Mel’s Rules for Moving to Illinois

March 3, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I came across this today as I was sorting through old documents.

According to the last time I updated it, it was written two days after we moved here, on July 30, 2010. I suspect I was feeling lonely, Maelie was napping, and I needed something to do since we had no internet.

I smiled as I read through it…felt a little guilty, but mostly happy.

The way God provides is amazing…and reading this made me so very thankful for the blessings He’s given.

Oh, and I added my commentary ’cause I knew you’d want my reflections. 😉

Mel’s Rules for Moving to Illinois

1. Spend money on the bedroom. It is the place Tobin and I connect and share our most intimate moments. It is worth every single penny. Ok, ok so this one took quite awhile. But we did eventually follow through.

2. It is not wrong to have a most amazing kitchen, especially if it was already that way when we moved in…so don’t feel guilty about it. Success…I feel zero guilt and mostly love for my kitchen. Especially since there are no cockroaches hiding in the silverware drawer. :)

3. Take walks every day and meet my neighbors. (Plus I have that annoying baby weight I need to get rid of anyway…) We did take a lot of walks but that wasn’t really how we met our neighbors…they mostly came to say hi if we were outside. And the baby weight? Well, it took a lot more than walking! 😉

4. Don’t hide behind a closed door and wish for what I can’t have anymore. Thankfully this only happened for a few weeks before I was rescued by an incredible friend. I learned that, having an infant, it was very easy to hide but that I didn’t want to. And once I had a way to not hide, it was pretty easy to open the door.

5. Allow myself a Starbucks or Caribou once a week. Take Maelie and go, looking for someone to talk to. Don’t wait for someone else to initiate the conversation. I’ve definitely made a few friends in coffee shops…and I’ve probably allowed myself more than one coffee a week, too! I maintain that a coffee shop is a great place to find friends. :)

6. Make finding a good church a priority. Don’t sleep in on Sundays and “wait til next week”. (I laugh because there was no such thing as sleeping in ever with Maelie. I’m thankful that, after trying out a few places, God provided the best place for us. We love our church. :))

7. Post pictures of life for friends back in my other “homes”. I’m not a big picture-poster, but I do a decent job through the blog, I think. I’m still not great at keeping in touch, but if someone writes me, I will almost always respond.

8. Update my status on Facebook more often. Epic. Fail. However, I am not a person who wants the world to know what I ate for breakfast or who I’m currently annoyed with. I update it when there’s something to share. :)

9. Find a mom’s group, preferably one that meets at parks so the kids can play. Sunshine is good…especially when I haven’t seen it for several weeks.

LOVE. My mom’s group kinda found me…and I’m forever grateful. Bonus…it’s a mom’s Bible study, which I needed and wanted and was scared to hope for. AND they meet at parks in the summer. :) I love how God gives us desires we’re scared to admit we have.

10. Crying is ok…for a little while. But part of moving on is accepting that things have changed. I did cry for awhile…and the day I decided to like it here was the day I wasn’t sad anymore. I decided that change can bring some of the biggest blessings God has for us, if we’re willing to accept it.

11. True friends will always be there, whether I live down the block or across the world. Don’t be afraid to make some new ones—the old ones aren’t going anywhere. Enough said. :)

12. Give myself some grace in this time of transition. Stop expecting perfection from myself and others. I don’t know how I did on this one…but I know I’m thankful for the people who love me despite my imperfections.

:)

God is GOOD.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, culture shock, encouragement, friends, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Smoothie-Head, Temper Tantrums…and JOY

March 1, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

It’s 10 p.m. and I just brewed a pot of coffee. (Well, half of one.)

True story.

Yeah, it’s been that kind of day.

The title alone should make you wonder.

And I just felt like having a real virtual coffee date with you all…because some stories are worthy of a cup of java to go along with them. This one is with mocha creamer, and I have to admit it’s not my favorite. Should there be another cup tonight, I’m thinking the Bailey’s Irish Cream we have in the fridge. :) Yeah. (Ok, I just totally realized that I made it sound like I was pouring alcohol into my coffee at 10 pm…it’s actual creamer. I promise. :))

Mae and I have had a crazy up, silly down week. Wonderful moments, frustrating times…and I truly am more in love with my daughter than ever after this week. I often question myself as a parent, but I know without a doubt that my daughter is the most precious gift.

But all of that aside…she still provided some good

stories today…and of course I will tell them to you.

