It’s Tuesday…Dreaming Day.
Actually, every day is full of dreams for me ;), but today…grab a cup of coffee and let’s have a chat.
She asked us to post a photo of ourselves during an awkward phase.
Oh, there were sweaty, shaky hands and almost-puke-inducing butterflies as I selected this photo, checked fifty times to make sure I was only posting it to the private Dream Team facebook page, and then hit the share button.
Awkward, almost-12-year-old Mel.
It’s not as if I think I was the ugliest person on the planet…though that perm…really?! Why did we ever think that was a remotely acceptable style? 😉
But that picture reminds me of things. People. Words…often unkind ones. Memories I can’t shake of a heart-bleeding time in my life.
Those have left deep wounds that are still not fully healed.
I was awkward, somewhat of an outcast…always questioning belonging and relationship. Not the happiest place for a preteen to be. And, sadly, it never really got better until I moved on from that little Iowa town.
There were just some mean girls…I didn’t understand them then and I don’t understand them now. And I really don’t want to go there today…we all know about mean girls.
But when I saw today’s writing topic,
What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?
Oh, I tried. Believe me, friends, I tried…to find one fear that was bigger, one that scared me more, yet I could somehow bear to face a little easier in this vulnerable, online place of heart-spilling.
But I just couldn’t.
Because, more than anything, I am afraid of mean girls.
I fear what I feared in middle school…in a different, yet strangely similar, way.
I fear that the things I write from my heart that mean so much to me will be ridiculed and made fun of, purposely stomped on and torn apart. I fear that the dream God has placed in my heart will shatter to bits under the weight of these things.
Oh, how these thoughts and emotions could potentially destroy me if I let them. And I can’t let them.
I know that these fears and insecurities I have in me won’t just disappear overnight. That’s not the way we learn trust and acceptance and identity.
But what I know? Is that my God is bigger than them.
And in facing this fear of rejection, I simply need to rely on His promises to me and trust them as Truth…because they are.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
There are probably a thousand other verses I could share…My Father is truly the One Who can heal and overcome, build us back up when we’ve been torn down…and remind us of where true belonging and identity are found.
Perhaps the experiences I’ve had have also reminded me of grace and the choice I have to extend it each day to those around me. I don’t always know what they face; I don’t know what goes on in their hearts. But I can choose to love and accept, to be kind and embrace others as who God has created them to be.
And if you’d like to read some amazing stories of how God is at work in making big dreams happen for some amazing women, click on the button below. We’re linking up every Tuesday and would love for you to join us!