music

Five-Minute Friday: Song

May 16, 2013 by Mel · 56 Comments

Today I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo for Five-Minute Friday.

Join me!

The rules: Write for five minutes. No editing, revising, overthinking, or backtracking. Just write.

Today’s Topic: Song

From the day we brought her home, I’ve been singing to her.

When she was teeny, teeny-tiny, I would make up songs that rhymed about everything from changing a diaper to her sweet, stuffed puppy that I hoped would become her favorite. I even took one of our favorite books and put it to a song, one that she will often sing to me now.

~~Always~~ Sometimes I probably sounded like a dork, but I wanted her to know that music is a huge part of our lives from the beginning.

And I wanted her to love it.

By the time she was six months old, she would coo with me as I’d work my way through the rotation of favorites. (Aka: the ones that allowed me to host my own little concerts. ) And by the time she was just over a year old, she’d started to sing little pieces of Jesus Loves Me…and, oh, how my heart turned to a pile of mush.

Around the time she turned two, we were walking hand-in-hand from Target to the car, and I started it.

I’ve got sunshine…

And she finished it…on a cloudy day.

And when it’s cold outside…

I’ve got a girl named Mae. (Yes, I rewrote it slightly. )

I guess you say, who can make me feel this way? Maelie…Maelie!

But perhaps my favorite so far happened on one of those mornings just a few months ago, the kind that started with messes and frustrations and oh-so-many mommy moments that were less than gorgeous. And as I wrestled her into her clothes for the day, she looked up at me.

Gave me her silly, heart-melting, smile.

And she broke into song.

I love you, a bushel and a peck.
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap,
A barrel and a heap, and I’m talking in my sleep
About you.
About who?
About you!

Every single word.

It completely made my day, probably my year.

My Maelie girl…wherever you go in life, always remember music. It’s powerful, it’s beautiful, and you will go far if you always keep a song in your heart.

I know you will.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, Five Minute Friday, just life, Maelie, music, remembering, where I am

My God-Sized Dream: For Good

April 16, 2013 by Mel · 18 Comments

Sometimes we feel alone not because we need to be with others but because God wants to be with us. Our lives are busy–especially when we’re pursuing a dream–and God may want to pull us aside for a bit.

{You’re Made for a God-sized Dream, Chapter Six}.

The most important part of any God-sized dream is the Giver of it. Set aside a particular time this week to be with Him–to pray, journal, take a walk or simply sit quietly and listen.

I don’t do alone well.

Nor, still.

That is not something I’m proud of; it’s simply a fact.

I feel most energized, physically, when I’m out running around, doing things, surrounded by people.

But this season? Has been very different.

Lonely would be the word I would use to describe it.

Not so much the kind where I am never around people; more, the kind where I’m struggling with things I’m not able to process with those around me…

…thoughts of feeling like my broken past defines my future. ..

…and that it means I can’t be somebody because of where I came from.

Time alone with Him was long overdue.

So, in some ways, taking a set time to be with God was a good assignment for me this week; in other ways, I was dreading it.

And my time with Him didn’t come in a way I would have planned it, but instead in the form of an exhausted, emotional, late-Sunday-night drive. The kind where, the tears were so thick and blinding, I probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel.

But I needed to be with Him…in a place where I was sure it was just Him and me.

And maybe it’s where I found honesty and where He spoke…or, maybe, I listened.

I cried out to Him, literally, and somewhere near the McDonald’s on 25, He answered with this.

I’m Tired I’m worn…my heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes, I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

I think that maybe…

Maybe…

On this journey to a dream, He is teaching me what it is I truly long for.

Let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn,
Cause I’m worn

True, I dream of writing a book. The initial words are on the paper. I’m (slowly) tweaking, starting to research book proposals…moving forward. I’m excited about it.

But I think I dream of more…the kind that makes a difference, does something positive.

The kind of more that reflects His love, demonstrates His grace, screams of His redemption.

I want to know that He can take someone who is so broken and still use her for His good.

