Mel’s Rules for Moving to Illinois

March 3, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I came across this today as I was sorting through old documents.

According to the last time I updated it, it was written two days after we moved here, on July 30, 2010. I suspect I was feeling lonely, Maelie was napping, and I needed something to do since we had no internet.

I smiled as I read through it…felt a little guilty, but mostly happy.

The way God provides is amazing…and reading this made me so very thankful for the blessings He’s given.

Oh, and I added my commentary ’cause I knew you’d want my reflections. 😉

Mel’s Rules for Moving to Illinois

1. Spend money on the bedroom. It is the place Tobin and I connect and share our most intimate moments. It is worth every single penny. Ok, ok so this one took quite awhile. But we did eventually follow through.

2. It is not wrong to have a most amazing kitchen, especially if it was already that way when we moved in…so don’t feel guilty about it. Success…I feel zero guilt and mostly love for my kitchen. Especially since there are no cockroaches hiding in the silverware drawer. :)

3. Take walks every day and meet my neighbors. (Plus I have that annoying baby weight I need to get rid of anyway…) We did take a lot of walks but that wasn’t really how we met our neighbors…they mostly came to say hi if we were outside. And the baby weight? Well, it took a lot more than walking! 😉

4. Don’t hide behind a closed door and wish for what I can’t have anymore. Thankfully this only happened for a few weeks before I was rescued by an incredible friend. I learned that, having an infant, it was very easy to hide but that I didn’t want to. And once I had a way to not hide, it was pretty easy to open the door.

5. Allow myself a Starbucks or Caribou once a week. Take Maelie and go, looking for someone to talk to. Don’t wait for someone else to initiate the conversation. I’ve definitely made a few friends in coffee shops…and I’ve probably allowed myself more than one coffee a week, too! I maintain that a coffee shop is a great place to find friends. :)

6. Make finding a good church a priority. Don’t sleep in on Sundays and “wait til next week”. (I laugh because there was no such thing as sleeping in ever with Maelie. I’m thankful that, after trying out a few places, God provided the best place for us. We love our church. :))

7. Post pictures of life for friends back in my other “homes”. I’m not a big picture-poster, but I do a decent job through the blog, I think. I’m still not great at keeping in touch, but if someone writes me, I will almost always respond.

8. Update my status on Facebook more often. Epic. Fail. However, I am not a person who wants the world to know what I ate for breakfast or who I’m currently annoyed with. I update it when there’s something to share. :)

9. Find a mom’s group, preferably one that meets at parks so the kids can play. Sunshine is good…especially when I haven’t seen it for several weeks.

LOVE. My mom’s group kinda found me…and I’m forever grateful. Bonus…it’s a mom’s Bible study, which I needed and wanted and was scared to hope for. AND they meet at parks in the summer. :) I love how God gives us desires we’re scared to admit we have.

10. Crying is ok…for a little while. But part of moving on is accepting that things have changed. I did cry for awhile…and the day I decided to like it here was the day I wasn’t sad anymore. I decided that change can bring some of the biggest blessings God has for us, if we’re willing to accept it.

11. True friends will always be there, whether I live down the block or across the world. Don’t be afraid to make some new ones—the old ones aren’t going anywhere. Enough said. :)

12. Give myself some grace in this time of transition. Stop expecting perfection from myself and others. I don’t know how I did on this one…but I know I’m thankful for the people who love me despite my imperfections.

:)

God is GOOD.

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, blessings, culture shock, encouragement, friends, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Thinking… (and Writing…)

February 25, 2012 by · 3 Comments

Do you ever have those moments when you type a word…and you KNOW you spelled it right, but it LOOKS so very wrong?

That’s the way the word “thinking” looks right now. Please assure me that I spelled it right. Pretty please?!

Ok, moving on…

I had every intention of sitting down with my mug of blueberry tea (still fightin’ off that cold…) and having a little chat with you.

That was thirty minutes ago.

The tea is gone, I ate a peppermint patty (by the way, those don’t go so well with blueberry tea), helped hubby pick out a couple trip necessities on Amazon…

And didn’t write.

But that’s ok…I’ll just write now. (And maybe refill my mug because, you know, there’s nothing I’d rather do than be up all night going to the bathroom. Ok, ok, TMI.)

I’ve been pretty cool with being kind of whatever for this trip. We haven’t planned much other than hotel, which is typical Mel-Tobin travel style. We find adventures without looking for them, so all will be good as long as there’s a beach, a place to get coffee, and some type of public transportation in which I won’t be sat on by a random stranger. (Long Indo story/memory.)

