My God-Sized Dream: Mean Girls

It’s Tuesday…Dreaming Day.

Actually, every day is full of dreams for me ;), but today…grab a cup of coffee and let’s have a chat.

Last week, my friend Holley asked the ladies on the God-Sized Dream Team to do something really scary. Like, so scary, I still cringe.

She asked us to post a photo of ourselves during an awkward phase.

Oh, there were sweaty, shaky hands and almost-puke-inducing butterflies as I selected this photo, checked fifty times to make sure I was only posting it to the private Dream Team facebook page, and then hit the share button.

Awkward, almost-12-year-old Mel.

It’s not as if I think I was the ugliest person on the planet…though that perm…really?! Why did we ever think that was a remotely acceptable style? 😉

But that picture reminds me of things. People. Words…often unkind ones. Memories I can’t shake of a heart-bleeding time in my life.

Those have left deep wounds that are still not fully healed.

I was awkward, somewhat of an outcast…always questioning belonging and relationship. Not the happiest place for a preteen to be. And, sadly, it never really got better until I moved on from that little Iowa town.

There were just some mean girls…I didn’t understand them then and I don’t understand them now. And I really don’t want to go there today…we all know about mean girls.

But when I saw today’s writing topic,

What’s one fear you’ve faced when it comes to your God-sized dream? And what’s the truth that’s bigger than that fear?

Oh, I tried. Believe me, friends, I tried…to find one fear that was bigger, one that scared me more, yet I could somehow bear to face a little easier in this vulnerable, online place of heart-spilling.

But I just couldn’t.

Because, more than anything, I am afraid of mean girls.

I fear what I feared in middle school…in a different, yet strangely similar, way.

I fear that the things I write from my heart that mean so much to me will be ridiculed and made fun of, purposely stomped on and torn apart. I fear that the dream God has placed in my heart will shatter to bits under the weight of these things.

Oh, how these thoughts and emotions could potentially destroy me if I let them. And I can’t let them.

I know that these fears and insecurities I have in me won’t just disappear overnight. That’s not the way we learn trust and acceptance and identity.

But what I know? Is that my God is bigger than them.

Way bigger.

And in facing this fear of rejection, I simply need to rely on His promises to me and trust them as Truth…because they are.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3

For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:7-8

There are probably a thousand other verses I could share…My Father is truly the One Who can heal and overcome, build us back up when we’ve been torn down…and remind us of where true belonging and identity are found.

Perhaps the experiences I’ve had have also reminded me of grace and the choice I have to extend it each day to those around me. I don’t always know what they face; I don’t know what goes on in their hearts. But I can choose to love and accept, to be kind and embrace others as who God has created them to be.

And if you’d like to read some amazing stories of how God is at work in making big dreams happen for some amazing women, click on the button below. We’re linking up every Tuesday and would love for you to join us!

God-Sized Dreams



  1. I love this! I totally had a perm like that! I don’t even know what exactly I want to share except…you shared that so wonderfully. I was always afraid of being ridiculed I think. It still effects me today. I think women still do fall into that trap. Judging others because they do it different. We have to get over it. God gives us love, and power and self discipline. We can give that to others! Thank you so much for being brave, and putting up your awkward phase.

  2. That takes guts! Thanks for putting it out there. I think many many women can identify, but few so brave as you :)
    And when Mean Girls grow into Mean Women, well, that’s scary! Thankfully, we have a Big Daddy we can run to for comfort and protection!

  3. This is a pretty hard topic to have for our
    God-sized Dreams. When I saw it I was surprised but at the same time relieved you and other bloggers are able to talk about this. Thank you for having the courage to post it :) and being so honest about your situation. I think you were a cutie then and are still very beautiful!

    • You are so sweet, Katie…thank you. :) It was definitely a tough topic, but I love how so many women have been brave enough today to share their struggles…we can learn so much from each others’ insights. Blessings to you…thanks for stopping by! :)

  4. i could’t wait to read your post. you have become one of my favorite people :-) and way to go posting your pic.. i had a poodle perm to :-) thanks for sharing those awesome verses to.. isaiah 41:10 God had already given me this morning.. i am praying for you friend!

