Running, Half Marathons, and Chocolate Love

June 3, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So this is that post where I plop down at the computer after 9 pm. The coffee is brewing (really…it sounded too good :)) and I went for a run far too late tonight. When I work out late, I’m up until all hours. It’s really not always a good choice.

I’ve been wanting to extend the length of my normal run for awhile now, but for some reason that extra lap around the park always seemed like more than I wanted to deal with or push through, and if I’m running in the morning, it requires getting up seven minutes earlier. That’s a lot of minutes early in Mel’s sleepy-world.

Today, though, I was itching to get out of the house and burn off some of the way-too-big bowl of chocolate/peanut butter ice cream I had yesterday. And, I was feeling good ’cause I treated myself to a nap this afternoon while Mae took hers. (I think it was about two hours long.)

And it was glorious, just in case you were wondering. 😉

So tonight I tacked on the dreaded .8 miles to my usual 2.8, and you know what? It wasn’t that bad. It was actually good. I mean, the last half mile was tough and I was dripping and panting and sweating through my tank top AND T-shirt, BUT…it was good.

I almost let it enter my mind that I could be ready for the half marathon in September that I’d been considering until my knee decided to do funky things. We shall see. If a friend wanted to join me…you know, hypothetically…I might be persuaded to actually follow through.

Why is it that women always have to do things in groups?

Guys are, like, all manly and (insert deep, gruff voice) I-can-do-this-better-by-myself.

I don’t work that way. At all. Maybe it’s just that things are much more fun with friends, and adventures like half marathons are far more tolerable with a good buddy willing to suffer along with you. Yeah. :)

So, all my friends…any takers?! You know you want to. (And if you don’t want to run, I know you’ll want to come cheer for me as I totally kill myself rock the half.)

😉

Enough about that.

I’ve been on a huge chocolate kick lately.

I realize that stating that is comparable to letting you all know that I have two eyes.

No, really on a chocolate kick. I kind of can’t stay away from it. In fact, I’m headed to Target sometime tomorrow to try to find a couple new protein bars that have a good dose of chocolate in them and don’t taste like cardboard…quite a tall order to fill. But maybe that will curb the magnetic force that seems to be pulling me to the Ghiradelli bag multiple times a day. Golly. I’m gonna need to start running 12 miles a day just to burn it all off! Ugh.

But, seriously, isn’t chocolate just SO good? I think it goes with everything. With oatmeal at breakfast, with coffee after that, with Diet Coke all day long (that’s my favorite combo)… I’ve even been known in recent years to spread Nutella on bread and call it a sandwich for lunch. Oh, that sounds good. I need to stop talking about chocolate.

I’ve been really challenged in the last few days to spend time looking for little pieces of JOY in each day, and it’s been so good. Today’s joys? Lots of ’em. :) Seeing friends at church, my favorite pizza, playing frisbee with my hubby, cuddles and giggles with my girl, a visit and chat with a friend, a nap…it really was a great day. Lots to be thankful for.

Well, it’s late…and even if I’m not tired, I should probably try to get some sleep. :)

Love to you all, my friends. Hope your weekend was wonderful!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, coffee, friends, just life, Maelie, running, where I am

Through Leaves

June 2, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

The sunshine is back. That’s very good news. :)

And it was one of those days…just sunny and nice enough to be comfortable but not warm enough for my standard summer outfit…shorts and a tank top. (I tried but was way too cold.)

So I settled for jeans and my current-favorite black warm up jacket over that tank top, grabbed my guitar, and plopped down into my favorite chair out on the back patio while Maelie played this afternoon.

I strummed for a bit, worked on a few new chords, quickly lost my patience for learning anything new, put my guitar down, kicked my feet up, and stared into the trees.

I love the feel of the full-on sun on my face. I’m not the bronze-obsessed girl I used to be, but I still love a little color and the sun’s warmth as it beats down on me. Unfortunately, because of the time of day it was, all I could have were the little strips of golden sunshine poking through tree branches and leaves.

It frustrated me for a minute, but as I kept my eyes fixed on those leaves, it hit me.

While I might not have been getting the sunshine I wanted, what I had was still beautiful.

Life is kind of like that. We have this expected idea of all that is beauty and good, and it’s all we want. Today…it was worth it. To let go of my desire for sunshine and to see the beauty, instead, through the leaves.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, just life, where I am

So Many Blessings (Pt. 38)

June 1, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

You know those lists of blessings that I post about once a week?

