I am not the most stellar book-reader.
But my daughter?
Is very,
very cute when she is being read to.
Enough said. 
Missing Moments
October 19, 2011 by · 2 Comments
It’s barely early afternoon, and I already know I won’t be gettingĀ the Mommy Award today.
Tuesdays and Wednesdays are busy…and stressful. Because I leave for work at 4:30, I have to make sure that Mae and Tobin have something to eat for dinner…and pb & j is really only ok every other week or so.
They like REAL dinner…can’t say I blame them too much. š
I’ve also been slightly procrastinating a blog post that I need to finish by tonight to keep myself on track…and I haven’t found the time to string the words together yet.
And in between getting all of that ready and spending all day with my girl, I’ve found myself losing my patience with herĀ
so much more quickly.
I think part of it is Mae’s age, but I KNOW that most of it is me.
Mae is dying to be close
to me all the time and wants to help me do everything. Her idea of being helpful
? Throwing EVERYTHING into the kitchen garbage.
No matter what I try, she just can’t seem to understand that not everything belongs in the trash can…she just loves to “help”.
It’s almost as cute as it is annoying, and I truly think she’s trying to be helpful, but after fishing things out of it over and over all morning, I finally lost it.
And I yelled.
The look on her face said everything, and I knew I’ d completely messe
d up.
I took a few deep breaths, counted, and went over to her.
I love kids and how quickly they forget.
She held her arms up, and when I picked her up she gave me a hug. I sat down with her on the couch and talked to her about staying out of
the garbage.
I know she doesn’t get it yet.
But that’ s not the point.
I also asked her to forgive me and prayed with her.
I know she doesn’t getĀ that yet, either, but that’s really not the point.
I’m finding that on busy days when I have an agenda and so many things I feel like I need to accomplish, I miss out on the moments that make up a day.
My girl is 16 months old, and she’s already growing up too fast.
She’s down for a nap now, and she’ll probably wake up just before I leave for work.
I’ll get a few minutes with her, and then I won’t see her again until tomorrow morning.
Another day gone.
And how many of those moments did I take today? I sat down to read a few books with her, I played the stacking toy with her, I took a (very, very) short walk outside with her.
But I don’t w ant to miss
those precious hugs, those sweet giggles, those times I can’t get back…any of them…because I’ m too focused on
making dinner or finishing a blog post or making a grocery list.
I don’t want to miss a day.
A moment.
A second.
Tobin and Maelie might have to order a pizza more often, but at least I’ll know that I spent my days in the best possible way I could.
Because I didn’t miss any moments.
A Reminder
October 8, 2011 by · 2 Comments
A short but sweet thought tonight.
We hired a b
abysitter tonight.
(Two, actually.) We had plans and these girls came highly recommended, so they
came over and spent four hours with Maelie. (Well, two of them she was sleeping, but still.)
As I was driving them ho me tonight,
they kept saying, “Your daughter is amazing.”
That made my heart smile.
But inside, I thought, I know.
I know how amazing she is, but sometimes I forget to look at the little things that make her just that.
Like…
her cheesy, scrunchy-face smile,
her still-slightly-off-balance toddle as she runs toward me,
watching her chase the dogs, giggling as loudly as possible, (it’s WAY too cute ;))
her sweet personality and love for everyone,
her desire to be close to us all the time,
the way she grins and squeals when she sees us first thing in the morning,
the way she’s growing and changing and learning,
the beautiful creation of God that she is,
and so,
so much more.
It was a good reminder to me tonight.
I am so thankful for my girl and all she is.
Crying Out to Him
September 3, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
Maelie’s naps have kind of been hit or miss lately.
This week was ok…sheĀ napped plenty but usually woke up once or twice, crying, and would then go back to sleep.
Today she went to sleep around 1:30 in the afternoon, and other than crying for a few minutes, was out immediately.
I figured she was so tired she’d sleep for hours.
So I was surprised when she woke up around 2:00…screaming. And it wasn’t an I-completely-protest-this-nap cry…it was an I-need-to-be-held cry.
I went up to her nursery, where I found her peeking at me over the rail of her crib, tears streaming down her cheeks, arms held out to me.
(Yes, it did melt my heart, since I know you’re all wondering!)