I’ve hit a couple thrift stores for some clothes that fit, borrowed some more from my most amazing friend who is excited that her clothes are going to Spain, (I’m happy to oblige) :) and hopefully that’ll be enough. I must say, though, it’s very difficult to pack for a trip in which the daily temperature can vary from 40-75. Hello, layers. Hopefully I will get a bit of color, even if a tan really isn’t at the top of the list for my trip goals. 😉

But the one thing I kind of freaked out about…is my hair. (Yes, I’m vain. I said it, you don’t have to.) I have fretted more-than-slightly about what on earth I’m going to do about my hair and it’s overly-frizzy-curly tendencies in humid climates. (Or even in not-so…) That’s because my current straightener isn’t dual voltage.

Amazon Prime to the rescue!

I actually needed a new straightener anyway, and we found a great one with good reviews for an awesome price. And since we’re prime members, free shipping. :) Hee HEE!

I can rest easy that at least my hair will look good in all the photos.

I’m really not as vain as I sound…I just firmly believe in doing my hair before going out in public. :) Even my hubby admitted that I’m mostly not high maintenance. (Mel breathes a sigh of relief…as she puts on eyeliner before going to bed.)

Kidding. Completely.

Gosh, what was IN that tea?!?!

We really need to move on to another subject.

I could tell you a funny story about how my hubby just came downstairs at 10:35 p.m. in order to teach me how to properly hang up my pants that I’m wearing tomorrow. Admittedly, I’m a clothes-thrower. I’ll try on a few things usually before deciding what to wear, and they usually end up in a pile to be sifted through and hung up again…which I do maybe twice a week.

I just figured since they were already off the hanger, I could just leave them there until tomorrow. I guess not. 😉

It was kind of cute how he came downstairs…and kind of annoying, too. (Which I let him know. :)) In the end, though…success. I now know how to hang up my pants the right way. (Just so you know I’m still chuckling at the entire situation…)

I love him. Honestly, we’ve had a pretty up and down few months. I’d be lying if I told you that being married has been a big, happy fairy tale. But life is good. I’m learning a lot about love. We’re laughing more. And we’re learning that “us” is just as important as “Mel” and “Tobin”.

God has been giving me little pieces of JOY each day, despite some of the heartaches I’ve shared lately. And I want to share this one because I mentioned it yesterday…my friend made it through surgery. She did well, and though recovery will be long, the doctor’s are optimistic. Praise Him. :)

I’ve been spending more time talking to Him…just pieces of my day spent telling Him my heart. It’s good. I know I have a lot to learn about prayer, but I’m thankful that I can just talk with Him and cry to Him.

Well, tomorrow morning is going to come early…I need to crash.

G’nite, friends. :)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, just life, travel, where I am

Morning Thoughts

February 21, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

It is an extremely rare day that I blog before noon. Even rarer, before 9 a.m.

Mae is up for the morning, having her breakfast, watching her “Melmo”. (Elmo ;))

I’ve showered and am sitting down with a rather strange combination of morning goodies…my Airborne drink to (hopefully) keep on keepin’ this cold away; my oatmeal, with chocolate chips of c

ourse; and a cup of coffee. (With this amazing York Peppermint Patty creamer, since I know you’re all wondering!)

I had a good chat with a friend yesterday that provided a pretty enlightening moment for me.

See, I tend to be a burden carrier.

My heart takes the hurts and burdens of others, carries them around…and that eventually starts wearing me down as a person.

There are a lot of people in my life right now who are hurting. I want to be there for them. I ache for them. I cry for them. I lose sleep for them.

It’s the way my heart works.

Some people are easily able to give their burdens to the Father…I struggle with that. I want to but often find it hard to trust.

I processed that with her a little yesterday and left the conversation realizing that there’s a difference between letting burdens weigh me down and having compassion like Jesus did.

Last night I got a phone call from a dear friend, and she shared some heartbreaking news. I think I felt my heart break, and I could feel that I was weighing myself down once again. My mind raced, and I wondered what I could do to help…and her response was simple.

Please, just pray. It’s what we need right now.

Prayer. Giving it to God. Laying those things at His feet, knowing and trusting completely that He has it all figured out.

I am working on that…on not carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. On giving things to Him.

Still allowing myself to ache and cry…and love completely.

Because that’s compassion.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

I love His promises, and this morning, this one is precious.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, friends, just life, prayer, what I'm learning, where I am

A Reminder

February 20, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I love this song…and it was a good reminder to me today.