Now that I think about it, it should be time for another one soon. Maybe I’ll add it at the end of this. :)

This is why I write them down…

Often, when those lists are compiled, I’m not having a great day. It’s my way of looking beyond the things that don’t necessarily make me smile to see the beauty and love surrounding me. A way to choose that JOY that I so desperately desire in each day. A way to find the small things that truly make up the big moments in life.

If I were making a list today, I would probably sit for quite awhile and think about the week. It’s been up and down, definitely…but taking that time to reflect makes me thankful.

One of Maelie’s favorites lately is Veggie Tales, and she almost daily requests the episode, Madame Blueberry. It’s a lesson in thankfulness, and while I’m getting sick of the story…the message is something that’s good for anyone to hear.

Things don’t make us happy and money doesn’t buy a fulfilled life. It’s all about being content with what God has given and choosing JOY in all things.

As Maelie watched that episode tonight before she went to bed, I felt myself tearing up at the end (I know, I know…over an animated movie. Golly, Mel.) when Madame Blueberry says that she finally figured out what she wants…A happy heart.

Because a thankful heart IS a happy heart.

As I think through life and marriage and Maelie…that’s my prayer for us. That we will learn to be thankful no matter what He gives…and that thankfulness will produce JOY in all circumstances.That we’ll have happy hearts and be able to soak in the many blessings that surround us.

God is so GOOD. Even if things in life are hard, we never have to look far to see the goodness He’s showered down.

Here are a few for today. :)

:) A spur-of-the-moment date with my hubby and daughter tonight…one where she sat still in a restaurant, colored on her kiddie menu, ate her dinner, and didn’t cry or fuss. We had a really good time together.

:) Afternoon naps.

:) Friends that make me smile.

:) Cookies (or just a cookIE) for breakfast.

:) A random day to wear my combat boots again.

:) Cute, little-girl clothes from a rummage sale.

:) Reading new books and being amazed at how much my girl is soaking up.

:) Being reminded of God’s perfect plan again today.

:) Weekends and summer and hopefully some warmer temps on the way!

:) Polka dots and stripes and flowers.

:) Hugs. I love hugs.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, uncategorized, what I'm learning, where I am

Lessons From a Walk in the Valley

May 31, 2012 by · 2 Comments

Before you start reading this, please know that it’s not directed at any one person. It’s just me talking, sharing life, thinking thoughts aloud…while drinking coffee ’cause I promised you all a coffee date, didn’t I?

:)

I even brewed the coffee late at night because I have this idea in my head that words come out easier when there’s caffeine involved. I’m not sure that’s far from the truth at all. :)

Staring out the window on this last-day-of-May afternoon, it’s cloudy, gloomy, and rainy. And? COLD…40’s in May?! REALLY?!?! I’ve got socks on, a running jacket over my shirt, and the sweater that my sweet friend literally gave me off her back over of all of that.

I’m cozy. Really.

But a person is not supposed to be COZY on May 31. More like hot…or at least warm…and in shorts and a tank top. 😉

Ok, not sure where that tangent came from. Down to business. Remember, this IS how I write. I joke for a bit before I get to the deep stuff. (Do you think that’s healthy? I’m not convinced. Just sayin’.)

So you may have noticed the lack of depth in the things I’ve been writing lately. I seem to go through those spurts, and after almost a year and a half of continuous blogging, it’s finally starting to NOT freak me out anymore. Because I know my words will be back eventually.

Life just feels like a long-stretching valley right now. There are little joys like pool-splashing and hugs from friends and bits of encouragement here and there, but lately, more down days than up.

For someone who is generally happy-go-lucky, fun, and full of spunk…that’s hard.

I wish the days were always sunny and that the smiles came easier and that I felt my purpose was being fulfilled and that am someone.

I don’t want to talk about the big D word, but sometimes I think we shove it under the rug, hoping that if we ignore depression that it will just go away and life will be rainbows and cupcakes again. (Hey…you know me and cake. I had to throw that in!)

I’m not talking about this to make you feel bad for me. Don’t. It’s life, and we all have those days even if we don’t want to admit it.

Honestly, it bothers me that Tobin and I are coming up on a decade of marriage…and our lives still don’t feel settled.

