To My Daughter on Her 2nd Birthday

June 14, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

14 June 2012

My Maelie,

This is a letter that I don’t want to write.

I mean, I do want to write it…to continue the tradition of documenting my thoughts on your birthday each year. Who knows? Maybe these letters will contain words you come back to over and over in the future.

Most of the reason I don’t want to write it is because you are growing up too fast. You are TWO!

The past year has truly been a pleasure to watch…

Last June, you were crawling and standing but still over a month shy of your first steps. Today? You run everywhere, and I do mean EVERYWHERE! You run with abandon, you love to be chased, you love doing the chasing, sometimes you love to run from mommy… :)

A year ago, you said words…several. This year, you speak sentences. You always have something to share, and I believe you might be a storyteller like your mama…I’m excited to watch!

Last June, your hair was just starting to grow. Today, we did piggies, and though I still have to bribe you with fruit snacks to wrestle those pigtails in, you tell me you like them. And you sure do look like a cutie pie with them! :)

There are a thousand other things that have changed over the past year.

But there are also things that have not changed, but just grown even more.

You are beautiful. Daily, you shine…not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. I watch you giving hugs, stopping to “talk” with everyone around you, flashing smiles, laughing with that so-sweet-I-want-to-bottle-it-up-forever giggle. You have JOY in your heart, and God uses that JOY to remind me each day how truly blessed we are.

You are independent. We joke that you came out of the womb that way, which isn’t entirely untrue. But your independence is a wonderful thing…watching you learn and discover and grow has been such a huge part of our year together. You know your ABC’s, your numbers, many of your colors, and you have a lot of your books memorized, too.

You are loved. People surround you, Mae. They love you…to play with you, laugh with you, sing with you, talk with you, just be near you. We are unbelievably blessed by our family of friends…and you are always showered with love.

God loves you. My deepest desire and prayer for you is that you walk with your Father for all of your days. He loves you, He always has, and He always will. And He loves you with a love that is infinitely stronger than the love your daddy and I have for you…which is so hard to fathom but so wonderful to imagine.

My favorite part of our days has become bedtime. Most nights after story and teeth-brushing, you snuggle up to me, and we sing. Jesus Loves Me, All Through the Night, One in a Million, He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands…those are some of our favorites. After we snuggle and sing, we pray…always, that you will grow up to love God.

My precious daughter, I love you to the moon and back…plus infinity.

Love,
Mommy

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, just life, Maelie

Still (Part 2)

June 13, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

So last night I shared a song. :)

Tonight I’ll talk a little more and attempt to tie together my very scattered thoughts. :)

I’ve known for a long time that we’re blessed. Though Tobin and I don’t have a lot of extra money, whenever I take the time to sit down and look around me, I know we’ve been given so much.

I see it everywhere.

And I’m not talking about material possessions.

We moved to Illinois with a teeny-tiny, baby girl on a hot, July day in 2010. I remember that day, as we sat on the front porch waiting for our realtor to arrive with a key, how completely unsure I was of the life that swirled around me. I was scared of what it might take to find friends, worried about being accepted into a community.

I specifically remember, that day, being so fidgety and nervous to the point of feeling like I needed to sprint a few laps around our new house. (I didn’t, though, because who runs laps six weeks after a C-section? ;)) No, I just needed to move and shake out some of the uncertainty that plagued me.

Because I truly wondered what kind of chapter God was writing for us.

Most of you know the story…in almost-two years, we’ve seen just about every emotion multiple times. There have been some pretty high mountains and some pretty low valleys. Many amazing blessings and a few I didn’t view as such. Times when we anticipated the future with excitement and other moments when we had no idea how to move forward.

And, yet, when I think of these words…

Hide me now, under Your wings. Cover me within Your mighty hand…
When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm.
Father, you are King over the flood, and I will be still and know You are God.

Perhaps being still…those lessons in silence and waiting and wondering and praying, those things which all lead to TRUST…is what He had for me in these years.

And? What He is still teaching me through situations that don’t go as I expect. Perhaps, that JOY is given regardless of circumstances if I’m willing to surrender to His will.

This past Monday afternoon, we were hanging around church after VBS had ended. I stood there chatting with a friend and was amazed…COMPLETELY…by the number of people surrounding my daughter. Hugging her, talking to her, playing with her, chasing her up and down the aisles, (…ahem) showering love on her.

:)

On that July afternoon, as I fed Maelie her bottle and let my tears drip down onto her onesie, I never even dreamed we’d be given something so precious.

A community of believers who have become family.

As I processed that thought and continued to watch people love my girl, my heart felt like it was going to burst from complete JOY.

And when I stop to think about those moments of unknown two summers ago, I am reminded that there will be more. And, just as He has given so many blessings, there’s no reason for me to think that He won’t continue doing just that if I keep walking with Him.

