Today, I’m going to give thanks for Seasons, by re-posting something I wrote a few years ago.

It’s thought-provoking and was a good reminder to me as I try to give thanks today for a migraine that has all but wiped me out. It will pass, too, though.

I love how endless tears and sleepless nights over a failed adoption turned into something so unexpectedly, amazingly beautiful…in the form of a little girl named Maelie.

We are so blessed.

Enjoy re ading

a little piece of our lives from not so long ago.

Seasons
(from the March 2009 archives of the blog we kept in Indonesia)

I’ve hesitated posting for awhile because I don’t want to ramble on and on about the same things all the time. Sometimes God puts us in a season for awhile, and while things don’t change a lot, the lessons are still there to learn. And I am learning a lot.  Here are a few things, in no particular order.

Stillness. Why is it that we always want to move around and make noise? It seems like, in my mind, I’m always thinking of how I can do things better or how right I am about something.

Silence. (There is a difference between this point and the last one.) I am a Facebook, e-mail, communication junkie. But for the last month, I have all but stayed away from most forms of it. I check it occasionally, but I haven’t replied to most people, unless it was necessary. If you sent me an e-mail or a message, please don’t be offended if I didn’t reply. Your words probably made me cry or smile (or both) and gave me something to process. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and want you to know that it didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. When I can find the words, I will write you back.

Empathy. I’ve been following the blog of a friend of a friend. She and her husband lost their baby girl at 39+ weeks about a year and a half ago. I know that our situations are vastly different, but gaining her insight on grief has been eye-opening and healing for me. I, in no way, compare this loss to theirs, yet I feel that God has used her words over and over to show me that He is faithful, that He will bring healing, and that despite loss, He is still God.

Meaning. Processing this kind of pain has brought new meaning to who I want to be.

I am at an interesting point in life, anyway, with leaving the classroom, which has brought emotions that are difficult to explain. As I contemplate being a stay-at-home wife (not a mother, which I was hoping for), I have realized that I will have quite a bit of free time, and I don’t want to waste it. I have been praying and thinking about the abilities I have, and I think God’s next purpose for me is simple…spending time with local people, just building relationships. I love Indonesian people. They are beautiful and so kind. I have some options, so please pray for open doors.

I love the song Nichole Nordeman sings called Every Season. I feel like I’ve been stuck in winter, but I know that spring is coming–it may just take a bit longer than I was hoping for.

me than I can ever express.

“Every evening sky, an invitation
to trace the patterned stars.
And early in July, a celebration
for freedom that is ours.

And I notice You in children’s games,
in those who watch them from the shade.

Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder;
You are summer.

And even when the trees have just surrendered
to the harvest time,
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
and sending us inside.
Still I notice you when change begins,
and I am braced for colder winds.

I will offer thanks for what has been and what’s to come;
You are autumn.

And everything in time and under heaven
finally falls asleep.

Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
shivers underneath.
And still I notice you when branches crack,
and in my breath on frosted glass.

Even, now, in death you open doors for life to enter;
You are winter.

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced,
Teaching us to breathe.
And what was frozen through is newly purposed,
Turning all things green.

So it is with You and how You make me new
with every season’s change.
And so it will be as You are recreating me,
Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring.”