I believed that God had a lot of healing and restoration for our family, and I chose that word knowing that we were probably looking at a pretty stretching year.
I was ready to be challenged, but I really had no idea that He would choose to bring us through what He did in order to bring that restoration.
I say bring…I should say that He is still bringING. We’re not done yet…we probably never will be.
And there are times I wish I hadn’t chosen that word…but I did, and He sure had a journey to take us on in the twelve months that made up 2014. I talked a lot about that in my last post…as in 1,200-plus-words, a lot. 😉
And now…we’re looking at 2015, and I’m even looking at it a day late.
Truthfully, for the second year in a row, I thought I would be focusing on a word like Create or Art or Do. Part of that is because my hands have been itching to get busy again. I got two new art books for Christmas, a journaling Bible, and tons of new, fun pens. I kind of can’t wait to get to it all. I’m teaching myself to do lettering, and I’m thinking it’s going to be awesome…though whether I am actually awesome at it is questionable. 😉
But let’s get back to how God ISN’T letting me make that my focus for the year. 😉
It’s not what He’s whispering to me…at all.
And so this post comes to you, courtesy of me finally bending to what I know He’s working on in my heart.
2015: Open. Let me tell you a little about it.
The word Open came to me as I was thinking about the last year and praying through some things. 2014 was a hard year, and as easy as it often is to go back to those things that made it rough, I’m also aware that there are some things God is doing in my heart. I want to be open to them.
So, some goals for 2015.
Open my Bible.
Every day, first thing, even if it’s just for a few. Find something He wants me to dwell on, to think through, to pray over and apply. (And since we’re talking journaling Bibles, which are AWE. SOME., doodling and writing on the pages is totally included in this.)
Open my hands.
There are too many dreams I’ve held onto with tightly-clenched fists, determined that they would come true in my timing and in my way.
Haha. Really, Mel, you should know better by now…
But I am beginning to open my hands by giving you all a gift every Monday. (If you want it!) 😉 Starting this Monday I’ll be sharing my book with you here, chapter by chapter. It’s my way of telling my stories for the simple fact that I love to tell them. No strings attached, just words. (A LOT of them.) 😉
And…Open my heart. (This is a tough one.)
I’ve had this perfect plan in my head for so long, one that includes another baby of our own. Realistically? Well, I know it could happen. And it might, still. But I do believe that the words, my ship has sailed, came out of my mouth the other day in a conversation with my husband. I think God might be moving us into a new season of being open to something different.
While I was at Allume in October, God crossed my path with two incredible women, and through conversation and even a few tears, and through buying the cutest necklace (more on that one another day…) 😉 I learned about The Sparrow Project and Project 143.
I also came home wanting to host a child and possibly adopt.
But I also knew we needed to pray through some things before we decided anything. It’s a shocker, I know, but sometimes I run on emotions. Big ones. 😉
And yet, there was something different about this.
And I honestly didn’t have a clear picture of whether we should even look into it until just last week when the face of an eleven year-old boy popped up into my Facebook news feed. There was something about him, and I called Tobin into the room. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I showed him the picture and told him that I finally felt like now was the time. And maybe the most surprising thing to me was that my hubby didn’t disagree.
Because this is our chance to say, Yes. We’re open to this and whatever might come from it.
This isn’t an announcement to the world that we’re adopting. A part of me wishes it was…there’s something about having a clear picture of whatever is coming. But the honest truth is that we don’t know. We don’t know if we’re meant to have another child in our family, and we don’t want to walk forward with that expectation as an absolute. Some of you know that we’ve been down this road once before, and it was heartbreaking. The decision to adopt is not something that should ever be chosen without an incredible amount of prayer and surrender.
And yet…we feel that God might be finally giving us a glimpse of what’s next. Will you pray with us?
And so that brings us to 2015 and the year of being Open…being open to whatever He has for us.
I really have no idea what it even looks like, but I love the whispers of Hope that are finding their way into my heart.
I love that I’m smiling more smiles and crying less tears as I type this.
I love looking forward to the new and exciting…and I want to completely embrace whatever He has for us, even if it might not be what I would have chosen.
Here’s to 2015. Let’s do this.