On the outside, it looks that they are. We bought a house we love. We have a car. Two, even. We are parents to the most amazing little girl the world has ever known. (Ok, I’m biased. ;)) But she is pretty wonderful. We have two golden retrievers who mean a lot to us. We’re surrounded by friends in this community who have loved on us without knowing how badly we needed that love. And we are blessed in those ways and many, many more…Beyond. Measure.

But it’s often that those things buried or hidden behind closed doors are what tear at a person’s heart and being the most.

It isn’t that I’m not happy with Tobin. We love each other and have chosen to stick things out while holding hands…despite many, many differences that could have driven us apart. And while we love big, we also disagree big…and that’s no secret to people who know us best. It’s personality type, partly. We really are the poster children(?) for the saying, Opposites Attract. And I guess I find it frustrating…and in some ways hurtful…that we are still battling through things after almost a decade together. I feel like we should have this figured out by now.

We’re aware of it, but it’s hard to know what to do about it. Just giving each moment to our Father, trusting that He is always Good.

I’m also struggling with parenting. I adore Maelie, and she is the sunshine of my day. Completely. But sometimes her almost-two-ness is just insanely in-my-face, and my normally decent amount of patience comes crashing down. It can be easy to let those moments discourage me for days, though she is the picture of forgiveness and love. Those times sure don’t bring out the best in me as a mommy, though, and I hate that because I love her and want the best for her.

And along with parenting comes the question that I don’t want to hear…that I don’t always have an answer for. Are you planning to have more?

Here’s the thing. Though I’m sometimes tempted to give the snippy reply, I wasn’t planning to have one, that’s not really how I want to respond.

The truth is that Maelie is a blessing we can’t put into words. After that adoption mess and struggling with pregnancy, I had started to think it might not happen for us. And when it did, I told God from the beginning that I knew He would help me be satisfied with whatever He gave.

I truly am. I just love the JOY that is my little girl SO. SO. MUCH. And if she is our only child here on earth, that’s ok. It’s more than ok…it’s amazing.

But it still hurts to think about more kids, which seems like a direct contradiction of what I just said. I can’t explain it, but some of you get it. There are what ifs and maybe somedays that creep in sometimes and cause my mind to go to places it shouldn’t.

I believe fully in God’s perfect plan, and clearly this bubbly, sweet, wonderful girl is the part of the plan He’s chosen to give us at this moment.

And part of walking through this time, this valley, is learning what He has for me. Growing in the Grace He has given. Honoring Him on days that are less than easy. Choosing JOY.

I’m really trying to grow through these days that are challenging and remind myself that God gives us times that are tough to remind us that He is our Help and our Comforter and our Hope and our Healer…and so much more.

It’s been a blessing to reflect on all He is…and who I am in Him.

Really, a sinner saved only by Grace.

And because I can’t leave this post on that kind of note, and because I’m a little wired on caffeine, here are a couple fun things.

Well, I think they’re fun. 😉

First up…a photo. Yes, I am a dork and took a picture of myself. 😉 Here’s the haircut. It’s actually more choppy than it looks. But since it’s after 10 pm and I just washed it, it’ll look better once I sleep on it…yay for a haircut where bedhead actually works to my advantage! :)

And, for some reason I thought you should know that I bought a shirt at the rummage sale at our church for $.50. It’s orange. It’s cute. And though I rarely wear orange, since it’s cute, I’m going to wear it tomorrow. Did I mention it’s cute?! I don’t have a picture of that, but maybe I’ll take one for you all. (Or have someone else take it ’cause I don’t want to be too dorky. ;))

Thanks for listening, for loving, for being here…even if I act like a dork sometimes.

Grin. :)

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, encouragement, hair, just life, Maelie, marriage, what I'm learning, where I am

(Almost) Summer Love

May 30, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So we’ll do coffee tomorrow.

Thursdays are really good for that. Not sure why, but it always seems that way. :)

Today, though…is good for reminding myself of what was. You know, because the temperature here randomly took a major nosedive and it’s no longer warm enough to do this. :(

In fact, it is warm enough to wear jeans and a hoodie and pretend that I’m not cold. Yeah.

However, I’m not worried.

This is the Midwest.

I’d be willing to stake a whole-bunch-of-a-lot on the fact that it will be in the 90’s before we know it.

In the meantime, we can dream.

And stare at this total cutie-patootie in the pool. :)

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, just life, Maelie

Rummage Sales, Memorial Day, Buying Coffee, and Hair-Chopping

May 29, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So I’m sitting here this afternoon, twiddling my thumbs.