I picked her up, and she immediately snuggled as close to me as possible. I sat down in the chair with her and rocked her for awhile, singing a few songs, while she held me andĀ cuddled up.
And I have to admit that as much as I was sad that she was upset, I absolutely loved that she wanted to be held and cuddled and close.
For that moment, I was it.
A few minutes later, I kissed her, put
her in her crib, and she went right back to sleep for another two hours.
(YAY!)
But as she was sleeping, I couldn’t help but think through what
had just happened and draw a parallel.
Just as Mae wanted me…and only me…I wonder how often I want my Father.
And only Him.
It is so easy to let the people in our lives be it.
To let them be the ones who listen to us when we’re hurting, laugh with us when life is just good, cry with us when it’s not. And there’s a time and a place for that…many times and places, in fact. That’s why God gave us friends.
But He desires that we treat Him just as Maelie treated me today…because He is just that.
He is It.
The One Who can comfort and love and listen and care… no matter what.
Just where I am tonight.
A Shoe-Loving, Purse-Toting Girl
September 1, 2011 by · 2 Comments
From the time I knew I w anted
kids, I wanted a daughter.
I dreamed about having a little girl to play princess with, dress in copious amounts of pink, and someday, giggle about secrets and crushes.
And of course, a little girl who would love all things purses
and flip flops.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was actually pretty sure I was having a boy. I wasn’t sad about that
thought at all, but my heart really wanted a girl. The day we went in to find out the gender of our baby, I was so nervous to find out whether we were having a Maelie or a Finn that my blood pressure shot up.
True story. (And yes, now you know what our boy name would have been.Ā That nameĀ is no longer on the list so I can tell you that.
:))
So when we found out that baby was a girl, besides NOT BELIEVING THE DOCTOR, I was pretty stinkin’ excited.
Once she was born, the dressing-her-in-pink thing could happen, and that was pretty much it…the princess stuff and the purses andĀ flip flops would have to wait.Ā And it’s funny…even with the pink, there was some but not really a lot.
This week, Mae made my Mama heart smile, though.
She picked up her sandals and tried to put them on her feet.
Then she spent the next several minutes going through my shoes upstairs (I DON’T have that many, for the record…) and bringing them to me so she could put them on my feet. It was too cute.
And she even started showing interest in purses (sort of) by “borrowing” someones backpack at the McD’s play place today and
toting it around like she was going to school.
Backpack, purse…they’re related, right?
MyĀ girl loves shoes. And she totes purses.
She is definitely my daughter.
Infinitely Mae
August 24, 2011 by · 1 Comment
I failed mommyhood today.
Like, an epic failure…it was not pretty.
I’m not sure why…but I was frustrated, annoyed, not at ALL patient, and almost-mean… to my daughter.
I hadn’t seen her most of the morning because I was busy with something and Tobin had the morning off. I literally spent an hour with her, and all of a sudden she was just…difficult.
Translation: she was ONE.
It was hot, she was getting into everything, and so I thought that was the perfect opportunity for her to play in her pool. We suited her up, I plopped her in, and all was good.
For two minutes.
Then she decided to play the game, I-love-to-get-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-and-in-and-out-of-my-pool.
40 times.
In between those times, she’d take handfuls of rocks, play with them, try to stick one (or more) in her mouth. You know, the fun things that one year olds do to drive their mommies crazy.
And somewhere in there I just got annoyed.
I had been trying to watch my girl and catch up with a friend on the phone at the same time…and Mae was making that hard.
I gave up after about twenty minutes and took her inside, gaveĀ her an afternoon bottle, and put her down for her nap.
And then I felt horrible.
What was it that Mae was doing SO wrong? Nothing, really. Other than being herself.
She woke up around 4:15, which gave me time to play with her before I had to leave for my hair appointment.
As I was soaking up the Mae-just-woke-up-and-wants-to-cuddle moments, I started to make up a song for her.
And some where in the song, the words, And you are infinitely Mae, came out of my mouth.
She giggled, I smiled…and then I realized how true those words were.
It’s exactly who she is… the best possible Mae in
the world.
There is no other person in the world who can be Maelie better than she can.
Sure, she will do things that get on my nerves.