Praying.

Trusting.

And taking time to be still and know that He is God.

He’s SO Good.

And I pray that He will remind me of that every day of my life.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, encouragement, family, friends, just life, remembering, what I'm learning, where I am

Still (Part 1)

June 12, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I’m gonna do something a bit different tonight.

I’ve had several nights of deep(er) writing, and though I have lots of thoughts for tonight, I’m going to break them up a little and finish tomorrow.

For tonight, I’m going to share a song. I was singing it to myself earlier today, and then I remembered it was one of the songs we sang our first Sunday visiting what would become our church.

As I thought about the words to it, it took on a deeper meaning and puts into words so well the story of my life the last two years. And I love it that, in a way, this song was the beginning of a wonderful chapter in our lives. :)

So here it is…and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, church, encouragement, family, just life, music, what I'm learning, where I am

She Sleeps. A LOT.

June 11, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Why, yes is it Monday night.

And, yes, I did work out, though not as hard as I usually do. (Stupid hip=less running.) Bummer.

And…yep, I bet you totally guessed this one…I AM having coffee. But just one cup because I need to sleep tonight.

So my precious daughter, the one who did not want to take a nap today, went to sleep around 5:00 tonight.

She is still sleeping at 10 p.m.

We are hoping to squeak through this time and praying that she sleeps through at least most of the night. The poor girl was so exhausted from a busy morning of playing with her buddies in the nursery and then after VBS with some more of her favorite friends. There was lots of running involved.

I was sure she’d take a nap, but she protested loudly.

However, I needed a nap. So I plopped her on our bed, pulled up Veggie Tales on my kindle, and she watched that while I took that much-needed snooze. It is times like these that I am so very thankful I can be certain of the following two things…

One, that I can sleep through goofy songs sung by talking vegetables playing too close to my ears.

And two, that my daughter will not move from the bed as long as Veggie Tales is going.

Extremely true.

Though not the preferred method of getting a little break in the afternoon, today it worked.

😀

I plopped her in the crib for a few minutes around 5:00 because I desperately needed to get something done, and when I finished and went to rescue her?

Totally out.

Tobin and I tried to get her up around six, but she wanted nothing to do with it…so we let her sleep. It remains to be seen if that was wise parenting on our part or not.

All I know is I miss her hugs…and can’t wait for one in the morning! (But hopefully not before then!) 😉

So it’s VBS week at our church.

Man, I love this week.

I’m game leader for 2nd-4th grade, which basically translates as time to hang out with some cool kids, get to know them, teach them some (mostly) fun games, laugh, and show them Jesus’ love.

I think it could be one of my favorite weeks of the year.

And it’s Maelie’s birthday week, too, which is just fun. We have some good plans this week…swimming with friends tomorrow and Wednesday, lunch with another friend on Thursday, volleyball tournament on Friday, though that doesn’t involve Mae. (I’m just really excited about it! :D)

And, yeah…good stuff. I like to be busy.

I’ve been tossing around a few ideas in my head that might help keep me more occupied during the next school year. We’ll see if anything comes from them. Of course, my first priority is always to be Maelie’s mommy, but it would be nice to use my down time in the afternoons for something a little more productive. (Just, fyi…90% of my blogging happens late at night. I felt you needed to know that…I do consider it productive. Usually. ;))

So I am still watching that video of Mae singing the Veggie Tales theme song. Over and over. I can’t get enough of it. She just makes me smile really big, and my heart gets that little flutter in it, reminding me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful little girl.

A wonderful little girl who is still sleeping. :)

I’m gonna hit the hay a little early tonight, I think. You know, just in case she decides that she doesn’t want to sleep until 7:30.

Hope your Monday was a good one. :)

Sig

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, church, coffee, friends, just life, Maelie

Saturday Chatting

June 9, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Hey there, friends.

So I’m definitely in a chatty mood today. In fact, I talked so much today I think I drove my hubby crazy. Maybe a good Father’s Day gift would be earplugs?!

No, seriously.

Sometimes I get in those spurts where there’s SO much swimming around in my head that I can’t talk enough! I just have to process it ALL! Whether or not the person on the other end of the conversation wants to hear it or not.

I believe that’s a characteristic of the classic ENFP.

I don’t have anything earth-shattering to share tonight…just what He’s doing.

God has really been challenging me lately to just soak up the NOW and the blessings that come with it. To wake up in the mornings ready to embrace the little things that make up the wonderful in a day.