Almost literally.

Mae is down for her nap, and it’s hot outside. And while I could go soak up a few rays…which I still might do…I’ve got a pretty boring afternoon stretching out before me.

I spent the morning helping set up for the rummage sale at our church/school. If you are in the area Thursday-Saturday this week, you should pop over to the school gym, find a few treasures, and support this awesome school! We love it, and our Mae doesn’t even go there yet! :)

I’ll be hanging out there off and on during the week helping when I can, but it’s tough with the girl. She’s not in the sit-still-and-stay-out-of-everything phase…at ALL. (Really, when are they EVER?) So she won’t be joining me this year. :)

We had friends over last night for a Memorial Day BBQ. It was really fun…to just talk and laugh (and eat!) and hang out with some pretty awesome people. Unfortunately, Mae was up WAY too late. I am, therefore, anticipating a three hour nap from her this afternoon. We shall see. :) And since we had company, I can’t even clean the house ’cause it’s not messy!

Ugh…what to do with my afternoon.

Drink coffee. I can definitely do that. :)

Oh, and here’s something coffee related that’s too cool. I found it on a friend’s blog yesterday, and Tobin and I used it to buy a few cups of coffee for troops overseas. Being a girl who hearts coffee and a good chat, this is a really sweet way to say thank you to those who are serving our country. And it’s not too late for you to get in on some of the coffee action, too! You even get to add a personal note to your purchase. I love this. LOVE it.

Oh, I can also tell you what I’m gonna do tonight. (Like I didn’t have this conversation planned…SEE the title? ;))

I really love my hairstylist. Besides being my friend, she’s also my favorite person one day a month when she cuts/colors my hair. Maybe I’m biased, but I think she does a really good job. Since she started cutting my hair last October, in an I’m-gonna-hint-like-crazy-and-hope-you-let-me-do-this-somday kind of way, she’s been begging asking me to let her cut a pixie.

I finally told her a couple weeks ago that she could do it this time. Just once to see if I like it. :)

I’m kind of a hair girl. I spend enough time (and money) on it…plus, it’s just fun. I like to change it up every year or so. And if I’ve got the same style for too long, I start to get bored. So even though I love my current haircut, it’s definitely time for a change.

So that’s what I’m doing tonight. And I have to admit to you that I’m a teeny bit nervous. I haven’t gone this short since that dramatic episode in college where I basically fried my hair off.

Yeah, I’m a star. :)

I’ve pored through pictures and haven’t found anything exactly like what I want…just two that I’m hoping she can combine into something choppy, shaggy, fun. (I’m starting to get nervous…)

No, I’m actually excited. And I figure it will grow back by the end of summer if I really don’t like it.

😉

And now that I’ve completely chatted away about everything…Happy Tuesday, friends. Hope your day is full of blessings!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, coffee, friends, hair, just life, Maelie, Tobin, where I am

Little Blessings (Pt. 37)

May 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) A free playhouse that my girl is already lovin’ like crazy!

:) A parade with friends on a really hot and sunny day.

:) After-parade swimming. She loved the pool…I knew she would. 😉

:) Funny conversations about texting with my girl. (Yes, you read that right. She’s growing up WAY too fast!)

:) $2 tank tops at Old Navy. For once I managed to NOT hit the sale at the end of it and actually came home with a few!

:) Smiles and giggles…they happen so often with a certain little girl in our house. I love her.

:) Anticipating reunions this summer with friends we’ve missed.

:) Running. I have a love/hate relationship with it, but it’s my time. To be alone, to praise my Father, and sometimes to burn off frustration, even. It’s good.

:) Homesickness and reflection.

:) Lessons through valleys.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life, Maelie

Just Because I Can…

May 26, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Maelie’s new favorite is Veggie Tales.

I like that a lot, and am hoping and praying that King George and his duckies get through to her and her often-inability to share. THOUGH…the other night when Tobin took us out for ice cream, she was very content to “Share ice cream!” as she pounded her fists on the table waiting for the next bite.

Oy. 😉

I understand that she’s a typical two year-old but because there’s no guarantee of a sibling (aka: a built-in, must-share-with friend) teaching her to be willing to share is harder.

She does, however, loooooove King George and his duckies.

:)

So in honor of my girl, and just because I can…

Here you go.

P.S. I guarantee you’ll be singing, “I love my duck!” as you go on with your day. Hee hee hee. 😀

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, just life, Maelie, music, what I'm learning, where I am

And…We Talk

May 24, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I won’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down tonight to try to write something.