That’s what I dream of.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

It’s Tuesday, and my dreaming sisters and I are linking up at our friend, Holley’s place. We’d love for you to join us!

Filed Under: blessings, encouragement, God-Sized Dreams, music, what I'm learning, where I am, writing

My God-Sized Dream: How I Live

March 26, 2013 by Mel · 26 Comments

What’s a typical day in your life like right now? How can you see God’s hand in the middle of the “small” and ordinary too?

When I first saw the topic for this week, I smiled and started singing a song.

One that, for reasons unknown to me, somehow made it onto my running playlist about a year ago and became a favorite. I especially love the chorus.

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
‘Cause you won’t regret it
Looking back from where you have been
‘Cause it’s not who you knew
And it’s not what you did, it’s how you live

“How You Live” Point of Grace

Though it may sound a bit flaky, I try to live my life in this way…with the music cranked up (sometimes literally), looking for the adventure in every step, and dancing throughout my days, too. (As long as there’s coffee. )

On a perfect day, I start with a run. I usually do between three and four miles, but I only did 2.4 this morning…on Monday nights I work out with friends, and our workout went late last night and was topped off by a frappuccino and a chat with my dear friend , so I didn’t push it. I’m not Super-runner Woman, either (though I would look good with a cape, huh?!)…it’s something I became intentional about in order to shed those baby pounds and turned into something I enjoy.

When I get home from running (before 7 am) I get the coffee going and get ready for the day.

Key word here = coffee. I drink a ton of the stuff. True confession. But not black…always with creamer. Bailey’s Creme Brulee is my favorite. Mmmmm.

I’m a stay-at-home-mom, and it’s the job title I wear most proudly.

I’m mama to the most incredibly wonderful, spirited, sweet girl, Mae. Ever the non-napper, she almost always gives me a wonderful night’s sleep, so she usually isn’t awake before 7:30. (Unless we’re in time change mode. Ugh.) I love that it gives me time to hop through the shower and get ready somewhat before she’s up.

Once Mae is up, it’s the usual. Breakfast, sometimes-playtime, sometimes-Sesame Street. If she goes the tv route, I use that time to do some Bible reading and blogging. It’s when most of my daytime writing gets done. A lot of people start their mornings early. early. early. with spending time with God. I have found that it simply doesn’t work well for me.

I love Him.

But my mind is not coherent enough before my run to focus. Instead, I crank up a pretty sweet playlist of praise songs for my run and worship Him in that way. I love it, and I usually sing along.

The rest of our day varies, depending on the day. Some days we head to church for Bible study or to help with Feed My Lambs; the other days we’ll chill at home and do art projects or read stories or play princesses or bake. (She’s a huge play doh fan right now, too.) We save errands for the afternoon, usually, because my ever-so-sweet girl mostly-dropped her afternoon nap last summer. (She takes about one a month.)

It’s a simple day, usually, and sometimes there will be more writing or catching up online interspersed with what we do.

My main goal as a stay-at-home mama is to simply enjoy her and be the best mommy to her that I can be. The days are already passing too quickly, and she’ll be off to preschool in just five short months. Tear.

My hubby usually gets home around 5:30, and we’ll spend a little time together as a family, eat dinner, and then it’s off to bathtime and bed for the non-napper girl we have. She’s usually in bed and asleep before 7:30 which gives us some time to unwind. Sometimes T and I will play a game or watch a movie; sometimes we’ll do our own thing…me, usually write; him, catch up with his favorite blogs or watch a TV show. Fun fact: we really love playing cribbage. I know it’s an old-people game, but it’s fun! You should try it.

Being a SAHM was not something I ever thought I’d be, but I love it. I’ve realized, too, that it’s something I should never take for granted. My husband works hard so I can be with my girl, and I know there are a lot of mamas who wish with everything in them that they could be home with their kids, too. I am extremely blessed, and so thankful I can spend my days with Mae.

