God-Sized Dreams

The Liebster Award

December 5, 2013 by Mel · 8 Comments

My sweet friend and heart-sister, Kristin, nominated me for the Liebster Award. (This is my first bloggy award…how fun!) The Liebster is a fun way to introduce smaller blogs to more people…and I’ll be passing on the Liebster love at the end of this post. 😉

I met Kristin for the first time (in)RL at Allume, but it felt like I had known her for years. We first connected through the God Sized Dream Team and then God planned it all out (He did!) for us to be roomies at the conference. We are also part of the same Mastermind group, are both contributing writers for a new blog coming soon, and have been in the same HelloMornings group for the last two sessions.

Her friendship is such a gift to me…and not just because she lets me borrow her boots and her jewelry. (Take note of the necklace in my headshot on the blog…yep. Totally hers. She has fantastic taste, and going shopping with her is on my bucket list.) 😉 But, really? She’s just wonderful. Make sure you check out her blog because she just has the biggest, most generous heart ever, and that leaps off the virtual pages of her space. You’ll be blessed!

And thanks, girl, for letting me “borrow” this picture from your blog. Yours is better than mine.

So I get to have a little fun, share some love, and then pass the award on to a few of my friends. (See the end of this post for that!)

First up, 11 random things about me.

1. I’ve lived in four different states and one other country besides the U.S. That’s not too impressive until you understand that for the first 23 years of my life, I lived in Iowa. Just Iowa.

2. I’ve been to 20 countries…we love to travel. It’s a beautiful, beautiful world.

3. I drove a pink motorbike when we lived in Indonesia. I hate pink now…I purchased it during that very, very short period in my life when I thought pink was cool. But I do miss that bike…it was fun.

4. I taught myself how to play the piano and the guitar, but singing is my first musical love. I can also somewhat hold my own on the djembe and can even pluck out a few songs…a few…on the ukulele.

5. My name is Mel. Yes, it’s short for something else, but there’s a reason I go by Mel. Even people I’ve known my whole life seem to think that my full name is Melissa or Melanie or even McKenzie. (No clue how they arrived at that one, and none of them are.) I’m seriously considering legally changing it, but hubby isn’t on board with that one just yet. But it’s Mel. Always Mel. 😉

6. I love running…most of the time. In fact, I’d like to run a half marathon next year. But no more than that. Two hours of running seems like it’s about my limit. 😉

7. I’m a klutz. Really. I trip a lot, and it’s kind of hilarious.

8. When I was pregnant, I wanted a little girl so badly that I wouldn’t believe my doctor when she told me we were having a girl. Four times. Even the day Mae was born, I kind of expected her to come out a boy.

9. My hubby and I met, started dating, and were engaged within five months…and we got married ten months later.

10. I use a copious amount of emoticons when I write. Please don’t go back and count. 😉

11. I was the world’s pickiest eater growing up. There are now only a handful of things I won’t eat…maturity and most living overseas are probably what changed things.

And Kristin had eleven questions for me.

1. What is your favorite time of day? I’m such a night owl…I could stay up until two or three in the morning watching cheesy movies, but life and responsibility force me to go to bed at a more reasonable-ish hour. Usually around 11 pm.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? As tempting as it is to say Bali (I love me some tropics!) I’d choose here. In this house with the people I love. We truly are blessed by the community and friends we have.

3. What is your biggest pet peeve? Hmmm…I have two. Mean people and people who waste my time.

4. Salty or sweet? Can I say both? (I LOVE salted caramel!) But I probably lean toward sweet most of the time.

5. If you could have one wish granted, what would it be? Probably that my daughter will grow up to love God and serve Him with her life…and as part of that wish (or prayer), that God will give her mommy and daddy the strength to let her do just that, no matter where He takes her.

6. What is your middle name? Rose. Though, funny story. In elementary school, I changed it a few times…and at one point I had FOUR middle names. I’m funny like that. 😉

7. What is your favorite Christmas tradition? As a family, we’re starting a few…like a neighborhood cookie party and reading the Christmas story together. And though it’s completely dorky, I love the movie Prancer. I probably watch it at least five times every Christmas.

8. What book are you currently reading? Actually, I’m reading several. My hubby and I are reading Love and Respect in the Family by Emerson Eggerichs together. I’m also going through a study on Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift, and it is so fantastic and changing the way I look at Advent and Christmas. And I’m part of a book study on God is Able by Priscilla Shirer…I’m one chapter in, but I know it’s gonna be good! And my Mom’s Bible Study is going through The Resolution for Women. (Also by Priscilla Shirer and also a good one!)

9. What is the last package you received in the mail? Dayspring sent me a pretty sweet T-shirt and some other goodies a couple of weeks ago. That was a happy surprise, one that I wasn’t expecting!

