For a Season

September 17, 2014 by · 1 Comment

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I watched the two of them walk ahead of me for the almost-two-block distance to our house.

For the last time.

Hands clasped, any passerby would have believed they’d been friends for so much longer than a month.

And I thought back for a few moments…

It was a normal, early-June day, and a girl from the neighborhood, one I’d seen a few times, rode her bike down our sidewalk. My four-year-old was playing on her swing set, and I watched as the girl slowed her bike and came to a stop.

That was the only invitation my Mae needed.

Running over to her, she greeted her already-friend, and the two of them were playing together in seconds.

A few weeks later, her mom stopped by and chatted with me. Though I’d talked with her a handful of times in our four years on Wisconsin Street, this was the first time we’d talked in depth.

And it was in that conversation she mentioned she and her daughter were moving several states away at the end of July.

My heart felt a little pinch as I realized this new friendship for my daughter (and for me) was only for a short season.

And I realized that there have been times in life when I’ve questioned the seasons God gives us.

 ______________________

Today I’m over at God-sized Dreams, talking about the seasons He gives…and how He’s teaching me to trust that they are good. Join me?

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Sig

Filed Under: friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, miscarriage, where I am

A Small Act

August 8, 2014 by · Leave a Comment

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We walked with her through the crowds several Saturdays ago, her hands joining us as a family of three. Amid the chaotic scenes of ferris wheel lines and bouncy houses galore, the permeating scents of greasy, delicious cheese curds and deep fried Oreos, and the musical sounds leading up to Mandisa, I felt myself breathing thanks again.

Thank you, God, for this moment. For today…that we can be us.

And I had no idea that He was going to take that moment and etch it in our hearts forever.

You see, as we walked through the Freedom Fest, held every year in Janesville, Wisconsin, our sweet four year-old daughter stopped. She let go of my hand and turned to her daddy.

“Daddy?” She pointed toward two middle school-aged girls sitting on the ground, having a snack. “Daddy, those two girls are so beautiful! Can I tell them they’re beautiful?”

He smiled and released her hand, and in all of her 40 inches of tallness, she bravely walked over to them.

“You’re really beautiful!”

The girls smiled back and returned her words. “Thank you. So are you!”

And what my husband noticed, that I somehow missed, was the true reaction of the two girls our daughter had bravely approached. Her simple words had made their day…and he could tell it just by the looks on their faces.

Our sweet girl had taken the time to go beyond herself to make someone else’s day.

Today I’m over at God-sized Dreams, talking about doing for others in the middle of our dreaming. Will you join me? :)

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Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, Tobin, where I am

Just Keep Running

July 10, 2014 by · 22 Comments

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Several days a week, my view during my morning run looks like this. You would think that would be enough to get me excited about actually running…but, um.

I confess.

I confess that running is maybe not my most favorite thing in the world on a lot of the days. A LOT.

There are times when I do really, really like it.

And then there are a lot of times I don’t, but I do it anyway. I drag myself out of bed, force the socks and shoes on my feet, and push my own bum out the door just so I can M.O.V.E.

I don’t look like a runner…I’m just telling y’all that now. My running clothes aren’t bright, fun colors and expensive brands. Nope. I run in Target shorts and tank tops and my running shoes are the Nikes that were on sale, big time, at Kohl’s last fall. (And a lot of times? I just sleep in my running clothes…minus the shoes… 😉 so I don’t have to change in the morning.)

I don’t have a perfect stride or even-close-to perfect breathing when I run my miles. Also, I’m pretty sure my arms flop around like Phoebe’s do in that episode of Friends.

There are a few days when I basically make it my goal to survive…And, to keep running.

And so I get out there and I do just that. Some days are better and faster, and some mornings I’ve gotten a whole lot more sleep than others, but I go. I do it.

And all of those things? Well, they make me a runner…at least, in my mind.

You see, when I plan to go running, I set my goal before the first steps. And, barring a major injury, I have a rule that I don’t shortchange myself. If I’m going out for six miles, I’m going to do six miles.

Three miles of sprints? No cheating. Just do them. (Ugh. And I realllllly don’t like sprints.)