One of the things God has over-and-over convicted me about is my prayer life. I grew up always thinking that to pray, I needed to stop what I was doing, fold my hands, close my eyes, and talk to Him in that way. And while there are times for that, I try to make prayer part of my lifestyle…and I talk to Him throughout the day. Sometimes in a sentence, sometimes longer. While I’m washing dishes, vacuuming, or even changing a diaper.

I love that He hears me…and that He listens no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

I also love that my daughter is learning the value of speaking to her Father, too, no matter where she is in her day. Often, we’ll pray for Putra, our Compassion child…his picture is on our wall in the kitchen, and she likes to look at it. Mae knows that we can talk to God about him, and that we can do it while we’re playing princesses, too.

In relation to my dream(s) and pursuing them in daily life, my biggest goal is to place them in His hands each day and pray for opportunities. Right now, my sweet friend is reading through my book, and I’m good with that…in some ways, it’s a break I can use to reflect on what He’s asking of me and what could potentially be next. As for my other dream of writing for a bigger blog, I talk to Him about it…and just keep doing my thing…

…writing in this space, which I truly love. I really do, even if the number of blog posts a week has dwindled a bit. (I’m trying to focus on content more instead of word count. Please don’t count the number of words in this post. )

I’m trying to be faithful with the smaller things…and trust that He’ll bring the big things when it’s time. His time.

More than ever, right now, I’m content with that, and it’s a good place to be.

Just living the life He’s created for me, following Him in obedience, and trusting that His plan will happen.

And it’s Tuesday! Hop over to the lovely Holley Gerth’s place to read more stories of what God is doing in the lives of my dreaming sisters! We’d love for you to join us.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, coffee, encouragement, family, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, marriage, music, prayer, running, Tobin, where I am, writing

I Confess…

March 18, 2013 by Mel · 14 Comments

Happy Monday morning, friends!

Though the calendar may say March 18th, my lawn in the burbs of Chicago is blanketed with white.

Again.

Gotta say I’m ovvvveeeer winter.

Spring, come on!!!

Yesterday morning I got up early and actually went for a run. Outside. It was glorious, exhilarating, and slightly cold, but it gave me full-on spring fever.

I thought a few Monday confessions might be good for cheering up my soooooo-ready-for-spring heart. Feel free to add some of your own in the comments.

I’m sitting here in a running jacket and the thickest scarf I could find in the closet. (Snow makes me cold. Even if I’m not outside in it.) Oh, and guess where I bought the scarf? Indonesia. Not kidding. Not sure I ever actually wore it there, but I do love it here! (And I realize this is not a great pic…another confession: This is the real of Monday. Really thankful for makeup today.)

Lately I’ve been missing Bali. I always have a little ache in my chest when I think of Indonesia, and that’s nothing new. But Bali…it must be the lack of spring around here. And the fact that I’m doing a last read-through of my rough draft before giving it to my first readers. How I miss the ocean and surfing and wiggling my toes in the sand of Kuta beach. (Here’s a pic to make you want the beach, too. Anyone wanna go on a little vacation?! )

I let Maelie wear my new (Goodwill) heels this morning. She put them on over her footie pajamas and tromped around our bedroom. And though a small piece of me thought those three inches might be a little dangerous, when she put on my headband, my heart just melted, and I sat back to enjoy the moment. Then I took a picture before I made her take them off. (Sorry, the lighting in our bedroom is not fabulous for an iPhone. And please forgive the pile of clothes…I’ll clean them up later today. )

We may, or may not, be slightly addicted to Tangled in our house. And not only is it a great movie, the music is so fun. For the last few weeks, I have been trying to get the first song down…besides having a ton of words, the note jumps are tricky. But I’ve got it and am, unashamedly, admitting that I walk around the house singing it all day long. (Do any other musicians out there think this is a hard song to sing?)

And…here it is! Rough draft. Printed off last night. 123 pages and 36, 223 words of heart and soul on paper. I’m (most likely tearfully) handing it over to three friends this week. I’m not sure if that part is the confession…more the intense mix of elation and nerves that are currently taking over my stomach. Nothing like a little fear of rejection to make a person sweat. But mostly, I’m thrilled to be at this point. FRIENDS, I WROTE A BOOK!!!