:)

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, where I am

Stretched

February 2, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Today I pulled 3.5 miles on my treadmill, which is pretty great considering the ridiculous situation with my knee. (It hates me.)

But before I run, I always take a few minutes to stretch. If I don’t, I pay for it by the second mile and can’t go nearly as far. I have to take the time to stretch out my legs…otherwise I hurt. I mean, I hurt anyway, but I have far more endurance when I take a few minutes to stretch those muscles.

I think God is doing the same thing to me.

He’s got me in this season of life that I’d rather not experience.

You see, I like spring and summer. I like it when things are turning green and flowers are appearing and the sun is shining. I like taking walks and drinking coffee on the porch and playing at the park.

I like those happy times.

Yet I’m not so much a fan of winter…when things are dead and buried…often being repurposed, but still.

Ugh.

The gray, the wet, the slush that too often follows a beautiful snowfall. De. Press. Ing.

I’ve been hanging out in winter.

For some reason there are things God is asking of me right now…ways that He is stretching me.

He’s stretching my Trust in Him.

He’s stretching my Obedience to Him.

He’s stretching my Faith in Him.

And if we’re being honest here, it hurts.

There are days when I feel like my faith is crumbling to the ground, moments when I don’t feel like trusting, even those times when I don’t want to obey.

Times when I feel like I’m dying more than I’m living.

But just like those stretches that are so necessary before a good run, I have to believe that He’s taking my heart and turning it into something better.

That He’s taking me and using me for something greater than I could have imagined.

That He’s making me a little more like Jesus.

If I’m willing to endure the stretching.

And I am.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, what I'm learning, where I am

Don’t Ya Love It…

January 31, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

…when your awesome, thought provoking, blog post for the night completely messes up the formatting of the entire blog and you have to delete it

?

NO clue what I did wrong, but yeah. Good times.

Bummer, ’cause I was excited to tell you all

about everything I’m reading/planning to read… all that stuff.

(Yeah, that’s what I wrote about…but it had some fun Mel humor in there, too.) 😉

Honestly, it’s been a cruddy week. I wish it was full of smiles and laughter, but I feel like the gray that chased the sun away this afternoon kinda matches the funk I’ve been in for a few days.

Looking for some JOY tonight… I think

I know what I need to do to find it.

We’ve been studying the Beth Moore book on the fruits of the Spirit in Thursday morning Bible study, and honestly, they’re all thought provoking. But this past week, the one on the faithfulness of God really stuck out and made an impression. I don’t remember her exact words, but she basically eluded to the fact that when something in life is hard, God will often deliver us through it rather than from it.

He’s teaching me. I’m learning. I don’t know if I’m learning enough yet, but I know He’s doing things. Changing my heart. Making me a little more like Him.

It hasn’t been a great week, but it does encourage my heart to know that my Father, the Giver of all things good, loves me, cares for me, wants what’s best for me.

And is faithful to me.

Just a little thought tonight. Hey, tomorrow’s Wednesday. Halfway there.

Love you all.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

Being Held

January 26, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So yesterday’s mail brought a new ch

apter in Maelie’s life…or at least, the beginning of a new chapter.

The POTTY CHAIR!

(Goodness…I don’t know when I’ll ever be ready for this thing we call potty training!)

Right now, it just sits in the downstairs bathroom, and she’ll sit on it, play with it, haul it into the living room. You know, the things 19 month-olds are supposed to do with a potty chair. 😉

Tonight she was sitting on it and saying, “Potty, potty!” So we did what any intelligent, sure-their-daughter-is-a-potty-training-prodigy, parents do…we removed the diaper and plopped her, cute little naked butt and all, on the chair.

She thought it w as gre

at and giggled and squealed for a couple minutes.

(But, alas, no actual potty.) As we were trying to pick her up to put her diaper back on, she fought us and ended up pinching her finger on something.

Oh, she cried. Squealed. Howled.

She. Could. Not. Be. Comforted.

I finally managed to get the diaper back on, her pants pulled up…and I held her close as she cried. The tears flo wed for several minutes, and

we ended up in the front room on the couch snuggling under a blanket as we shared a pillow.

It’s where she felt safe.

Eventually the pain (must have) lessened because she hopped down for a minute to go play in her kitchen…only to return, running to mommy’s arms, where she snuggled up again for several minutes.

This scenario repeated for probably half an hour…each time, she’d come running to me and want to be held.