This is a coffee date, after all. 😉

So to tell you that Mae has reached the “terrible two’s” is a completely accurate statement. She just can’t understand why something might not go her way. Hence…the temper tantrum. Multiple times a day. Some are worse than others, but each grates on my nerves just a bit more than the previous one.

Thursdays are typically an easy day. She spends her morning in the church nursery with Miss Lisa, who she loves, while I’m at Bible study. She’s free to play, socialize, and eat…a good combo for my people-girl. She sees a lot of people she loves…like Aunt Kris and Miss Alison and Miss Melanie and Miss Sue…all who make her day a little brighter.

Today, though, it seemed that NOTHING and NO ONE could cheer her up. After Bible study, I went in the nursery to chat a bit while she played, and she became completely unhinged. There was no reason to cry…she just threw herself at me and wept. No fever, nothing wrong that we could tell…

She was just grumpy.

(There was a bit of grace…we all have those days.)

I’d try to put on her coat or pack up her things…enter the screaming fit.

I was tired by the time we got in the van to go to the mall.

Lunch at the mall is always interesting…mostly because the McDonald’s closed. But I bought her some pretzel sticks, and for a moment, she was content.

I got myself a protein smoothie…trying to stay somewhat within the range of healthy. Not sure I succeeded…

Anyway.

She saw that cup of raspberry-banana glory, and it was all she wanted.

And please understand me…I’m fine with sharing. But she did not need to drink the whole thing herself, either.

For several minutes we went back and forth. Since she was pretty content with actually sharing, I let her put her hand on the cup.

BIG mistake. Huge.

I went to take it back, and she clenched her little hand around it, jerked it up, the lid popped off, and out poured the smoothie…

Right onto her head and down her nose.

I was mad and I laughed at the same time…not sure how I managed that one.

A few wipes later and all was (mostly) clean.

It did, however, earn her the nickname Smoothie-Head in our house. Hee hee. :)

After “lunch” it was off to the playground where there was some playing, more grumpy-ness, and the confirmation that it was time to go home for a

NAP.

So I plopped her in the van, took her home, gave her some milk…and put her down for a much-needed-for-both-of-us sleep.

And while she slept…I thought.

About how even though there were more than several frustrating moments in the day, I looked back at them with JOY.

Because not every day is going to be perfect.

But if I can smile after watching my $5 protein smoothie dribble down my daughter’s face…and after countless battles of the will…

I know it’s all going to be good.

My Maelie girl, we had a rough day. But I want you to know how much I love you, how much I value those memories, and how thankful I am…that you are here. Your hugs, your smiles, the memories we make together…are all so treasured.

YOU are a treasure.

And I love you. Sleep well, my baby girl. I can’t wait to see your smile in the morning.

Love,
Mama

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, friends, just life, where I am

A Heavy Sort of Morning

February 24, 2012 by · 2 Comments

It’s a heavy sort of morning.

Outside, the blanket of white beauty that fell overnight makes the world a little prettier. The tree branches bending under the weight of their icy frosting make the scene outside my window look much more like a photograph than reality.

But it’s real…and a very real reminder to my heart this morning.

A few hours ago a dear sister from a decade ago went in for surgery, the doctors hoping to correct the problem with seizures she’s been having, their frequency and severity increasing. It’s a delicate surgery, and the snow covering the world reminds me of the blanket of prayer in which she’s wrapped.

God is Good…and He will be just that regardless of the outcome. But this pastor’s wife and mama to two precious girls has so much living to do…and we all pray that she will be able to do just that. KS, you are in my heart and prayers today and in the days to come.

Another dear, lifelong friend is aching and hurting so much right now. In so many ways, she is my hero. The Proverbs 31 woman, a fantastic mommy to her wonderful and beautiful children…and the ache in her is something I can’t fix.

That kills me.

All I can do is pray. He has already wrapped her in prayer and love. She is loved…so loved. And we trust in His goodness even when we don’t see purpose.

And still another dear friend faces unknown. I ache for that unknown, for I am still learning trust. But her strength and joy encourage me, a daily reminder of the Grace in which she walks.

Today I am reminded that just as the blanket of snow outside makes everything a little prettier, so is His Love.

It makes things beautiful.

He hears prayer, He calms troubled hearts, and He proves over and

over that He is Love.

And that He is Good.

It is in that blanket that I wrap myself today.