And since my heart is pounding like crazy just from telling you that, I’ll just wish you, again, a happy Monday!

Blessings.

Filed Under: adventures, barefoot, being mommy, blessings, God-Sized Dreams, Indonesia, Maelie, music, remembering, travel, where I am, writing

Currently…

February 3, 2013 by Mel · 3 Comments

Been awhile since I’ve done this one. And it’s a good way to wind down on a Sunday night.

Current Reads: Just finished Unglued (Lysa Teurkeurst)…we read that one for Mom’s Bible Study. It was so, so good…I recommend it to just about anyone. Just about finished with A Year of Biblical Womanhood (Rachel Held Evans) which has been a fun and challenging read. Also almost finished with The Do-What-You-Can Plan (Holley Gerth) and so excited to dive into her new book, You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream! (Planning to start it tomorrow!)

Current Playlist: I actually just made a new favorites/running playlist a few days ago. Even splurged and bought a few new favorite songs on iTunes. This one is definitely toward the top of the list…I even hold my own little karaoke session in the car whenever it’s on.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: These. Found on Pinterest, of course. I decided that even if we didn’t have plans for the Super Bowl, we could still eat something yummy. Oh, my.

Current Colors: Gray and mustard yellow, green, cream, black. Lovin’ a lot of colors right now.

Current Fetish: Leg warmers and tall boots…two things I love about being cold and am desperately trying to wear as often as possible.

Current Food: See above. Though we went out for some pretty amazing buffalo chicken pizza here last night. Gotta be a winner when you combine two of my favorites.

Current Drink: Water. Though thinking about making some coffee. Yes, I’m boring.

Current Wishlist: Nothing, really. I’m boring? A new laptop, but that will have to wait. Still got a few miles left in this new-to-me one.

Current Needs: Peace…and more trust in my Father through some uncertainties that seem to be looming on the horizon. He is Good.

Current Triumph: A pretty fantastic week (minus a few isolated incidents) with my daughter. Less and less temper tantrums, less and less mama-frustration…lots more happy memories and bonding moments. She is my sunshine.

Current Bane-of-my-Existence: Rude drivers who don’t obey merge signs. (Not that I’ve had a recent experience with that or anything. )

Current Celebrity Crush: Well, there’s this pretty cool guy. And he’s married to a girl who could maybe be a published author in the near future. And that would make him a celebrity, right? Yeah, I’ve got a crush on him.

Current Indulgence: Too much coffee. I blame it on the creamer…always the creamer. And that sinful, buttery dessert I may have mentioned a few times already.

Current Mood: Subdued with a bit of guilt. I should be trying to add a chapter or two to the rough draft tonight. (Though there is definitely still time since I don’t really care about the game. )

Current #1 Blessing: One? Really? My little family. My sweet friends. My Father and His love for me.

Current Slang or Saying: Oy; Oh, goodness; Really?!

Current Outfit: Hoodie, jeans, and my favorite slipper boots.

Current Link: I always hate this one. I’ve got a bunch of new faves on the sidebar of my blog…feel free to check ‘em out!

Current Photo: Tonight you get me and my sweet boy, Andre. Love him.

Happy almost-Monday, friends! Hope your weekend was a good one.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, dogs, family, friends, just life, Maelie, music, reading, Tobin, where I am

Just a Diet Pepsi Chat…

January 10, 2013 by Mel · Leave a Comment

Hi there, friends.

Just a sit-down-with-a-Diet-Pepsi and chat-with-you-all kind of night.

First off, I want to say thank you to all of you.

Your encouragement and comments in the past weeks (especially Tuesday) since I’ve started sharing more about my God-Sized Dream have knocked my socks off. Well, figuratively. It’s far too cold for even me to be running around barefoot.

I have to admit that as I continue to write and share my heart, this whole book-writing thing gets scarier and scarier. There’s so much that needs to happen…and so much that I’m admittedly uneasy and nervous about. Extra reasons for me to grasp more tightly to my Father’s hand, huh? He’s got it.

