Post-Weekend Chatter

Weekends have been kind of quiet lately…and I almost didn’t write today.

There’s nothing crazy or too-interesting happening in life (well, other than the random ice storm that showed up yesterday and has since made a slushy, sloppy, swimming pool in our yard) but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

Whatever it is, my heart has been pretty silent the last few days. That in particular seems slightly out of character, but it is what it is. :)

I’ve been trying to put more focused energy into writing my book, and the draft is getting there, one story at a time. I have to admit that some of the stories are making this book more and more painful to write.

I started with the easy stuff. I don’t cry over things like remembering the time I ate a baby octopus in one bite or the first time I tried durian. Those things bring happy smiles…though, along with them, perhaps a slight gag reflex. πŸ˜‰

It’s the stories of painful-chiseling, pride-crushing, and relationship-breaking that make me cry. Says the girl who sobbed all over her keyboard at Starbucks last Wednesday night. Twice.

I’ve got a lot of stories that will make you laugh, but there are a few that will make you cry, too. And as I’m pounding them out one by one, it’s coming together. I am so, so close to the halfway point, which symbolizes a lot for me. It means I’m actually writing a book.

Wowza. :)

I’ve been going through Holley Gerth’s The Do-What-You-Can Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better, and I’m following one of her awesome suggestions. (Actually, I’m following quite a few of them, but I especially liked this one.) πŸ˜‰

A reward for reaching a goal.

See? See Mel’s reward? Do you SEE????

Of course you do. πŸ˜‰

This is my Mel-gets-to-use-this-when-she-gets-to-the-halfway-point purse! :) (Special thanks to my dad for the Christmas money. ;)) The deal to myself is that this purse hangs where I can see it, but I have to reach the halfway point in my draft before I’m allowed to put anything in it and use it.

I kind of want to point out the incredible self-control I am currently demonstrating… πŸ˜‰

The halfway point for me is 26 chapters/short stories AND 25,000 words. I’m close in the chapters department but behind with the word count, so I have some tweaking to do.

But on to other things because I’m really supposed to save my book-talking for Tuesdays. :)

The other exciting thing in our lives (though you will not finding me jumping for joy over it) is that we are potty training. Again.

But as of late Monday morning, it is going far better than any other attempt.

I am motivated.

She hates having her diaper changed, and truth-be-told…I am growing to hate changing them.

She is preregistered for PK-3 for August…I know! We won’t dwell on this one or I may sob (again) all over the keyboard. (Prerequisite: Must. Be. Potty. Trained.) And? It would be lovely if she could attend VBS in June…which she will love and for which she must, again, be potty trained.

My biggest motivation is, perhaps, that she is almost too big for her size 5 diapers. While I’m already tired of buying them, I’m even less excited about the fact that for a box of size 6…you get 30ish less diapers for the same price.

Hence…we are hard-core potty training for a few mornings this week. (And stuck at home until Thursday morning, should any of you like to bless me with your presence to provide some much-needed socialization. :))

The bright side to my Monday (besides the extra large bag of M&M’s used as Maelie’s reward…of which I’ve eaten far more than she has…) is that I get to hang with this girl.

I adore her. Insanely.

Even on potty training days. :)

Happy Monday, all! Hugs. :)

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Again

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Again

I pick her up by her armpits and swing her high in the air.

The goal is as high as my muscles can handle…and probably even more to achieve the loudest, most exuberant, overjoyed, squeal possible.

It’s a new game we started about a month ago, and she really can’t get enough of it.

When I’ve given her a few good swings and gotten those little feet way up over my head, I give my muscles a break.

But this sweet, two-year old girl? Doesn’t always understand the word, rest. :)

Again! Again! More, mommy!

If my muscles aren’t completely dying, I’ll usually indulge her pleas a few more times before I need her to give me an honest break.

Even though she’ll still beg me to swing her up into the air again.

One more time. Always one more time. πŸ˜‰

Sometimes I think about my relationship with God and how I am such the same way with Him.

He asks worship. A life of obedience. Simple praise.

He doesn’t ask for it once…He asks for it Again. And Again. And Again.

As He should.

And often…I will excuse myself with the simple fact that I’m too tired to read my Bible and spend quality time with Him…the kind that has been lacking during my busy day. It’s ok to miss today, I tell myself. I’ll do better tomorrow.

But it isn’t a once, whenever-I-feel-like-it kind of thing…It’s. Daily. Obedience. Worship. Praise.