And the one I hope you find yourself covered in, too.

Sig

Filed Under: friends, just life, prayer, what I'm learning, where I am

Morning Thoughts

February 21, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

It is an extremely rare day that I blog before noon. Even rarer, before 9 a.m.

Mae is up for the morning, having her breakfast, watching her “Melmo”. (Elmo ;))

I’ve showered and am sitting down with a rather strange combination of morning goodies…my Airborne drink to (hopefully) keep on keepin’ this cold away; my oatmeal, with chocolate chips of c

ourse; and a cup of coffee. (With this amazing York Peppermint Patty creamer, since I know you’re all wondering!)

I had a good chat with a friend yesterday that provided a pretty enlightening moment for me.

See, I tend to be a burden carrier.

My heart takes the hurts and burdens of others, carries them around…and that eventually starts wearing me down as a person.

There are a lot of people in my life right now who are hurting. I want to be there for them. I ache for them. I cry for them. I lose sleep for them.

It’s the way my heart works.

Some people are easily able to give their burdens to the Father…I struggle with that. I want to but often find it hard to trust.

I processed that with her a little yesterday and left the conversation realizing that there’s a difference between letting burdens weigh me down and having compassion like Jesus did.

Last night I got a phone call from a dear friend, and she shared some heartbreaking news. I think I felt my heart break, and I could feel that I was weighing myself down once again. My mind raced, and I wondered what I could do to help…and her response was simple.

Please, just pray. It’s what we need right now.

Prayer. Giving it to God. Laying those things at His feet, knowing and trusting completely that He has it all figured out.

I am working on that…on not carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. On giving things to Him.

Still allowing myself to ache and cry…and love completely.

Because that’s compassion.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I love His promises, and this morning, this one is precious.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, friends, just life, prayer, what I'm learning, where I am

More Talk

February 19, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Ok, so tonight I’m completely herbal tea-in’ it. Yeah! :)

I’m really feeling ok…(knock on wood) but I don’t think the cold is going to hit beyond the I’m-tired-and-have-a-slightly-stuffed-up-head phase. We can hope, at least.

And while we’re being honest, I kinda like tea. I mean, all those fun, fruity flavors. Add a little sugar. What’s not to love? My heart still truly belongs to coffee…but I can have tea when I’m feeling under the weather. And when I’d rather not stay up ’til 3 a.m. Just sayin’. :)

I like Sundays. Really, really like them. We get to go to our church…which we love. We have some great friends there…we love them, too. 😉 I think Immanuel has been blessed with some really great pastors, and I always enjoy their sermons.

The music is the best, too. Maybe I’m biased, but I think all of those statements are still true. :)

Sundays also usually involve drive-thru and a nap.

I looooove not having to cook. (Thank you, Taco Bell…believe it or not, you CAN eat there without eating complete junk. Trust me…I’ve got it figured out. :)) The nap happened today, too, and while it was only about 45 minutes long, it was glorious.

Good thing I napped, too, because this Sunday also came with the weekly workout, which is usually on Mondays, but not this week.

I. Am. Pooped.

Running stairs and laps in the gym, doing lunges and arm raises with weights and chair jumps and burpees and more running and ab work for an hour? That’ll poop ya. (Golly, that was a funny statement. I’m leaving it anyway. ‘Cause it’s my blog and I can. ;))

The problem with the late(r) night workout is that I’ve got so much adrenaline pumping that it’s hard to wind down and actually go to bed before midnight. I’m staring at the computer, it’s just after 10:30, and I. Am. Not. Tired. At. All.

Thankfully, should my daughter choose to sleep in tomorrow, I can, too. I don’t have anything planned ’til 2:30.

That’s when I get to go to Goodwill. With a friend, which is even better. :) The funny thing is that, lately, I like Goodwill better than Maurices and Target put together.

I know, I know…who am I and what have I done with Mel?! :)

I got a blessing tonight in the form of a phone call from one of my best friends. We hadn’t talked in ages, and it was so good to catch up. :) I love random surprises that make a day just a little better. :)

And since I just hung up the phone and it’s closer to midnight than it is to 11, I should probably end this and crash for the night.

I’m actually tired. Probably because I didn’t have coffee. :)

G’nite, friends!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, where I am

A Tiny Bit of Caffeine and Some Talkin’, Too

February 18, 2012 by · 1 Comment

Ok, some depth.

