2015: Open

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A year ago I chose Restore as my word for 2014.

I believed that God had a lot of healing and restoration for our family, and I chose that word knowing that we were probably looking at a pretty stretching year.

I was ready to be challenged, but I really had no idea that He would choose to bring us through what He did in order to bring that restoration.

I say bring…I should say that He is still bringING. We’re not done yet…we probably never will be.

And there are times I wish I hadn’t chosen that word…but I did, and He sure had a journey to take us on in the twelve months that made up 2014. I talked a lot about that in my last post…as in 1,200-plus-words, a lot. 😉

And now…we’re looking at 2015, and I’m even looking at it a day late.

Truthfully, for the second year in a row, I thought I would be focusing on a word like Create or Art or Do. Part of that is because my hands have been itching to get busy again. I got two new art books for Christmas, a journaling Bible, and tons of new, fun pens. I kind of can’t wait to get to it all. I’m teaching myself to do lettering, and I’m thinking it’s going to be awesome…though whether I am actually awesome at it is questionable. 😉

But let’s get back to how God ISN’T letting me make that my focus for the year. 😉

It’s not what He’s whispering to me…at all.

And so this post comes to you, courtesy of me finally bending to what I know He’s working on in my heart.

open door button final 32015: Open. Let me tell you a little about it.

The word Open came to me as I was thinking about the last year and praying through some things. 2014 was a hard year, and as easy as it often is to go back to those things that made it rough, I’m also aware that there are some things God is doing in my heart. I want to be open to them.

So, some goals for 2015.

Open my Bible.

Every day, first thing, even if it’s just for a few. Find something He wants me to dwell on, to think through, to pray over and apply. (And since we’re talking journaling Bibles, which are AWE. SOME., doodling and writing on the pages is totally included in this.) :)

Open my hands.

There are too many dreams I’ve held onto with tightly-clenched fists, determined that they would come true in my timing and in my way.

Haha. Really, Mel, you should know better by now…

But I am beginning to open my hands by giving you all a gift every Monday. (If you want it!) 😉 Starting this Monday I’ll be sharing my book with you here, chapter by chapter. It’s my way of telling my stories for the simple fact that I love to tell them. No strings attached, just words. (A LOT of them.) 😉

And…Open my heart. (This is a tough one.)

I’ve had this perfect plan in my head for so long, one that includes another baby of our own. Realistically? Well, I know it could happen. And it might, still. But I do believe that the words, my ship has sailed, came out of my mouth the other day in a conversation with my husband. I think God might be moving us into a new season of being open to something different.

While I was at Allume in October, God crossed my path with two incredible women, and through conversation and even a few tears, and through buying the cutest necklace (more on that one another day…) 😉 I learned about The Sparrow Project and Project 143.

I also came home wanting to host a child and possibly adopt.

But I also knew we needed to pray through some things before we decided anything. It’s a shocker, I know, but sometimes I run on emotions. Big ones. 😉

And yet, there was something different about this.

And I honestly didn’t have a clear picture of whether we should even look into it until just last week when the face of an eleven year-old boy popped up into my Facebook news feed. There was something about him, and I called Tobin into the room. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I showed him the picture and told him that I finally felt like now was the time. And maybe the most surprising thing to me was that my hubby didn’t disagree.

Because this is our chance to say, Yes. We’re open to this and whatever might come from it. 

This isn’t an announcement to the world that we’re adopting. A part of me wishes it was…there’s something about having a clear picture of whatever is coming. But the honest truth is that we don’t know. We don’t know if we’re meant to have another child in our family, and we don’t want to walk forward with that expectation as an absolute. Some of you know that we’ve been down this road once before, and it was heartbreaking. The decision to adopt is not something that should ever be chosen without an incredible amount of prayer and surrender.

And yet…we feel that God might be finally giving us a glimpse of what’s next. Will you pray with us?

And so that brings us to 2015 and the year of being Open…being open to whatever He has for us.

I really have no idea what it even looks like, but I love the whispers of Hope that are finding their way into my heart.

I love that I’m smiling more smiles and crying less tears as I type this.

I love looking forward to the new and exciting…and I want to completely embrace whatever He has for us, even if it might not be what I would have chosen.

Here’s to 2015. Let’s do this. :)

Photo Credits: William Murphy, Tim Green

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Comments

  1. How exciting and beautiful!! And I L.O.V.E. LOVE my new journaling bible. Just started John yesterday and know that having this special bible will help in my doing the same…opening the pages daily! Dominic and I watched “The Good Lie” yesterday and it was all about the Sudanese refugees….he asked how I felt at the end and I said that I just wanted to bring home some of those children and give them a family. I get the whole big heart, emotions thing. I don’t know that adoption would ever be in our future but I am praying for you all as you step forward and trust that God WILL protect you during the journey!!

  2. LOVE this! You been through it this year my friend, but God is bringing you through. I am thankful you are smiling more too. Looking forward to seeing your art journaling when God allows you to focus on that. Happy New Year!

  3. Oh girl, I am praying with you and for you! Adoption is such a journey! Please let me know if I can help in any way. And I hear ya, I’m a bit terrified of my word this year too!!

    • Isn’t it crazy how one word can bring such terror? 😉 I’m trying to channel that fear into expectation…because God has good plans for both of us. And thank you for your sweet offer, too…I will definitely keep you posted. Sending hugs. :)

  4. I love outflowing of hope beyond the tears in your words today. God seems to be restoring you in a beautiful way. Let’s talk soon. Love you and join with you in prayer for wisdom and direction.

  5. Mel,
    I love this. In my experience, the hard words (and challenges) are among the best. Lord knows I had NO idea what I was doing when I chose my last three (Surrender, Broken, and then Crucible)! I am so looking forward to the things, places, and revelations God will open to you in 2015. So grateful you’re my tribe, girl!
    Joy in the New Year!
    Love,
    Chelle

  6. Love you! Love these words! Love that your smiling more again! And a journaling bible – I haven’t heard of that before, but it might be just what I need too! I am definitely going to be searching online for that after I’m done typing this! (or maybe I need to go to jane.com first — oh tough decisions! 😉 )And do you know how big I smiled when I read your words that you were going to be sharing your story on Mondays!! I’m definitely looking forward to Monday’s now! :) I continue to be so thankful God let our paths cross on this journey!

    • Oh, friend…me too. I’m still amazed that a book launch turned into family. Only God can do that. :) I’m so blessed to have the chance to share this journey with you. And I love my journaling Bible…and totally recommend getting one. Maybe it’s goofy, but I look forward to opening it and reading, just so I can find a truth for the day and then make it pretty in the margins. 😉 But I also love that it’s getting me back into the Word. Blessings and hugs, girl…and let me know how shopping goes, too! 😉

  7. Though God is not constrained to a calendar year, it is nice for us to have regular moments in time where we can assess where we are in His plan, say goodbye to some icky moments, and renew our hope for the future. In am so thankful for God’s grace in all of this.
    I am curious about this journaling Bible! May God make plain his plans for you this year my friend!

    • I can tell you all about it tomorrow…I had it with me today and should have shown it to you. I sort of love it…it’s so much more fun to read the Bible when there’s space in the margins to write notes. And doodle and make bubble letters. And color them in. Ahem. 😉 Love you, friend…so thankful for you!

  8. We will add your family to our list of those considering adoption that we pray over. It’s an adventure and one that feels so vulnerable and raw at times. We went through two failed attempts before adopting our 18 month old at birth. She’s exactly who God had for us as the peace and events leading up to her are just undeniable. God is in the details, excited to see how He works them all out for your family. xo

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