10. How many loads of laundry do you do in a week? Anywhere from 6-10, depending on how many times I work out and how impatient I am to get the sweaty smell out of my bedroom! 😉

11. What is the best Christmas present you have ever received? Hmmm…that’s a tough one. I’ve been blessed with some pretty good gift-givers in my life. 😉 I think it’s a tossup…between the scooter I got when I was nine years old (I wanted one soooooo badly) and the year my hubby bought me the Rogers and Hammerstein collection on DVD. (I think he regretted it when I started hosting my own little impromptu concerts, though!)

Now, my eleven questions for the friends I am nominating!

1. If you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be?

2. Do you eat breakfast? If so, what?

3. Coffee or tea? Or neither?

4. Christmas tree…white lights or multi-colored?

5. What time of day do you do your best writing?

6. You have a rare day off from any responsibilities. What do you do with it?

7. Do you have any hidden talents? Please share!

8. What’s your most embarrassing moment?

9. What’s a movie that you’ve seen so many times, you can practically quote it?

10. Do you sing in the shower?

11. What’s your favorite book…you know, that one you can read over and over?

And now, my Liebster nominees! (Please stop by and leave them some comment love!)

Cathy from Moments on the Journey. She’s my buddy from the GSDT, a sweet, (in)RL friend, and I just love her and the encouragement she is to me! Plus, she has some of the most fun ideas ever…just check out her blog!

Amy from Living in Harmony. Amy is one of the first online friends I really connected with, and she is always a sweet encouragement to me. She claims that she’s a better speaker than a writer, but I really enjoy her writing and her insights, and I can’t wait for the day I can hear her as a speaker, too.

Julie from Whimsical Words. Julie is one of my GSD sisters, and she was such a happy blessing to me at Allume. I knew she’d be there and I definitely looked forward to hugging her, but I didn’t know I’d connect with her and love her so much! Silly me…she’s wonderful. AND she makes beautiful, hand-stamped cards. So you should check out her Etsy store while you’re at it!

Thanks again, Kristin…so fun!

Filed Under: blessings, community, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, random, what I'm learning, where I am

Behind the Scenes: On Allume, Cake, and the Blessing of Sisters

October 29, 2013 by Mel · 26 Comments

This?

This is cake.

It’s my love language. (Well, one of many.) 😉

And this particular piece of cake? It was eaten on Sunday, late morning.

After my roomies had left.

After I’d said (and cried over) a lot of goodbyes.

After I’d made a quick jaunt to this sweet little coffee shop with a dear friend.

I just needed a little time to think…about an amazing weekend spent surrounded by so many of my beautiful sisters.

Well, I also needed something amazing to eat as I attempted to cram all of those sweet, awesome, swag goodies into my suitcase. Trust me, friends…when they tell you to bring an extra suitcase, Just. Do. It.

Says the girl who checked a 50.5 pound bag and toted a way-too-heavy carry-on through the airport. 😉

Anyway, back to Allume.

Amazing.

Life-changing.

Love-led.

Spirit-filled.

It was overwhelming, but the good kind of overwhelming.

And, honestly, I can’t begin to process it all just yet. (Hence, the reason this post is #1 of about 212…)

Because I’ll want to tell you about how the country of Uganda wiggled its way into my heart, probably forever.

Or how I was blessed to meet with an agent and take another step with my book.

About how I met some truly fabulous women who are just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

And those posts will come, but they’re not quite here yet…I’m still processing, still smiling, and a teeny tiny part of my heart is grieving that the weekend is over. Yep, still rockin’ the ENFP all over the place. 😉

But I can begin with cake.

And?

This.

photo credit: Melissa Aldrich, Quiet Graces

My beautiful sisters.

This group of women who daily inspire me in my walk with Jesus. They live with passionate abandon, they prayer-cover those who struggle, they give an abundance of hugs, they laugh loud and love even louder.

They listen to my stories and share theirs with me.

We do life together…and even if it’s more through computer screens than at coffee tables, I will hold them in my heart forever.

More stories on the way…probably 211 of them. 😀

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes. We’re sharing the silly and sweet and sometimes-tear-jerking moments that happen behind the camera lens…I hope you’ll take some time and pop over to read some great stories.

Social media and online relationships can make us feel like everyone else has it all together. We’re edited, proof-read, Pinterest-perfect versions of ourselves (or so some might think!) when – in reality? There is an unfinished pile of laundry around the corner. That cute toddler smiling for the camera just had a massive meltdown seconds ago. That yummy breakfast-for-dinner you just showed us on Instagram? It’s because the cat licked the chicken that was supposed to be for dinner.

“Behind the Scenes” is a fun link up where we show those photos – but tell the real story behind them. The sneak peek behind the scenes, a look past the edges of the photo to the real life behind it.

