Warning: I’m about as scattered as Humpty Dumpty’s poor, shattered, eggshell-of-a-body tonight. So read…or don’t.
Either way, I’ll still love ya.
To preface this, I really don’t watch much TV. Other than the Morning Show occasionally, Blues’ Clues with Mae while she has a morning snack, and sometimes Millionaire in the afternoon so I can feel smart.
So when the ritual Sunday football mania was over tonight…
Insert…deep breath…and a WHEW!
Don’t do that to us, Pack.
Anyway, so when it was over I decided to keep the TV on and watch The Amazing Race.
Which I love, but really, my life has been an amazing race of sorts, and I don’t think the producers would ever let me and Tobin race it for real.
(Because we know too well how to navigate a country without speaking a lick of the language, maybe?! ;)) So I don’t really watch it.
Except I’d heard several weeks ago that they’d been to Indonesia…and to Yogyakarta, one of our favorite Indo cities. This trip to Indonesia was a first for the show, and I’ll admit I’ve been curious. So I pulled the episode up on cbs.com and watched away.
The teams stood in places we did…the Jakarta airport, Gambir train station and the Yogya station, Malioboro Mall.
Things made me smile…like seeing the Bata shoe store and Blue Bird taxis and a motorbike identical to what I drove and black and white painted curbs.
There were words I recognized and beautiful Indonesian faces that looked so familiar…and it was just so smile-worthy. (Though I’ll totally admit that I cracked up hearing the teams botch the pronunciation of Yogyakarta, too.
:)) I think it’s awesome that CBS finally thought Indo was cool enough to send people there.
But in watching all of this…
I didn’t expect the familiar ache.
I’m learning that it will always return whenever those particular strings on my heart are pulled.
I didn’t expect to cry.
I’m learning that it’s ok to cry over something.
I didn’t expect to want to dive for my phone and call Delta to try to use our miles again.
😉
Don’t worry…I didn’t yet. We’ll see. Yeah.
I have no idea why it’s so hard to let go of this place that was our better or worse for five years.
I HATED the snakes…they gave me nightmares. I HATED the horrendous traffic.
I HATED the lack of so many things I deemed “necessary” for happy survival.
And yet, I must have LOVED
…the people, the pretty green everywhere, the way I was loved and accepted, the people, the shopping ;), the motorbike love, the people…
Indonesia wormed its way into the heart of a girl who never thought she could love something so different.
So tonight my heart aches a little and I hurt a little more.
I’ll probably cry a little more tonight.
And tomorrow, I’ll wake up and smile because I remember the LOVE.
Thank God for Indonesia.
And if you want to see a bit of what pulls on my heart, you can find the video here. It’s long but worth the watch…the producers did an amazing job of representing Indonesia. Who wouldn’t want to visi
t?
I love this as I’m thinking about transitioning to the states in a few months. I keep wondering what I’ll miss… and what I won’t. Indonesia gets into your heart to stay.
I was actually thinking of you when I wrote this. You’ve lived in Indonesia for half (or more!) of your life, right? I’ll keep you in my prayers over the next months. True…as frustrating as life could be there, the Indo love does stick around. I miss it. A lot. It’s a good place. Love you lots!
Yeah, it was almost 9 years in the States and it’ll be 9 years here at the end of the school year. Thanks! I am getting a bit anxious to leave here, even though it’s already going so fast. Love you too!