Like today…which started with a 5k run. It was a tough run for everyone…I’m suspecting that the 70+ degrees so early in the morning had a lot to do with it. My usual running partner and I were at different paces today so I ran most of the time alone, and it was good. The running path we use is mostly shaded and just…pretty. It really is a nice run if I have to be working out. Just me…processing sometimes-aloud and talking to God. :) And as a bonus, there were no chipmunks falling out of trees today! (Did I tell y’all about that? I’ll have to go back and look. ;))

I headed home, and it was such a gorgeous morning and our backyard is shaded until afternoon, so we spent most of the time outside. Tobin ran out and picked up some breakfast, and we all ate out on the patio and enjoyed Mae and her exuberance. (And her attempts to steal my Diet Coke. Yes. Because that IS what I drink with my breakfast on Saturdays. :))

We spent about an hour with Mae in the pool after lunch, and that was really fun, too. She laughed and splashed and repeatedly threw the diving rings for us to grab for her. Just good times. She is at such a curious and busy, but FUN age, and I’m truly trying to enjoy each moment.

Even the ones involving sprawled-on-the-floor temper tantrums. Because she IS almost two.

Golly…in five days.

Sniff, sniff.

And there were other joys…naps, time to read a “fun” book, pizza for dinner, a walk through the neighborhood to visit and chat with some of our friends, bedtime stories and songs, and a sweet reminder.

Tonight, as Mae and I were singing He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, God have me a glimpse of His Love and Power…things that I needed to be reminded of. Sometimes situations seem out of our control, and all we can do is place them in His hands. And, really, that shouldn’t be my last resort, as it so often is. I should trust His Love and His Power enough to give it all to Him.

That’s so hard, but something I definitely needed to think about tonight. :)

I am extremely blessed.

Remind me of that if I ever forget it. Ok?

G’nite friends. Thanks for being here. :)

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, family, friends, just life, Maelie, random, running, Tobin, where I am

A Lesson From a Dead Daisy Plant

June 8, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

A couple months ago I planted daisy seeds in a cute, little tin pail.

I had originally wanted to put several plants in our backyard, but being indecisive, I-don’t-know-what-I-want, ME, a plan was never really made. Plus, those who know me understand that planting anything or keeping flowers/plants alive? I don’t really do that so much. (I just need HELP so if any of you who have a green thumb wanna offer some assistance…well, you know where to find me.) 😉

But I was browsing in Target (shocker, I know) and happened to wander through the dollar section. There was this uber-adorable little pink-and-white tin pail on clearance for probably a quarter and then a little tiny package of daisy seeds.

And right there, in the dollar section, I decided that I was going to grow myself a some daisies. :)

I figured it couldn’t hurt to try, though the fact that I purchased my supplies in the Target Dollar Section probably speaks something about the success of the project…keep reading. 😉

So my awesome hubby filled up the little pail with dirt for me, and I planted the seeds, plopped that little pail on my kitchen window sill, determined that I was going to have some pretty daisies.

Lo, and behold, several days later those seeds started to sprout!

I am pretty sure I got very excited at the sight of green poking through the dirt. Like possibly do-a-little-happy-dance-around-the kitchen excited.

Maybe that happened. 😉

For almost two months the green kept growing taller and taller…and I kept hoping to see that little sign that there was a flower about to appear…

But, alas…

In a moment of frustration a few days ago, I finally pitched the plant outside, giving up all hope that I’d actually get A. DAISY.

I didn’t technically throw it…I just placed it out on the back patio, knowing that Maelie would find it and play with it. (Which she did.) 😉

That “daisy” came up in a conversation today, and as I was thinking about it later, I wondered something.

What if I’d been willing to wait longer? I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever grown flowers. I. Don’t. Know. how long it takes for that to happen. I just had “the way it should be” in my mind and let that be my Truth.

Sometimes I’m that way with life. (Or maybe more-than-sometimes…)

I have it in my head how things should be…and I often forget to consider that God’s ways don’t always look like mine.

There are times when He asks me to wait. I think back to a year ago when we were still waiting on our house. He had it all planned out for us, but in that waiting, He taught us a lesson in trust.

I’ve had to wait for other things in life, too. We all have. But He always shows His faithfulness…the kind of faithfulness that makes me wonder why I ever doubted Him.

That poor little daisy “plant” could have been pretty, I think.

But I never consider something that becomes a reminder of Truth a complete waste.

Sig

Filed Under: encouragement, just life, what I'm learning, where I am

Little Blessings (Pt.39)

June 7, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

:) Sunshine on a park-Thursday.

:) Vanilla Coke Zero.

:) Surprise last-minute visits with friends.

:) Laughing really hard…like, so hard the tears fall.

:) Friends who listen and love.

:) Blogging one-handed with sweet baby Sophie in my other arm.

:) Happy days.

:) The Goodness of my Father.

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, friends, just life

You Should Just Watch This :)

June 6, 2012 by · 4 Comments

This could be classic…and even if it’s not, it will definitely make your day.