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, blessings, friends, God-Sized Dreams, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

October 22, 2013 by Mel · 24 Comments

I had to bribe her with two jellybeans to get this photo.

This girl, the light of my days and complete sunshine of my moments…she and I have battled.

Almost constantly the last few days.

For whatever reason, she is fully embracing the three-ness of toddlerhood, and I?

Well, I am spent and have tapped into the very limited reserves of my patience tank. It’s not exactly going well.

And, yet, on a sunny Sunday afternoon she was hopscotching on the back patio, and I was bumming nearby with a salted caramel mocha in one hand and my phone in the other, and I thought,

I need more pictures with her.

Not just ones that are taken on the happy days, but also the pull-my-own-hair-out ones, too.

Hence, this photo.

Yep, there’s a lot of rough going on behind it, but I love that it’s there. Here, for me to see and remember.

Remembering that, even on the ugliest and most painful mommyhood days, the sun still shines.

And if it’s not shining in the sky, it sure is shining in the form of my girl.

Friends, can I ask prayer? I’m jetting off to Allume tomorrow. I’m uber, over-the-moon, joy-filled, excited to go…and yet my heart aches over being separated from her.

So much of me knows that I need the break…and that it’s just time to go and take this step closer toward a full-on chase toward my dream of publishing a book. But there’s a little piece (and maybe it’s not quite so little) that worries. I just need to wrap up all that fear and give it to my Father.

I know He’s got this…and now I’m praying that He’ll pour on the peace, too.

Thanks, y’all…looking forward to hugging SO many of you in just a day or two! SQUEEEEEEEEE!

😀

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Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, family, God-Sized Dreams, Maelie, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

October 1, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

Hey, friends.

Just up front, I don’t know why I feel the need to explain this, but I do. It’s not me defending myself…I promise. Just a this-is-why explanation. With a cute picture at the end. 😉

So, it’s October…and I have to admit that I’ve been waiting for this month for a loooooong time. Not only do I love fall and pretty much all things pumpkin spice (who doesn’t?!), but it’s also the month when I finally get to wrap my arms around the necks of so many amazing women who have walked this dreaming and writing journey with me in the last year.

I almost want to actually get up and do a cartwheel in the living room, but it’s early, and I’m tired, so I’ll refrain from that…but I will let out a virtual

Squeeeeeeeee!

Thanks for letting me do that. 😉

This is also the month when a lot of my blogging community is participating in the Nester’s 31 Day’s series.

I love the idea…blogging for 31 days (the entire month) about a specific topic. (I actually did my own version of it a couple years ago.) And I’ve gotta be honest here…I’m dying to participate.

But I know me…and I know my current season. I’m very aware of a certain book proposal and chapter edits that are hanging over my head. (Good stuff but time consuming, to say the least.) I’ve gotta keep my head on straight (haha…does that ever happen?! ;)) and focus on the dream and taking the opportunities that are there…I might not have them again.

And?

I’ve also got this great little girl…and the days are slipping by.

Too quickly.

To the point where I want to run upstairs and interrupt her beautiful sleep at 6 a.m. just so I can hold her in my arms before she gets any bigger.

This season, God is also calling me to something great beyond writing: He’s calling me to embrace being a mommy completely.

I don’t say no well.

But I said no to blogging 31 days…not because I think it’s a bad idea. (In fact, I think it’s an awesome one!) But because, this season, He’s got greater things for me.

Things like…

...stepping away from the computer and going to the park.

...leaving my phone in the house and going outside to swing with my girl.

…putting down my Kindle and picking up a story to read with her.

…Pounding out a book proposal and editing like crazy when she’s sleeping. (Had to throw that in…it’s my reality. :))

All of those things.

Plus…taking the time to skip down sidewalks while holding a handful of flowers.

Ok, ok, maybe I’ll leave that to her…but I might grab her hand and join her one of these days! 😉

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Happy Tuesday, friends! Today is the day when I join some sweet friends at Crystal’s space for Behind the Scenes.

Take some time today and stop by if you can…the hearts of these beautiful women who share their stories will encourage you as you read what’s happening behind the camera lens.

Filed Under: Behind the Scenes, being mommy, blessings, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, where I am, writing

Behind the Scenes: My Heart and an Invitation

September 16, 2013 by Mel · 27 Comments

This picture has popped up on my blog a few times lately.

Yeah, I think she’s pretty adorable.

A couple months ago, we took advantage of a Groupon deal and hired a photographer to come out to our C’ville stomping grounds and take some family pictures.

Let me tell you, friends…with a spunky toddler like we have, this was a tall order to fill.

But he rocked it, despite the fact that she was constantly on the move.

And? He managed to capture this gem.

To say that I. Completely. Love. It. is just scratching the surface.

Because what this is…it’s me and my girl and my passion and my heart all miraculously captured in one, beautiful photo.