But I want to keep most of my dream-sharing for Tuesdays…so I’ll save my most recent thoughts until then.

It has been quite the week in the Schroeder house.

Hubby is wrapping up his job tomorrow…the one he’s been working since we moved here in July 2010.

It’s very surreal for both of us…sad, yes, but there is so much hope for the future, and we’re extremely grateful for that. With his new job, I’ll be able to stay home with Mae and write…with the non-pressure to make some money if I would like. I’ll just get to be with my girl, work on my writing, spend time with friends and at at my church…that makes me really, really happy.

Like, REALLY, REALLY HAPPY!!!!

And I’m happy for him, too…this job is a blessing in so many ways, and we’re excited for this new step.

It’s also been a hard week.

I’ve hesitated sharing this…and I’m going to leave most of the details out here. Really…if you want to find out more, I’m sure it won’t be that difficult, but I want to respect the people involved.

There’s been so much heartache and sadness for friends from the church we left behind in Minnesota, who I’ve known for several years and Tobin has known most of his life. They are going through something incredibly heart-wrenching and devastating…their son was charged yesterday with killing his wife on Sunday.

It’s the kind of situation that makes me sick…both physically and in my heart.

Sick for the family and friends of this beautiful woman and mother.

Sick for the little boy she left behind.

Sick for his family and friends…not only are they left with so many unanswered questions and wonderings, but they’ve also lost a daughter-in-law, sister, and friend whom they loved, too.

I just ache for them…to the point where I’m not sure I can even put it into words.

Will you pray for this family? I know they need and would appreciate your prayers so much. I’ve been asking God to just hold them tightly and reaffirm His unconditional love for them in amazing ways. I just cry for them…they must be hurting so much.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23

What a beautiful thing that, as children of God, we can claim this promise.

So thankful for that tonight…thank you for praying. Love to you all.

P.S. This song has been playing over and over in my head over the past two days. I love it and the Truth found in it. Have a listen.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, encouragement, family, friends, God-Sized Dreams, just life, Maelie, music, prayer, where I am, writing

Hanging on to a Memory

December 13, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

I apologize for the quality of this…phone camera + two dogs = dark and extra noise.

Don’t worry, you’ll still love it!

This moment is something that has just recently started happening in our house, and I don’t know how long it will last! Gotta get it on video while we can.

Oh, I love her.

And despite the years passing and the no-longer-baby-but toddler we now have, I wouldn’t change a single thing.

I love you, my Maelie girl!

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, Maelie, music

So fun!!!

November 27, 2012 by Mel · Leave a Comment

May I please do this in my lifetime? Pretty please?

Fantastic. That is all.

Filed Under: just life, music, random

Laughing at Myself and Chatting to Whoever Will Listen

November 8, 2012 by Mel · 2 Comments

Ok, I’m a funny girl.

Potentially the kind that doesn’t realize she’s funny until two days later.

Take, for instance, the post I wrote two days ago. Death by Dum-Dum?

Though it was election night (and, by the way, there was no dancing in our house ) I was not referring to my president when I titled it. Just wanted to clear that up there, though it did kinda make me smile when I thought about the irony of it all.

The fact is, Obama’s our president for the next four years and, like it or not, that’s the way it is. No amount of foot stomping and tantrum throwing from people old enough to vote is going to change things.

So I accept it and pray extra hard for our country because we really need it.

And I may, or may not, crack an extra-big smile when I think of the completely un-considered title of Tuesday’s post.

I laugh at myself for other reasons, too.

Like today when I was just belting out a song with the radio and realized the guy at the stoplight next to me was totally watching.

Yeah, yeah, dude…you just wish YOU could look half as cool while hosting an impromptu karaoke session in your vehicle.

Does anyone ELSE do this? Please tell me I’m not alone in the I-wanna-be-a-rock-star concerts that take place each time you get into your vehicle?

At any rate, I turned the corner and laughed a little. Didn’t bother my self-esteem at all!