Love this girl. :) So. SO. MUCH.

Enjoy. :)

Sig

Filed Under: just life, Maelie, music

It Rained Today

June 5, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

I remember the first time I had to say goodbye to a friend.

I was about six years old, and my good friend from the neighborhood was moving with her family to Texas. I was young, but I remember so much about that day…including the amount of rain that fell.

And we’re not talking from the sky.

She and her family left early that Saturday morning. I sobbed as I watched them drive away…and I never saw her again.

Over the years there have been other goodbyes. Friends have come and gone, hearts hurt, more tears have fallen…because that’s what happens with life and comings and goings.

Our time in Indonesia taught me much about saying goodbye…because it happened all the time. People…friends, students, teachers…were always in transition. And though I am generally an emotional person, I had to learn to control the amount of rain that fell.

I couldn’t let every single goodbye devastate me. And at a not-so-young age, I finally found some way to properly grasp saying goodbye.

One of the most valuable life lessons I took away from our time overseas was the concept of RAFTing. Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewell, Think Destination. As we faced many goodbyes of friends who left us and then became the ones who were leaving, these concepts helped us end one chapter of our lives and look forward to the next.

Today I said goodbye to a friend.

When I woke up this morning and realized what day it was, I was briefly tempted to just text her a goodbye, apologizing that I never made it over. Then I caught myself.

We live less than five minutes away and Maelie and I had nothing on our schedule for the day.

So we had no excuses.

Added to that, the one thing that has stuck with me through all the goodbyes I’ve said is that friends need to know that they are valued and loved. They need to be affirmed. And, whenever possible, they need to hear it from us. In person.

So I texted her, we figured out a time, and Maelie and I stopped over.

We ended up staying for over an hour…just talking, catching up a bit, laughing, talking about the future…and crying.

It was good to let the rain fall for my friend, this woman who was part of a group who gave me community when it was my turn to be the new girl. We bonded over Iowa talks and park get-togethers and late, summer-night workouts. She always had a smile, was such an encourager, and I truly value her friendship…even though it will now be across hundreds of miles.

It rained today.

It rained tears of thanks and sadness and JOY all mingled with the hope that we have in our Father.

And though it rained, it wasn’t really a goodbye kind of rain. It was that I’ll see you…soon kind of rain. And I will.

Goodbye, my friend. I will miss you.

 

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, friends, just life, remembering, where I am

Feeling…

June 4, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Awake. Another late night workout. Hoping my body decides to fully crash earlier tonight than it did last night. However, my daughter has been sleeping in lately. That’s always good.

Entertained. (But only slightly.) There’s a family of skunks living under our front porch. I’m not sure how to process this information other than do my best to avoid that area at all costs. Yep…not really diggin’ the idea of bathing in tomato juice or whatever concoction is necessary to kill the stench.

Slightly Jealous. Apparently, in the middle of kindergarten graduation at BAIS (our school in Indo) yesterday, a 6.1 earthquake hit. My first thought was, Cool! Then, Man, I wish I could have been there! I’m not sure the kindergarteners thought that, though…but it does make for a memorable graduation ceremony!

Thirsty for Coffee. I’m gonna be a good girl and NOT tonight. Ya think that could potentially hinder my sleeping ability? I want some zzzzz’s too badly tonight to risk it. I’ll just drink an extra cup in the morning. :)

Frustrated. Trying to figure out what to do for Mae’s birthday. June is busy, and I know not every year has to be a big shindig, but I want to do something for her. I’ve got about another day to figure out…whatever it is I’m figuring out…and then get some plans going. Can we say “procrastination”? Ugh…I’m disappointed in myself.

Encouraged. I’ve just been reminded over and over lately that God wants to hear the things on our hearts…even if they seem small. I’ve tried to be intentional about talking to Him throughout my day, and it always makes me smile to see a way He’s answered something.

Hopeful. It wasn’t a great day with parenting and my napless wonder of a daughter who decided that screaming bloody murder for an hour was preferable to napping. :( We rarely have days this bad and they are never consecutive, so I’m hoping that tomorrow will be a good day. ‘Cause I love her and on the days she’s oozing sunshine…well, there’s not much that’s better. :)

Sad. Not too sad, just wondering what’s going to happen with a particular situation in life right now. It has the potential to change some things for us. Nothing earth-shattering but definitely makes me think, Oh. With a kind-of sad face.

Thankful. I say it all the time, but I am truly thankful for the Grace that has been given to me…the Grace I need but don’t deserve…that Grace that has changed my life. I love that it never ceases to amaze me. I’m thankful that He keeps amazing me with all He is. That’s cool.

Tired. Maybe. :) Gonna try for some sleep. G’nite, friends!

Sig

Filed Under: blessings, just life, where I am
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