What a beautiful picture. And reminder.

It’s been a couple months.

And there is far more meaning to those previous five words than most of you know.

To say it’s been hard, difficult, challenging…only scratches the surface.

Heart-wrenching, tear-stained…are far more accurate.

But those snuggles tonight reminded me that just as Maelie found comfort in her mommy’s arms, I can also always, always find comfort in my Father’s arms.

Even if I leave them to go try something on my own, I know I can always return to be held.

Loved.

Comforted.

When I talk about the last two months, I also need to interject that things are getting better. There’s no such thing as a perfect day, but I have a Hope that is certain…and that? Is comfort. :)

My Father is so very Good, and He held me and loved me exactly as I needed during that time. And I know He always will whenever I need Him to.

That’s incredible.

What love.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, Maelie, where I am

Blog Reflection, #3: Encouragement

January 19, 2012 by · 2 Comments

So when I hop over to one

of my favorite blogs, I go for one of two reasons…

…the writer encourages me, challenges

me, or makes me think.

…the author has the ability to make me laugh and brighten my day.

I hope that’s true of my blog, at least most of the time.

Some days I share from the depths of my heart; other days, I tell you how much coffee I’ve had or what I ate for breakfast. Some days I’ve been laughing and smiling all day, others I cry

through my entire post.

Regardless of those things, I want barefootmel to be an encouragement and a place to smile, laugh, and cry.

Well, aside from the really, really weird days I have. Those could potentially be the days that you begin to read, roll

your eyes, and leave. 😉 (That’s ok…trust me.)

I seriously can’t believe I have five days (after today) left before my year is up. It kinda feels like a death, though I can assure you I’ll still be writing multiple times a week.

But honestly, it will feel really strange to have the choice of whether or not to blog each day. Yikes. Decisions…

I’m thankful for the chance to share some encouragement here and

there over

the last year.

And thankful for the encourgement I’ve gotten from others, too.

Nothing too profound, but definitely worth reflecting on.

G’nite. :)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, where I am, writing

Just Liked This…

January 18, 2012 by · 1 Comment

I’m not big on quotes, especially when I’ m not even sure of the original source.

(But I totally swiped this one from a friend who posted in on Facebook today, and I know if she was reading this, she wouldn’ t mind a

t all. ;))

I just liked this…it gave me a lot to think about.

“The most beautiful smiles hide the deepest secrets, the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears, and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.”

I don’t know that it’s completely true, but it did remind me today…

That life can sometimes be hard, but we

can still choose to be a blessing to others.

That people all around me are hurting…and often hiding it.

It’s up to me to love…and to be Jesus to them.

That I should pray for opportunities to love… and take them.

That’s all tonight, friends.

It sure gave me a lot to think on.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
John 13:34, NIV

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, where I am

Crying Out to Him

September 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

Maelie’s naps have kind of been hit or miss lately.

This week was ok…she napped plenty but usually woke up once or twice, crying, and would then go back to sleep.

Today she went to sleep around 1:30 in the afternoon, and other than crying for a few minutes, was out immediately.

I figured she was so tired she’d sleep for hours.

So I was surprised when she woke up around 2:00…screaming. And it wasn’t an I-completely-protest-this-nap cry…it was an I-need-to-be-held cry.

I went up to her nursery, where I found her peeking at me over the rail of her crib, tears streaming down her cheeks, arms held out to me.

(Yes, it did melt my heart, since I know you’re all wondering!)

I picked her up, and she immediately snuggled as close to me as possible. I sat down in the chair with her and rocked her for awhile, singing a few songs, while she held me and cuddled up.

And I have to admit that as much as I was sad that she was upset, I absolutely loved that she wanted to be held and cuddled and close.

For that moment, I was it.

A few minutes later, I kissed her, put

her in her crib, and she went right back to sleep for another two hours.

(YAY!)

But as she was sleeping, I couldn’t help but think through what

had just happened and draw a parallel.

Just as Mae wanted me…and only me…I wonder how often I want my Father.

And only Him.

It is so easy to let the people in our lives be it.

To let them be the ones who listen to us when we’re hurting, laugh with us when life is just good, cry with us when it’s not. And there’s a time and a place for that…many times and places, in fact. That’s why God gave us friends.

But He desires that we treat Him just as Maelie treated me today…because He is just that.

He is It.

The One Who can comfort and love and listen and care… no matter what.

Just where I am tonight.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, encouragement, just life, Maelie, where I am
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