Of course she’sĀ going to get into trouble…she’s one year old and curious.
Yes, she will put rocks in her mouth occasionally because that’s just what kids do.
And every day, she will melt my heart because she’s my girl.
We’ll have days like today sometimes.
When they happen, I need to do two things.
Work on replacing my impatience with love. And have more grace for myself, too.
I love my Mae… and all that she is.
Even on days like today.
Just Mae…and the Cool That She Is
August 18, 2011 by · 1 Comment
I love my girl…and I blog about her often.
I do spend the majority of my time with her, so I guess this is forgivable, right? š
The past few days I have j ust
fallen in love with her even more.
I’m not sure if it’s because she’s becoming more independent and more able to reciprocate love…or maybe it’s just because she keeps getting cuter!
The things she says (or tries to say), the things she does, the way she’s becoming this cool, little person…it’s just amazing to watch.
On Sunday and Monday we had several good walks and lots of time outside, and watching her move and explore was just fun…the few steps turned into many, many more.
She adds new words (or at least things that sound like words!) to her vocabulary every day.
She barks at our dogs, which totally cracks me up.
She sees certain neighbors outside and crawls (or toddles) toward them while shouting at them in her Maelie-talk.
Tuesday we had a date with a friend to get Starbucks and walk to Grafelman Park (our favorite!). It’s an outing we take at least every couple of
weeks, and as I sat there and chatted with my friend, I loved watching Mae explore even more.
She’s not afraid of anything, including eating wood chips…can’t say I’m too thrilled with that one! I noticed it again today outside in the yard as she was reaching for a not-very-small bug… total curiosity, zero fear.
I stopped for a moment and thought, My daughter is so COOL!
I love how the qualities she displays mirror exactly what Christ meant when he talked about having the faith of a child…innocent, pure, curious, accepting, willing-to-take-risks.
It’s amazing what children can teach us.
Just where I am with mommyhood…loving it even more and loving my Maelie-girl more than ever, too.
Blessed.
Tonight…
August 7, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
w e w
ent out on a family date to On the Border.
Usually our “family dates” consist of the Sonic Drive-Thru, or if we’re really feeling brave, we sit in our car an eat ice cream!
The big time, I know.
After our slightly-less-than-romantic anniversary dinner on Wednesday, I think Tobin and I were both wanting to go some plac
e we knew
we liked.
The problem is, we took Mae.
And don’t get me wrong…I have the most wonderful daughter ever. I love that girl.
But taking her to dinner with us
? To a sit-down-and-order-and-wait-for-your-food place
?
Um, yeah.
So she actually wasn’t too bad before the food came, other than semi-consistently letting out the new high-pitched squeal she has discovered.
(It’s not cute…it’s ear-splitting.)
When Mae’s taco (with extra tomatoes…very important) came, we cut it up and gave it to her. She loves tacos (and tomatoes).
What did she do
?
Started throwing…not dropping…it all over.
Then we tried rice.
Even worse.
It was the most un-peaceful meal we’ve had in a long time.
Not sure what was up with her or her lack of On The Border lovin’.
MY tacos were good.
And Tobin’s burrito was the size of Texas. Close, anyway.
But there must’ve been something not quite so wonderful about Maelie’s dinner.
I w as frustr
ated a bit at the time, but it IS a memory.
That toothy, silly, ornery grin she would flash as she pitched the rice here and there… was kinda cute.
And she does make me smile…and make me thankful to be her mommy.
I just don’t think we’ll be taking her back to On the Border anytime soon. š
My Funny Girl
July 20, 2011 by · Leave a Comment
From the beginning, I h ave h
ad a sweet girl.
And a slightly sn
arky one.
I mean, just look at this picture…taken the day after she was born.
She’s already sayin’, “Hey…I’ve got my own attitude!”
We totally fell in love with this photo…if you got her baby announcement, you may recognize it. We just love how it shows her personality so early.
Today, she let me know that she’s still got it, too.
Often, after I change her diaper, we’ll go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, and she’ll talk to her reflection.
Sometimes I’ll talk to her, and we usually end up giggling together.
Today:
Me: Who’s my favorite girl
?
Mae: (high-pitched squeal/giggle)
Me: Are you mommy’s favorite girl?