It’s an again and again and again thing…regardless of how I’m feeling, regardless of my circumstances.

Father, I pray I’ll do better. Today.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Cherished

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Cherished

Buried up to what felt like my neck in dirty dishes this afternoon, I sighed as I looked down into the sink to see several of Maelie’s play dishes from her Little Tykes kitchen.

Sigh again.

A moment of frustration for me definitely…I completely wanted to just sit down. Fighting the flu/sinus/cold stuff going around, doing anything extra wasn’t really on my agenda for the day.

But since her dishes were already in the sink…along with the rest of the ones that were actually dirty, well…there was no choice.

So I held in my impatience and washed her dishes…letting them dry in the draining rack.

Oh, thank you, Mommy. Thank you for washing my dishes!

Those few words uttered from my daughter just melted my heart into a puddle. By taking the time to let my daughter know that I would make what was important to her important to me, she knew that she was cherished.

And she is…so completely cherished…I just sometimes forget to show her that.

I love how my Father does the same thing for me…for all of His children. (Well, minus the frustration and impatience part. ;))

He sees what is important to us, what we hold dear…and He cares for us because we’re cherished in His eyes.

Today was a moment of humility for this mama…I realized that I so easily get wrapped up in my own thoughts and desires and life…and I forget about the little girl running around at my feet…the one who is already growing up way too quickly.

May I take each and every opportunity I am given to let her know she is cherished.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

The Reality of a Day

Warning…I might rant a bit in this post. Might. πŸ˜‰

I pulled out a can of diet ginger ale tonight because a) it’s just one of those nights where I feel like I need to be drinking something while I talk to you all; b) I slept horribly last night, and caffeine just might keep me awake; and c) I need to stay hydrated, though I’m not sure anything of the soda variety really helps.

All of that AND I took a large dose of NyQuil about 30 minutes ago…I’m not sure how well that would mix with caffeine, but I’m not sure I want to find out, either.

The eyelids are already drooping, but we shall see how long I make it before I pass out from exhaustion.

And a stuffed up head.

Goodness, I’m annoyed. This might be the part where there is some virtual foot-stomping and/or slight complaining that occurs within the context of Mel’s day being hashed out for you.

I may or may not have complained in December when I had a lovely little upper respiratory infection that lasted a good 18 days. (Not that I counted or anything…why would a person do that?! ;))

I really thought I had paid my dues for the flu season…so much so that I toyed with the idea of getting a flu shot last week but never actually did.

Mistake.

Guess who woke up with an equally wonderful sinus infection yesterday?

I will not throw too big of a fit. That’s mostly because getting up off the couch to actually stomp my feet would require too much energy. And I’m tired.

Though I might just be pounding the keys on my laptop a little harder than usual. πŸ˜‰

Anyway, so yesterday was me in denial. But by the time Tobin got home from work, let’s just say I was ready to fall into bed. And today, I spent the afternoon on the couch after being out a bit this morning.

I’m kind of thinking a flu shot is no longer a maybe. I’m getting it every year. And if I can still get one when this round of the ick is over, I’ll be the first person in line. Really.

So the reality of my day is this: I am sick, slightly crabby, and not at all myself. (And I probably should have just given myself a blogging pass.)

BUT the reality of my day is that I got an afternoon of snuggles from my favorite little girl…and even though I don’t feel great, I’m not sure there’s a better way to spend an afternoon. :)

This Nyquil is gonna zonk me quick…I better crash.

Thanks for stopping by tonight, friends! :)

Sig

My God-Sized Dream: Finding Balance

Hi, friends.

I’m gonna start by repeating myself. :)

I am just so, so incredibly thankful to God and blessed to be part of the God-Sized Dream team. Each day I am encouraged, inspired, and challenged to grow closer to my Father by these amazing women. I just love them…and hearing about what God is doing in their heartsΒ  and how their dreams are coming true is just the best.

Ok, on to book-writing. :)

I’ve shared the dream. To take my Indo stories…the blessings and the tough stuff, the best moments and the things that made me cry, all of them…and put them into one place.

My book.

I’m already calling it that…even if I don’t have a publisher yet. :)

I’ve been going through Holley Gerth‘s e-book short, The Do-What-You-Can-Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better.

To tell you that this book has been a blessing is an understatement. I feel like God is using it to give me clarity, focus…and amazing hope and expectation for what He is going to do in my heart and life.