Deep thoughts. I do those well, right? Well, sometimes… 😉

After my insanely late night last week, I know better than to sit down with a cup of actual coffee tonight. So we’re pretend-coffee-dating with a Diet Pepsi and my scattered, heart-thoughts tonight.

I just sent Tobin to Target. Actually, he went willingly, I am most positive, to have a break from the crabby girl.

And, no, we’re not talking about me. 😉 Poor Mae…her sleep has been less than enough the last few days, and even after an almost-three-hour nap, she was still quite moody tonight. And, anyway, it’s really best for all of us if Tobin goes to Target.

Because he will get what’s on the list.

I? Well, I of course will get what’s on the list. Plus, a little bit more.

For some ridiculous reason, inspiration strikes me all too frequently when I am strolling the glorious red and white aisles of Target. I have moments of creativity that make me justify spending $30 in the home decor aisle to improve that wall in my living room that never really needed to be improved in the first place.

Or, worse, I go in for shampoo and come out with all the supplies needed to throw a backyard BBQ. And it’s February. In Illinois.

See, this is why I send him to Target whenever possible.

Last night we had a fun double date with our good friends, Kris and Jonny, to celebrate Valentine’s Day. We went to Red Lobster, where I chalked up another new adventure. Hee hee. :)

Truly, it was an adventure.

We call it crab legs.

I’d never had them before…and they were really good despite the fact that it took me eons to actually crack one open. But they were worth it. :) And it was something new.

I like that.

And then we all played Hand and Foot ’til almost midnight, and that made me happy ’cause card games are my favorite. (And that was the reason I kinda blogged, but really didn’t, last night. But I hope you enjoyed the song anyway. ;))

Music has been my happy place lately. I don’t mean that it’s replaced anything…but if I’m having a day, I turn on the radio, crank up the iPod, or chord out a song on the piano. It just makes me happy to sing along…and I like to hear Maelie starting to sing, too. She’s even starting to play the piano…I use the word play very loosely…but once in awhile she’ll hit a string of notes that could be a tune. (Or maybe the I-believe-my-daughter-will-be-a-two-year-old-prodigy quality in me just thinks she hits the notes. ;))

Speaking of music…so I actually did finish that song I’ve been working on since, oh, 2008. Really, it has been that long.

Funny how projects seem to take me years longer than the average person. :) I like it. I actually think I might try to record it…not to do anything with it, but just to have it. For a memory and a reminder of the life and the change and the crazy we’ve lived…and my God who held (and still holds) it all together. Even though the words first came almost four years ago, I’ve been amazed, even in recent weeks, how they still ring true in my life today.

Something cool happened this week.

God answered a prayer for a friend…something I’d been praying about for several weeks. It just makes my heart smile to see how He works…and reminds me that when I’ve got something on my heart, the best thing I can do is tell Him about it. :)

I’ve been talking to God a lot lately…because life is hard. I carry burdens, I let my heart ache…and sometimes it just feels like a lot. I’m so glad I can tell Him all about everything I think and feel and know that He’s listening. That He loves me. That He understands.

This week could be a turning point…and I’d appreciate your prayers.

I love that I have Hope in my Father…and that I can rest in His goodness when I don’t see.

Well, I should end this 600+ word ramble…my Diet Pepsi was gone a few paragraphs ago, and I’ve moved on to herbal tea.

Yes, I realize how old that last sentence made me sound. Truth is, I’ve been fighting a cold for a week. I’m stubborn enough to put up a good fight,too, with the help of Airborne, tea, and mouthwash. (But not all at once… ;))

Hope you are all having a fantastic weekend.

Love ya bunches.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, blessings, coffee, friends, just life, Maelie, where I am

I Miss Her

February 15, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I have often talked about our house helper in Indonesia, Ibu Sari, and how much I miss her.

When I talk about missing her…I’m talking about her as my friend. I miss cooking with her, laughing with her, practicing my Indonesian with her…just being her friend. She’s wonderful. :)

And though, at times, I’ve missed the things she did for us, I think I did ok adjusting. For the most part I can keep up on laundry and cooking and (some) cleaning. (No comments from a certain person reading this… ;))

But today I missed her for a completely selfish reason.

See, she used to make this coffee cake for us.