For years, I have dreamed of writing. Of blogging, of publishing, of making a name for myself. (I didn’t say all of these were noble aspirations.) 😉

And during those years, another dream of mine has been dancing around my feet, sometimes holding my hand, sometimes spinning on her own.

This girl.

Maelie girl.

She’s fabulous.

And she’s my calling, my dream, my heart.

She is who I want to be my priority every second of the day.

Even over writing and blogging and publishing and being all that those things bring.

And so this picture…this snapshot of our moments…it represents so much.

Because I love my daughter to the moon and back. (Plus infinity…just ask her. ;))

I still love to write…

I still want to publish a book…

I still dream of being a contributor on a blog…and that one is happening soon, so stay tuned!

But my point?

Is that I want moments like the one in this photo all the time.

I want her all the time.

And so…I’m redefining.

Making mommyhood, marriage, a follower of my Father, a friend…priorities.

Oh, I’ll still write…’cause a writer still needs air sometimes. Plus, I just love to write…I can’t give it up.

But I’ll do that when she’s in bed. Or having her quiet time. Or watching her hour of tv (hour, not hourS).

😉

And I’m not perfect. I’ll fumble, I’ll fail, I’ll write a blog post while she watches yet another episode of Sofia the First or Doc McStuffins.

But where my heart is now?

It’s in that place where I don’t want to miss a single moment.

Ever.

And, friends?

I’ve been given a great opportunity, one I am incredibly thankful for, one I didn’t plan on…but one that God was weaving into His plan all along.

I am completely blown away by the opportunity to be an (in)courager.

Squeeeeeeeee! 😉 (Plus, imagine a little happy dancing, too.)

I am so excited to encourage and invest in the lives of other stay-at-home mommas like me…ones who, I have a feeling, struggle with many of the same things I do.

(In)courage has a new session of (in)courager groups kicking off this week, and registration is open! If you’re looking for a small group, a place to connect with women in the same season of life, a place to be encouraged…this is exactly for you.

You can go here to read the heart behind (in)courager groups AND to find one that is the perfect fit for you. Of course, I’d love it if you joined my group, but look for the one that best meets you in your current season. (And as of tonight, my group is full…but there are TONS of groups…go find one! ;))

Oh, the Silence

June 24, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

To most people, silence is golden.

I think of that often, especially since I’m mama to the sweetest…and possibly most talkative ever…toddler. We DO have a good time…we also do a lot of chatting. 😉

So for me, if there’s too much silence, something is wrong.

Which is actually funny if any of you knew me at all between the ages of 0 and 20-ish.

I kind of didn’t talk much. Or, really, at all.

And then I decided enough was enough…and maybe I started making up for the two decades I didn’t talk. 😉

Honestly, it’s been a test in maturity for me. I can truly talk someone’s ear off…I really have to be careful to keep a rein on my tongue and decide when to use my words and when to use my ears. Because, in my mind, there’s almost nothing better than sitting down with a friend and chatting it up for hours.

And hours.

And even more hours, if we have those hours. 😉

And for a long time in this space, it was the same way. Talk, talk, talk (aka: write, write, write) all the time, every day, without fail.

I began to find my worth in the number of times I hit the publish button on this page.

I was learning anything but silence during that time.

And then it happened…about a year ago. Instead of writing seven days a week, it went down to six. Then five, then four, and I sat at four for quite awhile. And then somewhere in there it went down even further to two or three.

I began to struggle for words…and for a writer, that’s similar to a struggle for air.

And I fought God more than you can possibly imagine.

What’s wrong with me, God? Where are the words? Where are the deep thoughts and lessons?

I felt useless.

Instead of basking in the gift of silence, of reflection, I was fighting it, determined to be noisy and heard.

Oh, Mel.

Mel.

Mel.

How often I act like this in life.

Instead of sitting and listening, whether it’s to a dear friend or my husband or my daughter or God…I beg for someone to listen to my words.

Friends, it’s become my time to be silent-er. (I do believe I just made up a new word.) 😉

Actually, it’s been that way for awhile; I just haven’t wanted to admit it.

That’s why this place has been so quiet lately.

There are still a few blog posts each week, but I’m well aware that I don’t share nearly as much as I used to.

The truth is that there’s a lot going on in my heart, and while it feels like He’s been putting me through the fire a little lately, I know His purpose is to refine me.

I’m seeing that refining and taking the time to process some really cool things…and, hopefully, I’ll be able to find the words for them soon.

And that’s really, really good.

I’m moving forward on a couple of dreams that I haven’t talked about too much here. Yet. 😉

One is in the works…being a contributing writer. And I’ve gotta tell you, friends…it’s been nothing short of incredible to watch God move on this one.

Ooohhh, I really can’t wait to tell you more soon!

And I’m taking a big, scary step and going for another dream today.