I’ve known He wanted me to write the book for awhile now, and in my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-pretty-much-every-day, dive-in-headfirst, mind…I guess I figured I’d just sit down and tap out the words…and Voila!

Book.

That’s proven harder than I anticipated. Maybe we’ll just call it a reality check for someone who tends to live with her head bobbing in the clouds. :)

Holley stresses over and over in this book…small steps. One thing at a time. It will happen.

I SO needed to hear that…and hear it over and over and over. (Can I blame it on the ENFP in me? ;))

So twoish weeks ago I sat down and started to write out the small steps…the shorter-term goals…I felt were necessary to reaching my goal. I was desperately needing to find some type of balance…because I’m not just writing a book. I’m also a wife and a full-time mommy…I love my husband and daughter, and they deserve the best from me…not my “left over” time.

So here are the goals I came up with…one step at a time. (I only had to technically share one or two, but hey…I’m an overachiever. Or, I just like to talk. :))

1. Write out a plan for the book. My book is divided into three sections. Seventeen shorter chapters per section. I needed a plan or outline…some way to put it on paper so I could see where I was heading, to keep track of progress, and to actually see my chapter ideas. I’m finding that, due to the length a book should be…I will probably need to add a few chapters. I don’t think coming up with ideas for that will be hard, so I’m encouraged. And I’ve (mostly) finished this part.

2. Have a somewhat-flexible writing schedule…aka: certain days/certain things. It is extremely out of character for me to even use the word schedule. πŸ˜‰ But listing out what I should be doing on each day has helped me find balance. Balance between being a wife/mommy and a dreamer who’s reaching for a goal. For example…today’s Tuesday. :) My goals are to work on my post for the G-SD team, spend some time reading and commenting on friends’ blog posts and goals, spend lots of time with Mae, catch up on cleaning/laundry, make dinner, and work out tonight. No book allowed on Tuesdays, and it’s good. (Maybe I’ll share my schedule with you in another post. :))

3. Connect with my prayer buddy on a regular basis. This one isn’t too hard since we text almost daily, and I have chances to talk with her throughout the week. While I don’t want to overwhelm her (she has a life, too!) prayer is an important part of this journey, one that I sometimes put on the back burner. The truth is, it’s an amazing blessing to have a friend (and even, friends) who will pray me through this journey.

4. Surrender daily. Along with prayer, I’ve realized that each word I write needs to be surrendered to my Father…I want to give Him all of my book and all of my dream. This isn’t about me keeping a tight clench on the pieces of it I think I can handle on my own. It’s about letting go and trusting that He’ll bring something beautiful in His time.

Progress is slow on some of these, but I feel like I’m finding balance…something that has often been lacking in my daily life.

And since I should probably save something for next week, I’ll stop there. :)

Definitely smiling today…God is so Good, isn’t He?

And if you’d like to read more about what God is doing in the lives of other dreamers, hop on over here and check out the linkup! Truly, there are some incredibly beautiful stories here that God is writing. :)

God-Sized Dreams

Sig

Just a Diet Pepsi Chat…

Hi there, friends.

Just a sit-down-with-a-Diet-Pepsi and chat-with-you-all kind of night. :)

First off, I want to say thank you to all of you.

Your encouragement and comments in the past weeks (especially Tuesday) since I’ve started sharing more about my God-Sized Dream have knocked my socks off. Well, figuratively. It’s far too cold for even me to be running around barefoot. πŸ˜‰

I have to admit that as I continue to write and share my heart, this whole book-writing thing gets scarier and scarier. There’s so much that needs to happen…and so much that I’m admittedly uneasy and nervous about. Extra reasons for me to grasp more tightly to my Father’s hand, huh? He’s got it. :)

But I want to keep most of my dream-sharing for Tuesdays…so I’ll save my most recent thoughts until then. :)

It has been quite the week in the Schroeder house.

Hubby is wrapping up his job tomorrow…the one he’s been working since we moved here in July 2010.

It’s very surreal for both of us…sad, yes, but there is so much hope for the future, and we’re extremely grateful for that. With his new job, I’ll be able to stay home with Mae and write…with the non-pressure to make some money if I would like. I’ll just get to be with my girl, work on my writing, spend time with friends and at at my church…that makes me really, really happy. :)

Like, REALLY, REALLY HAPPY!!!!

And I’m happy for him, too…this job is a blessing in so many ways, and we’re excited for this new step. :)

It’s also been a hard week.

I’ve hesitated sharing this…and I’m going to leave most of the details out here. Really…if you want to find out more, I’m sure it won’t be that difficult, but I want to respect the people involved.