Anything.

Then, thought repeatedly about not blogging tonight, which is really fine, but I know that it’s far easier to fall asleep if I’ve just spilled my guts. Or, my brain. (Really, who came up with that phrase…spill your guts…? It sounds like it should involve puking or something.)

Anyway.

Probably more than you needed to think about right now. Sorry about that. 😉

So it’s kind of been a roller coaster week.

Two trips to the doctor…we ended up going in for x-rays today because that darn limp is still there. Poor Mae. :( Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to be in much pain, but it’s frustrating to not have answers. The doctor we saw was nice, but he also didn’t really have anything earth-shattering to share with us. Just told us to watch her for another week or so.

I realized today that I like answers and knowing exactly what’s going on. That doesn’t typically fit my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants personality…maybe I’m just that way when it comes to people I love. Anyway, that made the week not great.

Kinda hard, in fact.

But even though she’s limping, we’re going to have a good weekend. I’m determined. 😉 The pool is already warming up, and I’m gonna have to get in tomorrow, whether I want to or not, just to skim it. Lesson learned already? Cover. Absolutely. Necessary. 😉

There’s a parade on Sunday we’ll go to and then we’re having friends over Monday night.

Good times.

It’s been an emotional week for other reasons. I really try not to let emotions take over my days, but sometimes…

Well, sometimes there are just those days.

The kind that creep up and, at the time, seem unavoidable, and the only thing you can do is pray they’ll improve. The kind that make a twelve-hour nap while buried under layers of blankets seem much preferable to the reality that is cleaning and laundry and chasing an active-but-wonderful girl.

But I don’t really want to talk about those days too much.

Because I HAVE had some really good times this week…hence, the roller coaster. :)

Like…walks with friends and ice cream dates with my hubby and girl and swinging and water splashing and dollhouse playing and hug giving and…just lotsa smiles. I’m pretty blessed to have the girl I do. In fact, I caught myself re-writing some words to a song…

I’ve got sunshine…on a cloudy day.
And when it’s cold outsside, I’ve got a girl named Mae…

I was thankful this week for friends…and for friendships that continue to grow, which I think is so important. I was able to have a couple really good talks this week with people…deep stuff, things that I don’t just talk about with everyone. It made me thankful for listening ears and sisters willing to love without judgment.

We all need those people, and I am incredibly blessed with the friends God has given me.

:)

Tomorrow’s Friday. And I do love Fridays. :) Not too much planned, but that’s ok. I’ll take sunshine and my girl any day!

I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to come up with a huge list of blessings by the end of the day, too. Maybe I’ll even share it with you. :)

G’nite, friends. Thanks for being here.

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, just life, Maelie, random, where I am

Cherry Drool

May 22, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I took Mae to the doctor today to get her leg checked out.

She was cranky and crying, as usual, while Dr. F was examining her, making it hard for him to pinpoint if he was dealing with a little girl in pain or just a mad little girl. 😉 He invited her to take a walk down the hall with him to “get a sucker”…or, so he could see her limping.

She gladly obliged, and he was suddenly at the top of her “favorite people list” after giving her a sucker from the basket. (I think this made him feel good after so many visits of not being especially loved. True.)

The second she tore that wrapper off the Dum Dum, she stuffed the candy into her mouth…and I watched in amazement.

When did she learn to do this?

I’d never given her a sucker before, but she knew what to do!

And…what not to do.

Enter…The. Drool.

Cherry flavored.

Mmmmmmmm. (Or not.)

I could not believe the amount of drool that teeny, tiny sucker produced. It soaked the front of her shirt. It left a trail AND then a puddle on the floor.

And all Dr. F and I could do…was laugh.

Golly, it was funny.

AND a sticky, gross mess (that I got) to clean up…BUT it was such a good reminder to me.

Sometimes there are pieces of life that are not the easiest to deal with. The best we can do is laugh, clean it all up, and keep going.

Which is exactly what I did…except, I waited until she was done with her candy before I took her out of the office. (No sense in continuing the trail of cherry goo.) 😉

We got out to the car, changed her shirt, and were on our way home.

With a story that, I’m sure, will be told over and over. :)

(Oh, and her leg is ok…just a sprain. Thanks for praying! :))

Sig

Filed Under: adventures, being mommy, just life, Maelie, what I'm learning, where I am
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