I don’t know when I’ll have an answer to this one, but I do know that if I don’t take this step…though it feels more like a gigantic leap off the edge of a cliff?! 😉

I’ll always wonder and wish…and just regret that I let the Chihuahua of Fear win. (Nope, you annoying, little, ankle-biter…you’re not winning this one.)

I’m believing that He’s got good plans always…even when I can’t see them just yet.

I. Just. Need. To. Trust.

And take the time to be still and know that He is God.

He’s. Got. It. All.

So thanks for hanging with me through the quieter days in this space, for stopping by and leaving comment love, for connecting and Tweeting with me…for just being there.

I’m so blessed by each of you.

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: I Dreamed Some Dreams…

May 28, 2013 by Mel · 36 Comments

We’ve been walking the path of God-sized dreams together for a few months now. Will you share an update with us about your dream? Let us know where you are with it–the happy and the hard. Tell us how we can pray for you and your dream too.

In 2005 we packed our bags for parts unknown.

Bandung, Indonesia.

Looking at a map, I was pretty sure it was about as far away as I could get from the Midwest, the place I had always called home.

Nevertheless, we did it. We crammed our lives into a suitcase and seven rubbermaid containers, shipped our dog on an airplane, said goodbye to all we knew, and we did it.

Moved to Indonesia.

And it became home.

At the time, we had no idea that we were living a dream.

We were aware that living and teaching overseas was something we’d wanted to do for awhile.

We were even more aware that God had called us to do it. So we answered with a yes.

And we fumbled and faltered and rejoiced and celebrated and cried and loved and lived and so many other things.

It changed us forever.

We lived out a dream, one we didn’t even know we had dreamed.

And months ago…maybe even years ago…another little dream crawled into a corner of my heart. I wanted to take the Indo-stories and experiences my Father had given to me and put them all into one place.

Write a book.

I even gave it a title. Lessons from Indonesia: On Life, Love, and Squatty Potties. 😉

And so when my friend, Holley, accepted me as a member of her God-Sized Dream Team last November, what I expected to pursue wholeheartedly during this time was writing this book.

After all, this was the dream I had in my heart.

And I wrote the book.

I did.

Hours upon hours at a corner table in the Starbucks on 31, more hot-turned-cold cups of coffee than I can count, and more smiles and tears, too…

…and it sits on my laptop and on my nightstand and in the hands of a friend…in the form of 120ish pages and 37,000 plus words. It is my heart and soul, the place where I bled love and life and happy and sad and so many memories…and it is a dream in every way.

That rough draft, read by one other person so far, represents the journey to a dream…one that I need to keep pushing forward to achieve…by writing book proposals that I don’t know how to write yet and handing it to people…even if it’s scary and makes me bite off all of my fingernails. 😉

I was fully aware that this dream I’d dreamed was a dream that I wanted to chase with abandon.

But over the last few months, there have been other things that jumped into my path.

For example…this space.

Yes, it’s been around for awhile.

And I guess I never really set out to make my blog a dream when I started it all in 2011. It was always my safe place, a place to laugh and cry and love and share it all. Of course, like any blogger, having an audience is nice, but it wasn’t my dream at the beginning.

And then?

These beautiful women from all corners started to stop by. Leave some comment love. Invite me to their spaces and into their hearts and lives.

A community was created and the dream to keep writing and sharing and loving people through my words was born. Or maybe another dream just grew.

And a few months ago, I let a dream…one that had been locked up tightly…out into the open. I let the whole world know that I want to write for (in)courage someday.

There it is again.

And I thought that maybe this whole letting-my-dreams-spill-out thing was over.

Two big dreams, and I’d shared them both.

But God has a funny way of working in hearts when we make the decision to go with His plan. And He brought something else into my life.

Mercy Ships.

Not as an I-need-to-do-this-now dream, but definitely as something that has made an impact on my heart and could be a possibility for us down the road. That’s a bit frightening and heart-pounding to think about. So, for now, we’re just lifting that one up and placing it into His hands.

Now, several months after the dreaming began, I find myself looking at three, and probably more, dreams that have somehow taken root and grown and changed me.

Some days it’s all I can do to simply catch my breath and make the choice to walk another day by His side in obedience.

Walk hand in hand. Not run ahead. Not drag my feet behind.

The truth is that, with these dreams, I’m not sure where I am.

Yes, I’m pursuing publishing a book.

And. Slowly.

This process is not for the faint of heart. I’m finding that out, and the reality of how difficult handing my words over to other people is…well, it’s breaking me and it’s harder than I ever thought it would be.

And my dream of being a contributor for another blog…well, that one is in the works. It’s not for (in)courage, a space that I still love and would, someday, still love to write for. But there’s another opportunity, one that I am truly excited to watch unfold. Hopefully I’ll be able to share more soon.