I made it once, it took a small forever, and she watched. I planned that she would watch me make it so I would never have to do it again. I know, I know…I’m a teeny bit sneaky. 😉

And, without even asking, she made it all the time…probably at least once a month. And if we ever went on a trip, we knew it would be there waiting for us when we got back. (Once, it was the only thing we had to eat in the house.

True story.)

We haven’t had it since Indonesia…in fact, I think I ate a piece of it the morning I left. :) But there’s a reason for that.

(insert cheesy grin and slight head tilt)

And I rediscovered it tonight.

I have treats for Bible study tomorrow morning and have been planning to make this for a couple weeks.

Why did I NOT look at the recipe before today?

More importantly, how did I possibly FORGET why I hate making this so much

?

Because not only does the dough take eight hours to chill, the rest of it takes at least two. Three if you’re me.

Ugh.

And you are probably wondering why I have time to blog about it all…because I get to wait for an hour for it to rise before it bakes.

Hello going to bed at midnight.

I always miss my friend, Ibu Sari.

And tonight, I miss her just a little more. 😉

Sig

Filed Under: food, friends, Indonesia, just life, remembering

Little Blessings (Pt. 22)

February 13, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) Zumba. Chalkin’ up another new experience. I am not a dancer…and that’s ok. There was a lot of laughter, and that is definitely a blessing. 😉

:) Valentine’s Day…though we’re actually celebrating Friday. (I think!)

:) Realizing what a mistake it is to take Maelie into a book store…and being thankful that I had enough cash in my wallet to pay for the damage. Yikes. Blessing? Choosing to see it that way…

:) Seeing a friend, on above outing, and her UH-dorable baby boy.

:) Seeing God answer a specific prayer today.

:) Anne of Green Gables. (DON’T laugh. I’m completely addicted. You should be, too.)

:) Singing in the shower.

:) Going to a new destination (in another city) withOUT using the GPS.

:) Running five miles yesterday. (I coulda gone more…really. But my knee decided to “dislocate” for a second. Really. Supposedly what happens with runner’s knee. Yeah, it was good times. Choosing to focus on the I-ran-five-miles part. ;))

:) Two crazy golden retrievers who love me to pieces.

You know what? I love them to pieces, too.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, dogs, friends, just life, Maelie, running

A Letter to My Girl: Lessons from the Playground

February 9, 2012 by · 1 Comment

February 9, 2012

To my Mae…

Today I watched you play at the new playground at the mall by our house. Oh, we were exc ited to check

it out! They closed it for a few weeks to make it better, and today was finally the day that we could go with some friends! You had so much fun!

What you aren’t fully aware of yet…is how much I observe you while you bop around, exploring anything and everything that piques your interest even a little. Today, while I observed you, I noticed something.

That I could learn a lot from my 5-days-shy-of-being-20-months-old daughter.

You reminded me of JOY. Daily I choose to see the joy in a day, but watching you play brought out more in my heart than I could have imagined was possible. You were completely LOVING every moment (well…most of them, there were a few tears) as you explored and interacted…and smiled. You’re just a smiley kiddo…and everything these days brings out that beautiful smile. Sometimes I forget that JOY can be found in simple things, but you have already learned that.

You keep trying. You know what? It’s easy for your mommy to give up on things sometimes. Today I watched you climb the “wrong” side of the new tree slide, not knowing that it was the wrong side. You’d try and fall…over and over. Instead of getting frustrated, you’d find something else to do and still smile. And when you discovered that there were steps on the OTHER side? JOY! You were so happy to climb up them for a chance to try out the slide. Over and over. :) It may seem small, but you reminded me to persevere, even when things seem difficult.

You handled mean kids with grace. They didn’t mean to be mean…but they were. A couple girls who wouldn’t let you go down the slide. You’d come to me and cry…and that’s ok. I cry sometimes, too. Once a few tears were shed, you were ready to go back and try getting past them. Eventually someone told those girls to stop, and the slide was open again. And you just played again…with so much JOY. No hard feelings.

My daughter, you’re going to meet people like that in life. And when you do, my prayer is that you will exhibit a spirit of forgiveness and willingness to move forward, just like you did today. Your mommy is still working on that one!

I had a wonderful day with you. And though there were definitely tears when we left to go home for a nap, it’s the simple moments like these that I treasure the most. The chance to be out with you, just living life with the daughter I’d always dreamed of having.

You are a dream come true.

And I love you to the moon and back…plus infinity.