Last weekend, I wanted to quit halfway through my four mile run. (The problem with that was that it was at the turnaround, so quitting…yeah…) I’d run about a 19:50 split on the two-plus-a-bit-more, and I was happy with that. I’d just turned around and passed the little section of the path that almost meets the road, and cars (with onlookers) zoom by.

It was then that two guys on bicycles passed me going the other way. All I heard them say? She’s a runner? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!

Plus laughter.

Ok, ok so I know. I KNOW. They could have been talking about anyone.

But it was a bit of a tough pill to swallow for the girl who already doesn’t feel like a runner or really look like one, either…and I felt the defeat creep in as I forced my feet to keep moving. Boy, was the finish line…in the form of my front sidewalk…a welcome sight.

But then I thought about that comment…and whether it was actually meant for me or not wasn’t the issue. You see, there are always going to people who choose to use their words for discouragement.

There are also going to be people who look at a person at judge them just by what they see. They don’t know the story, and they don’t know the hundreds upon hundreds of miles you’ve run or thousands of steps you’ve taken or millions of words you’ve written.

I have a choice…WE have a choice. We can let them squash us or we can just keep running. Or writing. Or doing. Or being.

I’m thankful that last week, I chose to keep running. Was it my fastest time? No.

Was I dying just a wee-bit when I finished? Maybe, yeah. 😉

But their words didn’t stop me, and they shouldn’t stop you today, either.

It’s been a weird season for me, to be honest. I’m not exactly sure what God is doing with my words or with my family or, even, with my life. But I’ve got to believe and trust that He’s got a plan.

He does. And it’s a good one, because He promises us just that.

And so, some days I pull myself out of bed and go for that run, the one that is replacing another glorious hour of sleep that I could have. 😉

Other days, I sit down and write words…words that might end up published or words that might just stay hidden in the pages of a journal.

And yet, others…well, I don’t know on those days. And so I open His Word and pray…pray that He’ll give what I need for the day. He always does.

And, somehow, my feet find a way to move forward…to keep running.

I don’t know where you are today, my friend…but keep running. Whether you are pounding words or pounding pavement, He’s got this.

And I’ll cheer for you, too. :)

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, running, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

The Cost of a Dream

July 7, 2014 by · 2 Comments

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I’ve talked here and there about the piece of my story that involves Indonesia.

The short version is that my husband and I spent five years there…serving, living, loving.

It was good, and it was full of lessons.

It was hard, and it was full of tears.

It was long, and at the same time, it went by too quickly.

I’ve been back in the States for about four years, and I mean it when I say not a day goes by that I don’t ache for Indonesia.

But something God has had to teach me is that the ache isn’t a bad thing.

Rather, it means that it meant something.

Nearly nine years ago we were selling off our lives…the tangible parts at least. Except for putting some things in storage and packing eight suitcases/containers, it was all going away…to friends and family, to strangers, some of it even to the curb.

It was what we had to do to follow the dream of Indonesia, and we were okay with that. Mostly.

But following a God-sized dream like Indonesia came at a price.

Today I’m over at God-sized Dreams, talking about the real of following a dream…and the beauty that He brings when we choose Him. Join me? :)

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Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, remembering, where I am

The Dream in Front of Me

June 9, 2014 by · 2 Comments

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It’s a slow morning, the kind when we don’t need to go anywhere.

I’ll always take one of those. :)

Our morning routine is often the same…I’m up early for quiet time and (most days!) a good workout. I get the coffee going and have my first, of many a few cups.

She sleeps until about 7 a.m. and then greets the day, usually with howling or singing…and though I sometimes grumble when I hear those first signs that she’s up, the truth is that I LOVE her exuberance at the thought of a new sunrise and the life that awaits in the coming day.

Part of this routine is the same, too…up for breakfast and a bit of TV while this mama finds the coffee (again) and sits at her computer to pound words and paragraphs that might just form a post.

And so, on this particularly slow morning, I find myself sinking even further into the routine.

I look up, startled by the clunk of the mailbox. (Yes, our mail comes early.) 😉

How is it 9:00 already?

I peek into the living room to see her sprawled on the couch…almost a zombie…munching the last of her Apple Jacks from the bowl, eyes glued to Jake and the Never Land Pirates.

And I? Have just woken up from my own little zombie state, too…definitely not a useless daze, but one in which I remained for far too long…

Today I’m over at God-sized Dreams, sharing a dreaming lesson He’s teaching me through my precious daughter. Join me?