And moving to Africa to live and work on a ship? God has said a clear, Not now. I am ok with this…more than ok.

In all of this dreaming, He has been teaching me the beauty of now.

I’ve dreamed some dreams within the last several months, and though things don’t look at all like what I pictured they might, I am truly enjoying the journey.

And I’m so blessed by each of you who have been part of it.

Happy Tuesday! Today we’re spending some time reflecting on our God-Sized dreams at Holley’s place. We’d love for you to hop over and be part of what God is doing in some amazing hearts and lives.

Filed Under: (in)courage, adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: Rejection

May 21, 2013 by Mel · 24 Comments

What part of your dream feels the riskiest? Have you ever had people misunderstand or disagree with your dream? What do you do when your dream is scary or when others don’t support you?

I was never that girl…the one boys lined up for, the one girls invited to their slumber parties, the first one picked for a team, the cool one.

And though those feelings were always present while I was growing up, the worst years were middle school and into high school.

Kids were mean, just because they could be…maybe it was fun for them?

I’ll never forget that day during my freshman year of high school.

It had actually started out a few weeks before as I was sitting at lunch with a few of the “friends” I usually ate with. We’d been talking about a few random things, and I confessed that there was a boy in my algebra class that I thought was really cute.

For some reason they thought this was information worthy of bringing up repeatedly, even if he was within earshot. Because, you know, it’s fun to be fourteen and Completely. Obnoxious.

Have I mentioned how much I don’t like mean people? And mean girls are even. worse.

They would talk about it often, seemingly day after day after day.

And what I didn’t know one day as I took my usual spot at the table? That they’d planned a little something.

How nice of them. 😛

One of them leaned over and whispered to me, Hey, wants to eat lunch with you.

I remember giving them a strange look and questioning them, but these “friends” insisted that he was expecting me to go over to his table.

Reluctantly I glanced over his way, and he saw me. My heart was pounding, but I took the risk and I picked up my things and stood up to walk over to him when all of his friends (and he was surrounded by at least eight or ten guys) grabbed their trays and left the table, leaving him alone with me walking toward him.

He looked at me, and we both realized what they had planned. And the look on his face said everything.

Sorry, I’m not interested.

Let’s just say I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I’m pretty sure I went straight to the bathroom stall, my favorite one on the end, for a good cry.

Rejection.

It hurts, stings, leaves a mark. It damages self-confidence.

I’m mature enough now to realize that those awkward, teenage years don’t define me as a person. I don’t think of them often, and I certainly don’t dwell on the day when I realized that those friends really weren’t friends at all.

But when it comes to dreaming?

Dreaming God-Sized dreams like writing books and being a blog contributor? (And maybe even working on a medical ship someday? ;))

I fear rejection. It kinda makes me shake in my pretend boots. (Hey, it IS flip-flop season. ;))

The day I handed over my rough draft to one of my dearest friends…the actual, physical, letting-go of the draft was painful. Here was my heart and soul on paper, and she was only the first in a long line of people who will eventually (hopefully) read it.

What if she hates it? (P.S. Thankfully, she didn’t. :))

What if I really am a terrible writer?

What if I get a bad review or a nasty critique?

What if there’s not a publisher out there who likes it?

Or, worse, what if no one buys my book?

I suppose these are things all writers stare down at some point…but this is somewhat new territory for me. And if I think about it all for too long, I start to feel overwhelmed.

And sometimes?

Completely terrified to keep moving forward…because, honestly, those next steps scare me.

And, for me, next is a book proposal. I kind of did things backwards, not realizing I could submit a proposal without actually finishing the book. But, hey…live and learn and do things in creative ways, huh? 😉

And I have to be honest and tell you that I listen to the enemy’s whispers far too often.

I let him tell me that my writing is no good and that no one will want to read it and that I’m a nobody in the bloggy world.

Thankfully, I know the Truth, but there are always those doubts.

Because with risk comes the possibility of failure. Of rejection. Of a confirmation of those feelings of inadequacy.

I have certainly failed in my life, and I’m not finished with failure, I’m sure.

From being a wife, mommy and friend to writing, dreaming, and doing, there are those days when I feel as if I’ve failed miserably.

Each day I have to remind myself that I’m His.

That this dreaming? It’s for Him.

And so I’ll pick up that rough draft again and pore through it. Pick out a few chapters. Send them with the proposal.

Allow my restless heart to beat fast and furious as I wait for a response, knowing that on the journey to a dream, there’s always risk.

But along with that risk is the opportunity for the Giver of my dreams to bless unexpectedly and wildly.

And that’s what makes this dreaming and doing worth it.

***********************************

Happy Tuesday, sweet friends! Thank you for stopping by and reading my words. If you’d like a glimpse into the heart of some amazing dreamer friends of mine, you can find us linking up at Holley’s place. We hope you’ll join us for some inspiration and encouragement!