I have SO been in the mood for any-and-all-things gingerbread. Candles, lattes, my favorite cake. And, today, Mae and I were walking through the store, and I caved. I completely broke down and bought gingerbread cookie mix.

I don’t think I’ve ever bought a cookie MIX.

Cookies are just something you make from ingredients. Not everything thrown into a bag.

But, we shall see. Cookie baking is on the list for tomorrow, and I’ll let you know if they’re any good. I have a feeling, since they’re gingerbread, they’ll totally hit the spot.

So I’ve been on a running break this week…think I mentioned it once or twice.

I hurt my foot. I’ve had two stress fractures before (one in my leg, one in my foot) so I knew what to look for and would bet a lot that’s what’s going on. It makes me sad because I’m itching to run…get out there, pound the pavement, and shatter my not-so-wonderful 5k time from Sunday’s race. Can I blame it on the chocolate? Never mind…that was AFTER the race.

Anyway, I posted a 29:01 on Sunday, which was frustrating. (And it has taken me that long to be able to talk about it.) I can run it in 27:30 when I really push myself, but for some reason, that particular morning I just couldn’t get through the pain. It was a bummer…a few tears even dripped.

One of my friends is going through the I-really-shouldn’t-run phase now, too, because of a different injury, and we chatted yesterday about how crabby it was making us that we just couldn’t run.

For me, it’s knowing when it’s ok to push it again. I’m thinking I may try intervals sometime next week, but until then…yay for Pilates?

WOO HOO!!! Ok, that was forced exuberance.

I’m trying to look for the good in it, and though I miss that time of cranking up the music, tuning out the world, and praising Him, I have enjoyed, just a teeny-bit, sleeping ’til seven. But I’ll be ready to go at 6 a.m. next week for sure!

Hope you all have had a good week, and guess what?!?!

Tomorrow’s Friday…gotta love that.

Filed Under: friends, just life, music, random, running, where I am

So I Will Dance With Cinderella…

November 1, 2012 by Mel · 6 Comments

Oh, she was beautiful.

Absolutely.

She sat perfectly still while I did her Cinderella hair. Just for the record, that never happens, but she barely moved a muscle as I twisted her hair into a bun, doing what I could with her limited amount of hair. (Cinderella must have had a lot of hair…of course, it seems to work that way in fairy tales. No fair. At least she didn’t want to be Rapunzel!)

And she loved it anyway.

Tobin and I looked at each other, almost in disbelief at how fast she is growing up. Dressing like Cinderella. Old enough to know what it means to dance.

And perhaps the most heart-melting moment of the day was when she took her daddy’s hands and they twirled in a circle.

Danced.

I seriously couldn’t resist it…I had to sing. So I sang through part of the chorus before a lump formed in my throat and I couldn’t continue.

You see, there’s this place of honesty in my heart that I haven’t let find its place on my blog just yet.

That place where I truly ask myself, as the days slip by, if this is the only time we’ll experience this. If this time of dancing is only going to be with her.

Don’t get me wrong…she’s enough. More than that.

God poured his blessings into our lives on that Monday morning in June 2010. And He continues to do so.

I have never forgotten how wonderful it was to hear her cry, see her face, hold her for the first time. I remember thinking how tiny she was and how I felt certain that those moments would last forever.

Though they didn’t, it was a nice dream.

And as each day happens and as we soak up the wonderful and the terrible and the happy and the sad and the joyous and the frustrating and the completely blessed…well, we just do our best to make memories out of what we’re given.

Like those memories made yesterday as my sweet little Cinderella twirled with her daddy.

I don’t want to spend my days wondering; I’d rather just live them.

Live them fully as I let my little girl be Cinderella for as long as she wants to be. I’ll watch her twirl and sing and dance and be the wonderful Mae that God has created her to be.

And soak up the blessings of now.

So I will dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms;
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew.
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella, I don’t wanna miss even one song;
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight…and she’ll be gone.

Filed Under: being mommy, blessings, family, just life, Maelie, music, where I am