Love,
Mommy

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, Maelie

Late Night Coffee

February 7, 2012 by · 2 Comments

It’s been far too long since I’ve sat down with a cup of actual coffee while I write.

Tonight, at a quarter to ten, I’m gonna pour myself some and spill my heart…for at least as long as it takes me to drink it. 😉

I’ll let you know tomorrow how late it kept me up…though I’m tired enough that I’m not sure it will make too much of a difference.

Really random…but you know what I looooove? When coffee is at that just-perfect temperature and it kinda burns your throat as it goes down. Yeah, that’s awesome. 😀 (And I think I just solidified in all of your minds that I am a total dork. But, really, that’s ok. If you haven’t at least thought that by now, then you probably don’t know me well enough yet. But you’ll think it soon enough.) 😉

So I know I talk about Mae a lot on this blog…she is the majority of my life, after all. 😉 But it’s been amazing to watch her the last few weeks. Words are turning to sentences, she understands and follows directions, she’s able to tell me when she needs or wants something. It’s all kinds of crazy…and all kinds of happy. I just love her and the little person she is.

Sunday was an especially sweet day of Maelie memories. When I was singing on praise team that morning, I looked out and saw her pointing at me, saying, Mommy! Mommy! Oh, how part of me wanted to run to her and grab her and bring her back up on stage with me! After church, when I finally got to see her, I was walking around with her, and she was passing out hugs to everyone. It was the cutest thing. Then, that night, we went to watch the Super Bowl with some friends, and she was just so full of love and cutie patooty-ness. Really, that’s her every day, but I can brag on her, right?! I just love my girl!

So, barring an actual training program, I started training for my ten mile in May. That translates to hopping on the treadmill and running until I can’t anymore, or in the case of today, running until I’m out of time and have to do something else. I managed to pull a little over four miles, and I was happy with that. Now I need to work on my pace, which can’t be done with our treadmill.

I have finally separated a good treadmill from a not-so-good one…besides price. The good ones actually go faster than 10:00 pace. So I will have to wait til it warms up a little and I can run outside. But it does feel good to keep my running up through the winter. Not sure I’ve ever done that before.

And possibly the best news is that my runner’s knee doesn’t seem to be flaring up as much. I’m trying to keep my distance running to every other day and mix cardio and strength on the other days. That and ibuprofin seem to be helping a lot. Praise God.

By the way, who’s running with me? I’ve got a couple friends…I need a few more. And those of you who don’t run with me

? Should come be my cheerleaders ’cause I’m gonna need ’em!

Ok, I’ve devoted far too much of this to working out…on to new topics.

I’ve been in crazy, I-miss-Indo mode. The other day a friend who is still there told a story on facebook of driving her motorbike, hitting a bump, and her bags of groceries flew off the bike and landed in the river. And a nice, old, Indonesian grandpa-fisherman helped her get them out.

You all laugh…I smile.

And that story actually makes me MISS it.

Almost like I wish it had happened to me!

And all this missing Indo reminds me of home and all that it is. Just a year ago, we weren’t sure what home would look like for us. God was so good…and we got to stay.

We love it here. We are blessed times a million. But when I think of home, I remember that my heart will always have two earthly homes.

There is no way that Indonesia will ever leave my heart. I can rejoice all I want that my house is cockroach-free (HALLELUJAH!!!!) and that I don’t have little lizards popping out of my toaster.

That traffic is, for the most part, orderly, and I can usually get to my destination without stopping to wait for longer than a minute or two. That my grocery store has every possible food I could ever want…and the idea of getting by without brown sugar or Lucky Charms? Is no more.

And yet, the lessons I took away from Indonesia are still there. They have changed me…and are now part of who I am.

And so I guess the word home is relative…no matter if I own my house or not.

The good news? We own our house, and we’re really happy here. :)

Just a random tangent. :)

I’m thankful.

It hasn’t been an easy few weeks. Like I said, I’m learning to appreciate winter and the hidden growth that it brings. But at the same time, my heart is heavy and my eyes are puffy and red.

I’m learning that thing I mentioned yesterday. Trust.

I know He is GOOD. And I know that I can trust Him.

And when my heart aches, I can give it to Him, knowing He will hold it and heal it.

That amazes me sometimes.

No, it amazes me all the time.

Well, my coffee cup is empty, and I really should crash for the night.

Thanks for stopping by. You bless me. :)

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, church, coffee, friends, Indonesia, just life, Maelie, where I am
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