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, blessings, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, remembering, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: Another Dream?

May 14, 2013 by Mel · 38 Comments

For next week take this “do what you can” step for your God-sized dream: Share about your favorite nonprofit organization. They are all God-sized dreams in action. How have they inspired you?

Friends, I just want to warn you that this turned into a novel. But, hey, if my dream is to write a book… 😉 Please read it anyway. Maybe it will change your life…I hope so. I know it changed mine.

~Mel~

**************************

It’s safe to say that my husband and I have a heart for other cultures, overseas ministry, and making a difference in the lives of people we meet.

We spent several years with an amazing organization, the Network of International Christian Schools. (NICS) During that time we were living in Bandung, Indonesia, and working at Bandung Alliance International School (BAIS); Tobin as the IT Director/Yearbook Teacher, and I taught mostly upper elementary with one, extremely memorable, year of teaching preschool/art/random math. 😉

It was life-changing, to say the least, and opened our eyes to what truly experiencing another culture looks like. We loved Indonesia, and we also loved the people there; because when you live in another country that long, whether you plan on it or not, those people find a place in your heart. And sometimes occupy a large territory of it, too.

We stayed five years.

Therefore, I AM 5% Indonesia…and no one can take that from me. (However, if I live to be older than 100, I may need to reconfigure the percentage. ;))

Being part of NICS changed our lives…and lives are being changed all over the world. If you happen to be a teacher and are interested in overseas teaching, this is the organization to check out. There are twenty schools around the world in some amazing places.

In reality, the chance to be part of NICS and BAIS was a dream come true, even if we didn’t know we were dreaming it at the time.

And then we moved “home”…though, since living overseas, the word home is extremely relative.

We bought a house and are putting our roots down deep. I suppose things would look different if we didn’t have a family, but we do…and we want Mae to have a place to call home.

God has blessed us above and beyond what we could have dared to hope for…an amazing neighborhood and community, an incredible church, friends who are family and now a part of our hearts and lives forever.

But does that mean we’ll never go again?

There was a time in the last two plus years when I would have told you, Absolutely not; we’re here to stay. Forever. Probably with a theoretical foot stomp thrown in there because I’m like that. 😀 I look around me, and sometimes I just have to catch my breath because I’ve fallen in love with where we are. Pulling up those roots would tear up my heart, and I think I’ve always had it in my head that this is it.

And it really could be.

But God has a funny way of stirring a heart and reminding it that He’s got it all planned, and those plans are mapped out beautifully, according to what He knows is best for us. Not what we think we know.

He hasn’t called us to do anything else yet.

And He may not; so we stay and pour what we have into our lives here and now. I love this place and am incredibly thankful each and every day that we are blessed enough to call this place our home.

But I have to tell you a secret, one that made me literally weep all over the keyboard of my Macbook last week.

Lately, my heart’s been wondering…Could it be that we might go again?

I don’t know…I just don’t. 😉

What I know is that I came across this.

Mercy Ships.

I did not go looking for it. In fact, until last week, after Holley gave our assignment for this week, I’d never even heard of it.

I actually discovered it when a friend from Indonesia posted his sister’s blog on Facebook…she is a nurse for Mercy Ships Africa.

So, of course, I had to check out the website, which linked to a 60 Minutes special. (Which I’m going to post. Which you need to watch.)

I cried the entire way through it…all the while, letting more dreams take root in a corner of my ever-bleeding-for-someone heart. Because, of course, my husband and I don’t have medical degrees. Or plans to get them. Hey, it’s best to stay within your giftings. 😉

But in browsing their website, I discovered something…or a few somethings.

First, people raise their kids on these ships. For a long time, we talked about how wonderful it would be to raise Maelie on the mission field. And there’s a school…school = teachers. I do love to teach.

But guess what? They also need a writer…someone to write publications for press, someone who can give a glimpse into this amazing ministry, someone who can love these people and share their stories.

Can someone please come to my house and attempt to calm down my ever-racing, I-want-to-do-this, heart?

And, lo and behold, they need IT . Folks, he’s good. If the guy can deal with Indo technology for half a decade and not lose his sanity, I’m pretty sure he could deal with it anywhere. Even on a floating vessel. 😉

Those of you who know me will not be surprised that my ENFP brain couldn’t spin fast enough. Let’s go! Let’s go! it shouted…and potentially still IS shouting.

I may or may not have started packing our bags. 😉

And I’ll admit to you that I had to cry this out for a few days before I came to the place of truth. That place that said something like, Mel, not now. Maybe someday, but not now. Ok, that voice was ~~most likely~~ my husband. 😉

It’s a truth I had to wrestle with…the one of joy in where He has us for now; the contentment of praying for His will and going if someday, He does say, Go; but staying if He says stay.