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Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am

Take Me Deeper

May 23, 2014 by · Leave a Comment

deepwater
There are moments in life when I wish I could go back.

Yes, I often ache to relive memories…but there is one in particular. And I want to go back so I can savor it a little more.

I wish I had known, at the time, the turning point in our lives that July 30, 2005, would mark. It was the day our Cathay Pacific flight touched down in Jakarta, and, for the first of many times, our weary feet met the soil of Indonesia.

Our feet were always weary at the end of that trip…30+ hours of cramped airplane space and crossing oceans will do that to just about anyone! 😉

We knew we were setting out on an adventure. Following a calling. That our lives were changing dramatically. All of that…plus more.

But I don’t think we understood just how much the two years we’d committed to, along with the extra three we signed up for later, would change us.

I’d like to go back now…to look at myself then versus now.

And maybe to also tell that 27-year-old girl it was all going to be okay…more than okay, because her Father had great plans in spite of the inadequacy she felt.

Today I’m over at God-sized Dreams, sharing more of my Indonesia story. Will you join me?

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Photo Credit: Emrys Roberts

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, remembering, Tobin

On Community and Sisters

May 2, 2014 by · 3 Comments

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I boarded the plane last Friday morning feeling depleted.

It had been a long few months.

Months that were full of so many blessings…trips, reunions, memories, friendship. So much to fill my heart with thanks.

And yet…months that were full of so much discouragement. A halt to my dreams, a funk that I couldn’t pinpoint, words that were gone.

All I knew was that tired reigned and I was running close…so very close…to empty.

Add to that the fact that anytime I fly, the butterflies do backflips. My stomach goes nuts. Really, it’s pretty miserable until the flight is over, and then things tend to calm down. Thankfully the plane landed early, my crazy-70’s-flower suitcase was one of the first bags out of the gate, and I had no problem finding and hopping the transit shuttle to meet my friend, Mandy.

Just a few minutes later we were exchanging a hug, taking a selfie, and grabbing a Starbucks while we waited for another friend to arrive.

The butterflies were gone, and it was the beginning of a beautiful weekend.

Mandy&MelAirportYes, that’s a moonwalking cow in the background. I guess he’s famous? 😉

Just an hour or so later, we were all at Gindi’s house, together…most of us reuniting with hugs and hello-agains, and a few hugging hello for the first time.

It was a moment when I stopped, took a deep breath, and determined to savor it all.

And through the weekend, there was plenty to savor, and I’m not just talking about the awesome food.

Y’all. Really.

Tex Mex, BBQ, sandwiches, chips with spinach dip (Oh. The. Spinach. Dip.), a dessert platter to die for. (It’s a wonder I came back lighter…I have no clue H.O.W.)

But food aside, the community. The sweet conversations. The powerful prayers. The amazing worship. The heart spills. The tears. The laughter. The stories. We came together to talk, plan, and pray about the future of God-sized Dreams, but we left with so much more than that.

It was all an amazing gift.

I still can’t quite wrap my head, or my heart, around the fact that God decided to bless me this much. THIS. MUCH…with a community of women. Writers. Dreamers. Friends. Sisters.

It’s true. They are sisters and my family. And we share life, even if it’s more often through messages and voxer than it is around a table.

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They love me even when I’m the ugly crier in the room, they laugh when I get a little crazy and do a cannon ball into a kinda-cold pool, they listen and love when I tell them that I’m not sure of much right now. They smile and do life with me anyway in the mall when the four inch heels just aren’t cutting it and I’m forced to live up to my bloggy namesake. They (somewhat?) willingly happy dance with me. 😉

I’ve spent several days trying to find words…adequate ones…that will explain just how much these women mean to me…and what this weekend meant, too…and there really aren’t words. Just our Father who brought us all together and gives us the reason we’re doing what we do.

I’m thankful. I’m blessed.

And He is Good.

And the weekend did so much for my heart. Even as I boarded the plane Sunday night in Houston when the weather was bad, and I knew that the flight was going to be rough…my heart was still so full.

God gives gifts in all kinds of different ways. This gift…the amazing gift of community…is one I breathe thanks for each day.