    • Jenn, you always bring a huge smile to my face…thank you for your sweet words, prayers, and the encouragement you are to me! Hugs, friend! :)

  5. I think we must have all had that perm at one time. Mel, I just love your honesty. We all like to think we have out-grown the worrying about mean girls but if we look at ourselves honestly then we all, or at least I do, have to admit that we want to be accepted in with the cool kids and worry about the mean girls lurking around.

    • Thank you, Amy! I would agree…I think I (and probably a lot of us) spend too much time worrying about what others think; it’s definitely time for me to get past that and keep going forward. Thanks for stopping by today…blessings! :)

  6. Mel, you inspire me with your transparency and your deep love for Christ and His Word!

    Keep at it precious sister!!! Hugs.

  7. Mel, I’m so glad you ARE putting yourself out there and facing your fears. We need your voice! Oh how scary mean girls are. You know that 100 dreamers have your back now:) We will outnumber them. Great post!

  8. Let me just say that I had to stop reading this post and grab the tissues before continuing. Your words spoke to my heart, in both comforting and painful ways. Mean girls are just so… well, mean. I can still hear their words and feel the sting of their glares. Can I also tell you that every time I come across your picture in our FB group, I think of what a strikingly beautiful woman you are. Your true beauty comes from far beneath the surface and it shines so bright!

    • Oh, thank you, Jessica…you are so sweet! :) And as hard as it is to remember some of these things, I’m so thankful for this community of women and the way we can encourage each other and build each other up. So blessed to be part of this journey with you! Hugs, friend. :)

  9. I am reading your words and feel like I could have written them. Mean girls – they still scare me too. And I am trying, really trying at this point in my life (43 years old) to move past all those past hurts and insults and just meanness. Yo leave all that behind and embrace the me that is here today. Your words give me courage and faith. Thanks for sharing. I also had a perm like that and braces to go with it!

    • Thank you, Holly! It’s hard to move past those feelings, isn’t it? I’m so thankful for my Father who loves me as I am and is teaching me to embrace who He has created me to be. :) Blessings and thanks for stopping by today!

  10. Oh you who are brave, facing her fears, encouraging others! Love it! I almost used 2 Tim 1:7 in my post today too – love that verse! Interesting too, when I was considering fears this past week, some ‘mean girl’ words came back to haunt me. Amazing how long those words can hang on.

    On a lighter note, my daughter is almost 12 and really wants a perm like that for her 12th birthday — it must be a tween thing! :) She is constantly braiding her hair wet to try and get it to look like that in the morning. :)

    • Thank you for your kind words, friend…you are always such an encouragement to me! And I love it that your daughter wants a perm…be sure to post a picture! (Or, maybe you should show her my picture, and she might change her mind!) 😉

  11. I had a poodle-like perm on my bangs and sides of my hair in 3rd grade. Third grade was about one of the worst years of my life because of bullies. I still can remember spending recess by myself while other kids made fun of me. Strange, when I saw your picture I just thought ‘wow, what a cute teenager…’. There is criticism that chews up and spits out, and at some time or another we’ve all been on the receiving end of that. Thanks for being vulnerable. 😉

    • Thanks for sharing…though I’m sorry 3rd grade was such a rough year. Those wounds can still bleed, can’t they? :(

      I think 6th & 7th grades were probably the worst for me, but I can’t remember loving any of them. One of my college profs (I was an education major) always said 4th grade girls were the worst with their cattiness. (I think 3rd and 5th are about the same…I’ve taught them all! And then it trickles into middle school…) I just think girls can be mean without intentionally stopping to consider how their words and actions might be affecting others. It makes me pray for my daughter even harder…not only that God will spare her from these kind of girls but that He’ll keep her from being the mean girl, too.

      Thanks for stopping by, friend! :)

  12. I LOVE this post, Mel! You have a great way of reaching out and connecting with all of us! Mean girls are everywhere, and boy do I know the scars they can leave! Thanks for opening up about this topic…and sharing your picture. You are so beautiful inside and out! I feel so blessed to have met you through the dream team :)

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