There’s been so much heartache and sadness for friends from the church we left behind in Minnesota, who I’ve known for several years and Tobin has known most of his life. They are going through something incredibly heart-wrenching and devastating…their son was charged yesterday with killing his wife on Sunday.

It’s the kind of situation that makes me sick…both physically and in my heart.

Sick for the family and friends of this beautiful woman and mother.

Sick for the little boy she left behind.

Sick for his family and friends…not only are they left with so many unanswered questions and wonderings, but they’ve also lost a daughter-in-law, sister, and friend whom they loved, too.

I just ache for them…to the point where I’m not sure I can even put it into words.

Will you pray for this family? I know they need and would appreciate your prayers so much. I’ve been asking God to just hold them tightly and reaffirm His unconditional love for them in amazing ways. I just cry for them…they must be hurting so much.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

What a beautiful thing that, as children of God, we can claim this promise.

So thankful for that tonight…thank you for praying. Love to you all.

P.S. This song has been playing over and over in my head over the past two days. I love it and the Truth found in it. Have a listen. :)

Sig

Banished to the Basement

No, not really, but I knew that would get your attention. πŸ˜‰

I’ve actually spent a good part of the day IN the basement, but that was by my own choosing. (But before you go feeling sorry for me, I have a comfy chair, a fleecy blanket, my laptop, and my awesome slipper boots that I hate to ever remove from my feet. Life is really very good with these four items. :))

AND my awesome husband gave me a wonderful, late-Christmas gift.

The afternoon off.

Yes, it deserved bold. I probably should have typed it all in caps, too.

I needed it. Between attempted book-writing, keeping up with the blog, staying connected with my Dream Team sisters, spending as much time as possible with Maelie, and trying to not bow out of regular life…I maybe think I almost, kind-of went a little crazy yesterday. Just maybe. (Though I’m positive I hid it very well.) Add to that the fact that the emotions have been running high this week, and well…enough said.

So we spent this morning together as a family…coffee, took our time getting out of the house, and then made trips to Hobby Lobby and Target to pick up a few things. (Side note: Yes, yes, I know that today was “Support Hobby Lobby Day”. However, I went there because I needed to get a few items, not because I’m into that whole thing. I mean, I support Hobby Lobby and AMEN to their courageous stance against the whole Obamacare fiasco, but I’ll go there anyway, not just on January 5th.)

Ok, ok, climbing down from my soapbox. Hee hee. πŸ˜€

Anyway, so when we came home, I temporarily much moved myself to the basement to get my head back together. I am pretty sure there were so many scattered pieces floating around in my brain by then that productivity would have been questionable had I not given myself peace.

I created for awhile. Thanks, Pinterest. I am now almost positive that if I continue at the rate at which I am currently going, my friends will never again need to purchase an accessory of any type.

That could make me cool. Or slightly obsessed. (I vote for the first. ;))

So between Mod-Podging (I love that verb…it SO belongs in the dictionary) and an extremely-overdue, hour-long chat with my Indo-friend, Becky, I managed to squeeze out two more chapters. The plan is one more tonight, and I will be on track to be half done with my rough draft by January 20th. Wowza.

Definitely a productive day.

Oh, and guessing you probably want to see what I created?

These.

They’re going to be on chains for necklaces. (Mod Podge just takes so stinkin’ long to dry that I haven’t finished yet.) And this is my first try, so they’re definitely not perfect, but I love this kind of thing. So the fact that I can make them now? Well, like I said, thanks, Pinterest. I really do heart you and the far-too-many, must-make options you provide for my creative streak. :)

So can I tell ya something?

Writing a book scares me.

I mean, the actual words to paper are the fun part for me. I love reliving the memories…it’s like they come alive in my heart all over again. :)

But there’s that part of me that wonders why my stories would matter to anyone else.

I know that’s fear and uncertainty speaking, but I gotta be honest. I’m terrified.

But I also know that God wouldn’t have opened some pretty huge doors lately if He didn’t want this to happen. And so I’ve got to trust (there’s that word again) that it’s all in His hands. Which I already know.

I just sometimes forget that little detail.

So I’m gonna head back to my rough draft and pound out several more paragraphs.

And, hey…if I don’t feel like much of a book writer tonight, at least I look like one. Guess who got glasses? (Translation: Guess who really needed to start wearing them again so she could see…I don’t know…across the room?! Slight sarcasm. ;))

But life IS much better without a headache. And when I can see. :)

Off I go…back to the book. Must. Write.