That wrestling ended up being good because a peace took over my heart, and I handed it to Him. I love that I can trust Him to show us if this might be in His plan…when it’s His plan. That day is not today…and it probably won’t be for several years. (Though He could definitely surprise us! Hello, Indonesia? Neither of us saw that one coming…)

But what I know is that I found myself completely fascinated, burdened, and stirred by this ministry that has somehow missed my radar for so long. It’s one where people are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus to some of the poorest of the poor…

Loving people.

Saving lives.

Making an eternal difference.

All of the workers pay their way for the privilege of being part of what Mercy Ships does. These God-Sized dreamers are my new heroes.

Would you consider supporting someone who is part of this amazing ministry?

You can go here to do that.

Friends? I think there might be another God-Sized dream taking root in my heart.

I have no idea what it looks like, but I can’t wait to watch.

**************************

And here’s the clip from 60 Minutes…the best 12 minutes you will spend this week. If for no other reason than simply having your eyes opened, will you watch it? I want to be honest and tell you that this news clip is somewhat graphic and difficult to watch…and they warn you of that on the video. I ask you to watch it anyway.

Thanks for stopping by today, friends! On Tuesdays I link up with my dreaming sisters at our sweet friend, Holley’s place. Will you join us and see what God is doing in some brave and beautiful hearts?

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: What to Give, What to Give

May 7, 2013 by Mel · 31 Comments

Find a way to pay it forward. You’ve been encouraged in your God-sized dreams by your sisters here the last few months. How can you spread that encouragement forward by investing in other dreamers? It can be small and simple or BIG and wild. Ask God what you can do and get creative.

I read this last week.

I maybe went to hide under the bed after I read it. Or, maybe I just thought about hiding. 😉

And then I spent several days tossing it around in my head…

What to do, what to do…

What to give, what to give…

And then I landed on a Great. BIG. HUH?!

Zero direction. God? I’m a little confused.

So I walk a little on the crazy-dreaming side sometimes. Big surprise, huh?! 😉 I tend to come up with grand schemes and plans in my head, plans that often are really a little too far out there. (That’s why I am married to T…he keeps my head from completely floating off into the clouds.)

I’m also a gift-giver which does not always go well with being crazyish…again, thank you, hubby, for keeping me grounded enough that I don’t give away our second car or an all-expenses-paid trip to Bora Bora.

Kidding, kidding. 😉

It’s just that when I read this, God said Give.

Give what, God? What do I possibly have to give?

How do I invest in another dreamer when I’m wading through what exactly my own dreams look like?

And then I just took some time to think about my dreams…what He’s doing with them, where (I think) I’m headed with them, and what might be the next step.

I’m in that season of waiting and searching and praying…I’m not exactly sure what comes after dashing out a 37,000 word rough draft. I’m not exactly sure how to pursue being a writer for a bigger blog when it seems that sometimes I can barely keep up with my own space and life. And I’m scared of Twitter, too…which seems to be a necessary aspect to anything these days.

There, I said it. Really. Any and all Twitter advice would be greatly appreciated. 😉

Anyway, as I was tossing these things around in my brain and in my heart, He reminded me of a few things.

Prayer and encouragement.

They seem small, but I think of the times that, out of the blue, someone has sent a text of encouragement or offered a prayer for me…those mean so much to a tired and struggling heart.

And maybe that’s where I am right now, too…I may not have anything wild and crazy or earth-shattering to give or share, but I can

Pray.

Encourage.

Love.

And maybe there was a gentle reminder, too, that my eyes don’t always need to be on me. Maybe in this season of waiting and praying, He’s asking me to look and see what I can do for others…

Maybe someone needs a friend.

Or a safe place to cry.

Or a shopping buddy…I’m really good at that one!

Or a chitchat over coffee. I do that really well, too.

I’m praying God will keep my eyes open to what those around me might need.

How are you doing, friend? Is there something I can pray for? Do you just need a word of encouragement? Leave me a comment or send me an email. I’d love to pray for you.

And, who knows? Maybe I’ll be giving away an all-expenses-paid trip to the tropics someday soon. 😉

It’s Tuesday! My dreaming sisters and I are hanging out at Holley’s space. Come by and say hello…we’d love to see you there!

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, prayer, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

The Liebster Award

Behind the Scenes: On Allume, Cake, and the Blessing of Sisters

Behind the Scenes: On Jellybean Bribery

Behind the Scenes: Saying No…and Maybe a Little Skipping

Behind the Scenes: My Heart and an Invitation

Oh, the Silence

My God-Sized Dream: I Dreamed Some Dreams…

My God-Sized Dream: Rejection

My God-Sized Dream: Another Dream?

My God-Sized Dream: What to Give, What to Give

Mel

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