To my beautiful sisters…(in no particular order, I promise!)…Mandy, Christine, Holley, Lisa, Alecia, Gindi, Kristin, Elise, Delonna, Elizabeth, Chelle…you truly bless my life, and I am so grateful to be walking this dreaming journey with you.

And I already can’t wait until the next time we exchange hugs. And maybe do a little happy dance together, too. 😉

***Thank you to sweet Lisa, who let me borrow a few of her pictures for this post. :)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, community, encouragement, friends, God-Sized Dreams, where I am

Dear Dreamer…On One of Those Days

April 18, 2014 by · Leave a Comment

handsmug
Hello, sweet dreamer.

It’s your friend, Mel.

And I’m writing to you on one of those days. You know, those days. It’s the kind of day when I wish I could pour two mugs of coffee, add a little extra french vanilla creamer, and sit down for a heart-chat with you in a quiet corner at a cute little table.

Because…well, because we’ve all had those days, and sometimes I think we should talk about them more. Just so we can all be reminded that we’re not alone.

I’m imagining that, even as you read these words, you might be nodding your head. Saying, Yes. Or, maybe even, Days? How about weeks that stretch into months? (Trust me, I’m there with you.) 

Because there are those days, no matter who you are or what you’re dreaming, when the dreams feel shrouded in a fog so thick that there’s nothing to be seen.

Maybe the door to a dream has been closed.

Maybe He’s changed your heart and your desires.

Maybe fear has crept in and camped out in a too-big space, crippling your ability to move forward.

Maybe you’re just struggling for breath, hoping to make it to the next moment.

Or, maybe you’re all of them rolled into one…

Today I’m over at God-Sized Dreams, sharing a heart spill about some Truth on the hard days. Will you join me here? :)

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Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

For When You Want to Sprint Toward That Dream

February 21, 2014 by · 6 Comments

windingpathI’m a runner.

I first started really running several months after my daughter was born. That pesky baby weight was still hanging on, and I felt blah from all of the short nights and a basically brand-new life of this wonderfully exhausting thing called mommyhood.

However, I quickly found myself with almost a need to go running. Now I joke with people that I run for two reasons.

One, because it’s faster than walking.

And, two, so I can eat chocolate.

Take your pick…I think they’re both fantastic reasons, though one may tip the scales more than the other. 😉

I just run…I like to get where I’m going, and I like to get there fast.

And the same thing happens with my dreams, too.

I dream big, I dream all-out, and I dream in fast forward.

Must. Happen. Now. Yes, God? I know You totally agree.

I was thinking about this mindset during a Saturday morning several months ago as I tackled my first 10k. In the running world, this is not a huge accomplishment, but it was on my bucket list and something I wanted to cross off with a big, fat, thick X.

X.

And as I sprinted trotted through those miles of hills, (because why wouldn’t I choose a course full of hills for my first 10k???) I thought a little.

Or, a lot.

About how I treat so much in my life like a race.

Today I’m over at God-Sized Dreams, sharing some lessons He’s taught me along the path to a dream. Join me here? :)

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Photo Credit: NCinDC

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, running, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Embracing Your Gifts: God-Sized Dreams Link Up

February 11, 2014 by · Leave a Comment

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I’m mama to the sweetest…and spunkiest…toddler in the world.

Or, at least it feels that way.

Oh, the spunk and sparkle that my Maelie has packed into her three years and almost-eight months of life so far.

We joke in our house that she came out of the womb with a mind of her own, and that hasn’t changed.

And what’s been awesome to see is how God has used her spunky personality to bless others…even though she’s young.

It’s translated to things like random people at church getting full-on hugs. Chatting with people in the store…one day when she was two, she literally greeted an entire family as they walked into Target.

She’s not afraid of anyone…and she’s not afraid to love them, either.

Last fall my husband took her to a playground just down our street. While she was playing, a little girl fell off her bike nearby and was crying. As people went to help her, Mae jumped up to go, too. Wanting to keep her out of the way, my husband asked her to stay with him.

And in all of her three year-old wisdom…and there was a lot of it…she realized what she could do. She stopped, folded her hands, and prayed for the little girl.

That spunkiness? It’s also becoming compassion…

Today I’m over at God-Sized Dreams, sharing a piece of my story…really, a piece of the story God is writing for my little girl.

Join me? :)

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Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, Maelie, remembering, where I am
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