Happy Saturday to you…hope it was a good one.

Sig

Five-Minute Friday: Opportunity

It’s back! (insert slightly-cheesy, but oh-so-HAPPY grin)

πŸ˜€

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo at The Gypsy Mama for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Opportunity

Each day is a new opportunity, especially with a sweet, sometimes-more-than-slightly-mischievous, toddler running around at my feet.

She is a sponge…and she soaks it all up, whether I want that for her or not.

And, together, we try to take each opportunity that comes our way for learning, teaching, changing, growing.

But lately, well…she’s two.

Those five previously written words probably speak volumes to most of you. πŸ˜‰

She’s two, and sometimes taking opportunities is…hard.

That temper tantrum is often easier to ignore than to correct, and the same goes for other various misbehaving moments that generally occur within a normal day.

Often, rather than taking the opportunity to show her what she should be doing, I ignore or use the dreaded time-out…forgetting that those little eyes are watching me. Learning.

Too much, too quickly.

And then I stop and remember…

The greatest opportunities often come from the greatest challenges, not from the easiest ones.

On the easy days, I coast…and there’s no reason to go outside of my limits to reach for something else.

It’s on those difficult, sometimes-just-plain-hard, days that the biggest opportunities…for blessing, for sharpening, for growth…arise.

And so I stop in my tracks as I watch her getting frustrated again over something that seems small and insignificant to me.

But not necessarily to her.

I kneel down on her level, grasp her hands, look into her eyes, and take the opportunity to show her that I love her and that I’m on her side.

And that I always will be.

Five Minute Friday

Sig

Collisions

Is it bad to tell you that for the last week writing has been about the last thing I’ve wanted to do?

I especially felt guilty about that as I’d read the blogs of friends…they were all so inspiring and beautiful as each writer managed to take something profound from the birth of Jesus and apply it to life now.

I mean, it’s Christmas, after all. That’s when bloggers are supposed to pull out their best writing.

Not me.

And I suppose it’s not that way for everyone. It’s just how I feel. How I felt as I labored, literally, over each word in the last week, trying to pull beautiful out of seemingly nowhere.

And as I opened my laptop tonight, part of me just wanted to go to bed and do some more non-writing.

Which, I guess, is the opposite of writing.

Which makes me a genius for figuring that out? πŸ˜‰

At any rate, yeah.

Life is just a strange collision right now.

In some ways, that’s not a diversion from the normal of life. There are always ups and downs, joys and sorrows, things that make me laugh and others that make me cry, times of being surrounded and times of loneliness.

I usually have no problem processing those things, but for some reason, it feels almost impossible to scribble out anything worth reading lately.

That’s why I post pictures like this one. Hey, when you have a cute little princess dancing for the camera, who needs words? πŸ˜‰

But if I’m being honest, life is a mix of crazy confusion and big blessing right now.

I’m supposed to be in the thick of book-writing right now, and instead I’m wading through a swamp of doubt and fear and insecurity.

To be blunt…it sucks.

Not only does it just suck…but it’s suckING me down, slowly.

I’m questioning purpose, the right to dream, and if I’ve actually got what it takes to follow through. It’s discouraging, at-times depressing, and just feels…wrong.

It feels wrong to be even feeling those things when there are so many blessings surrounding me.

Because there really are.

Friends, family, community, church, sisters and dreamers…all good things. And there are so many more.

I know I am blessed, but I am also reminded that any journey toward a goal isn’t without challenges.

Most of you know that I’m writing a book with the goal of being finished by May. (I’m shooting for much sooner, but well see. :)) I could use prayer.

Prayer for focus…that I will keep my eyes on what I’ve set out to accomplish. And that I’ll keep them on my Father and what He’s asking me to do.

Prayer for balance…because I’m still a wife and mommy, and those two titles take precedence over “writer” each and every moment, as they should.

Prayer for wisdom…that God will guide my words and help me to speak Truth without being culturally offensive. (This is a big fear of mine because some of my writing deals with life in another culture.)

Prayer for love…that each word will be just that.

Thanks for reading my collision of words tonight. Blessings to you all as you close out 2012…can you believe it?! Time just zips by.

Love this quote I found today…maybe it will add some inspiration to your day, too. :)

Sig

Friday Photo

Dance like no one is watching.

My Maelie girl, you are amazing. I love you so much!

Sig