Mae: No!
Ha.
Ha.
I still laugh.
I love that girl.
Marshmallow Musings…and Some Other Stuff, Too
June 30, 2011 by · 1 Comment
Ok, so tonight is a first.
I’m blogging outside by the firepit.
Just cause I can.
I’m not drinking coffee or Diet Pepsi tonight, even though it’s Thursday. If I had something in my hand, it would probably just be water anyway because I haven’t had enough today.
I’m not going to be able to stay out very long, though, because I forgot to plug in my computer and I have exactly 17 minutes of battery left. Bummer.
Oh, well. I can get a good start, at least.
So the title of this post is a little odd, but there is some truth to it.
The other night, Tobin and I were roasting marshmallows on these cute little roasting sticks he bought for me in the dollar section at Target. Really, they’re pretty cool.
Anyway, each time, we would put two marshmallows on, roast them (he is more patient and likes them brown; I stick them straight into the flame and burn ’em good…mmmm), and then stuff the gooey, melty, sugary, yumminess into our mouths in one huge bite.
That’s when I kinda had an Aha! moment.
What if we just roasted ONE marshmallow each time? We’d still get the gooey, melty, sugary, yummy bite…it just wouldn’t be quite as big.
Deep, I know.
But it would
? Save half the calories.
I’ll take it.
And then tonight I roasted a few more and found myself thinking about how cool marshmallows are. I mean, after I’ve eaten that amazing, gooey concoction…there is still marshmallow cream left on the stick!
I amaze myself. (And probably annoy you…haha!)
So eventually I’ll move on to another topic.
I mean, really, we can only converse about marshmallows so long.
But FYI…I don’t like S’mores. I’m weird, I know.
I got my hair colored tonight.
That’s a really good thing because I couldn’t believe how much gray was popping through. Seriously, I am not quite 33…how on earth did I go gray already
? I was going back and forth on whether to cut it or not…I’ve kinda been in growing-out mode since January with a couple chops in between.
I almost had her cut it off again.
Then I decided to be brave and NOT do that.
She did thin it out, though, which my hair needs, oh, every five minutes. Yeah, I’m blessed with gray AND with super thick hair. I like what she did to it…she diffused it and we loaded on the product…and it’s actually pretty cute. Kind of one of those hair days you want to freeze and have every day because you know you won’t have it again anytime soon.
Why is it that no matter what kind of hair we (as in women) have, we’re never satisfied? At least I’m not.
Since I will be perfect in Heaven, I REALLY can’t wait to see what my hair looks like there! š
It’s been a pretty rough week with Maelie. Nothing that’s her fault…I think she’s still getting over the roseola or at least the effects of the fever/rash. Poor little girl. Yesterday was especially rough; today was not too bad, but she didn’t nap much. I think one of the hardest things as a mom is to know that my girl isn’t feeling well…and I can’t do anything about it.
I’ve had so many frustrating moments with her this week, but a lot of those come from the fact that I just can’t do anything.
And I need to make sure I don’t direct that frustration at her because that’s not right.
Oh, the things I keep learning. Remind me to give myself some grace. Ok?
And a friend gently reminded me today to focus on the good moments in between the bad…and Mae and I definitely had a few sweet moments today. Like when she sat and cuddled on my lap for several minutes at the park or when she woke up from her nap in a wonderful mood and we spent over half an hour outside together swinging and going for a walk….and there were lots of smiles and laughs then.
I love my girl so much. And I’m thankful for her unconditional love
for me on the days I totally blow it as a mom.
I am so thankful for God’s grace and His mercies that are new every morning. (Cause I need ’em!)
So eventually in this conversation, the house will come up because it always does.
And this time?
I’ll tell you about the fantastic birthday gift my husband got on Tuesday…a phone call saying that we got the house.
We got the house!!!!!
(Should it be in bold?)
We got the house!!!!!
We’re still figuring out a couple small details but as of now, we’ll be closing on it by August 1st.
To say I feel blessed is a huge understatement.
Right now, I’m just so thankful for my Father Who hears what my heart desires…and cares.
Pretty sure I can’t top that one, so I’ll end this for tonight.
Thank you to each of you who prayed for us while we waited.
And tried to trust.
He is SO Good.
