Ha ha…I’m getting pretty good at writing on the last day of the month and no other days. I guess that’s just life right now.
I’m honestly still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that 2015 is hours from ending, and I’m not exactly sure where it went. (I’m also wondering if this blog post is actually going to make it…it’s 11:45 and I still haven’t posted.) 😉
I mean…there were milestones. There were lots of things that happened. Lots of good. Some bad. Probably a few things I’ve blocked from my memory, too, and that’s ok.
There were sweet family moments and vacations…hello great, BIG, I-love-you, New York City! There were friend moments and lots of coffee and chats at a picnic table I actually built. I know. 😉 There were laughs and giggles with my girl as we rang in the big FIVE (really? how did this happen???) and so many memories that I can’t even really begin to count them all. Oh, and I ran a ridiculously long race that I will probably never do again. And I got a tattoo.
And there were challenging moments, too…days of marriage that required surrender and forgiveness and humility. Times we wished for different circumstances. Sickness and disease in people we love…and those brought us to our knees and forced us to give thanks both in the healing and in the dying.
Whew. There was a lot.
But despite all of that, I’ll look back at this year as a good one. Read on.
So a year ago, I chose a word.
I was determined to be open to whatever it was that God had for us, especially me, in 2015.
I thought I knew what that was, and it included adoption.
So I was open…but with a plan for those doors that would open.
And then…it just didn’t happen. We had some good conversations and prayed, and it didn’t seem that, in this season, adoption was right for our family.
I was content with that and content to move forward as a family of three.
God was definitely working on me when it came to being satisfied with what He gives.
And so, instead of grief, we embraced the milestones. The first day of Kindergarten and her first time wearing a school uniform. (Cue the cuteness.) The first lost tooth, followed by another. The fact that Mae seemed to grow inches overnight and we had to keep buying new clothes. Her first season of soccer. Her first Christmas service.
Oy…I could keep going forever. So many firsts. Wonderful ones.
And we embraced them, knowing that most likely, those firsts would be onlys and lasts, too.
In October I flew out to New Jersey/New York to see some friends. During my time there, I had a pretty intense conversation with a friend where I told her, We’re done. And I’m ok with it.
And I was.
And then there was this morning in November. I’d wondered for a couple weeks before because I felt off. On a whim, I peed on a stick.
Yep. God has a sense of humor…and a plan so far greater than anything I could ever plan for myself.
2016 is going to bring a lot of things…included in it, a new baby in July.
I’d still be trying to wrap my mind around it all except I’ve been so dang sick that I am obviously pregnant (well, and we’ve gotten a heartbeat…), and at 10 weeks, have already just about exhausted all of the medication possibilities available to me. One has kinda worked, so we’re going with it for now. And, in between, I sleep and try to survive (and, yes, puke) a lot.
Not how I would have pictured it, but I tell myself continually to give thanks.
God is good, even when we don’t see it.
And I know without a doubt that this is good, too.
I’m not choosing a word for 2016.
I never really thought of one or felt like there was something specific God was putting on my heart. I suppose I could choose baby 😉 but I think I’m just going to go with taking the year as it comes and waiting on Him each day for what He has for my heart.
He’s continually making things new, and that’s a pretty awesome promise to cling to.
My family…we’d appreciate your prayers. While this is the second time I’ve gone through this…it’s tougher this time around. I’ve been sicker, and I’ve also got an active five year-old to keep up with, too.
By the way, she’s completely over the moon and can’t wait to change all the diapers.
Golly, I love her.
So I’m not sure what all we’re looking at this coming year. Lots of changes, definitely. 😉 I’d like to keep up with the blog. I’d like to keep writing for the two sites I contribute to. I hope that will happen and that this online space won’t completely die off, too. Because I love it…and it’s special.
But no matter how often…or not…I check in, I think I’ll be around. There will be too many fun things I’ll want to share with y’all.
So here’s to a great year…and to 2016!
Happy New Year, friends. XO