Mid 50’s in (technically still) February? JOY! What a gorgeous day!
Mid 50’s in (technically still) February? JOY! What a gorgeous day!
Lately I’ve been
Though I can be a little scattered, I tend to be focused on the important things in life throughout my day…especially on being a mommy.
The past few weeks, I feel like I’ve let distraction and worry interfere with my relationship with Maelie.
I’ve been tired and less motivated to play with her. I more easily give into her pleas for another “Melmo” episode or graham crackers in the middle of the day.
And while there haven’t been any really serious repercussions from this, there have definitely been more crabby moments (for both of us) and temper tantrums (not for both of us). 😉
I had a conversation last night with a friend and I mentioned that I felt as though I wasn’t being a very good mommy to my girl…and admitting that out loud made me really stop to consider…
How I don’t want to miss those moments I can’t get back. Like this one…goodness, she did her own hair! The only part I had in this was flying down the stairs like a crazy, superhero-ish chica to grab the camera before she took everything out. 😀
How my daughter is watching everything I do. And how, when she watches me, I want her to observe me being the best mommy possible.
That my attitudes and speech are all-too-easily mimicked by her…as evidenced by her repeating the word crap today. Yeah. And my first thought? Did I really say that? Yep, five seconds ago…
That I want to make good memories with my daughter…and not just remember the temper tantrums and less-than-wonderful moments. I want the nights when she snuggles up to me while I sing and the days we chase each other through the house “playing” hide and seek to outweigh those other things a million to one.
We are finishing up the Beth Moore Bible study, Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit in my Thursday morning study. It’s been excellent…and we’re on the very last one, self-control. I am seeing more and more, not just how important it is for me to have self control in my life…but it’s also important that I choose that control when it is so much easier to do or say something else.
Today was good.
Much better than the past weeks have been.
We giggled together and did some spinning. Read books and played with baby dolls. Went on an “adventure”. (aka: anything outside the house ;))
Tonight I had to leave before she went to bed to get a few things done. When I got home she was still awake, and so I went upstairs to see her. She reached out her arms with the biggest smile on her face, and I picked her up, held her close to me, and sang the song we sing every night…All Through the Night. She fell asleep in my arms, I kissed her, and put her back in her crib.
Those are the moments from this precious time that I want to remember.
Sore muscles from running stairs. (I swear this is good pain…we shall see!)
A little voice that shouted out, “I wuff oooo!” today. Oh, melt my heart.
Pumpkin seeds and Diet Coke with Lime…post-workout snack of champions. 😉
Chances to love and encourage others.
The gift of music and how God’ s promi
ses have spoken so clearly to my heart through it. (See song from yesterday…it is truly worth the listen.)
Reading the Bible with my hubby. And praying with him…even better.
National Chocolate Cake Day…which I completely missed. But by a fluke, I made Heath Bar Brownies…those count, right?
Hugs. I love them all, but the best ones come when a certain little girl runs into my arms. Melt my heart again.
Being a child of God.
I’ve always loved this hymn, but this version of it is even better. We sang it at church today, and I think I have a new favorite.
What amazing promises from our Father.
Have a listen.
Do you ever have those moments when you type a word…and you KNOW you spelled it right, but it LOOKS so very wrong?
That’s the way the word “thinking” looks right now. Please assure me that I spelled it right. Pretty please?!
Ok, moving on…
I had every intention of sitting down with my mug of blueberry tea (still fightin’ off that cold…) and having a little chat with you.
That was thirty minutes ago.
The tea is gone, I ate a peppermint patty (by the way, those don’t go so well with blueberry tea), helped hubby pick out a couple trip necessities on Amazon…
And didn’t write.
But that’s ok…I’ll just write now. (And maybe refill my mug because, you know, there’s nothing I’d rather do than be up all night going to the bathroom. Ok, ok, TMI.)
I’ve been pretty cool with being kind of whatever for this trip. We haven’t planned much other than hotel, which is typical Mel-Tobin travel style. We find adventures without looking for them, so all will be good as long as there’s a beach, a place to get coffee, and some type of public transportation in which I won’t be sat on by a random stranger. (Long Indo story/memory.)
I’ve hit a couple thrift stores for some clothes that fit, borrowed some more from my most amazing friend who is excited that her clothes are going to Spain, (I’m happy to oblige) and hopefully that’ll be enough. I must say, though, it’s very difficult to pack for a trip in which the daily temperature can vary from 40-75. Hello, layers. Hopefully I will get a bit of color, even if a tan really isn’t at the top of the list for my trip goals. 😉
But the one thing I kind of freaked out about…is my hair. (Yes, I’m vain. I said it, you don’t have to.) I have fretted more-than-slightly about what on earth I’m going to do about my hair and it’s overly-frizzy-curly tendencies in humid climates. (Or even in not-so…) That’s because my current straightener isn’t dual voltage.
Amazon Prime to the rescue!
I actually needed a new straightener anyway, and we found a great one with good reviews for an awesome price. And since we’re prime members, free shipping. Hee HEE!
I can rest easy that at least my hair will look good in all the photos.
I’m really not as vain as I sound…I just firmly believe in doing my hair before going out in public. Even my hubby admitted that I’m mostly not high maintenance. (Mel breathes a sigh of relief…as she puts on eyeliner before going to bed.)
Gosh, what was IN that tea?!?!
We really need to move on to another subject.
I could tell you a funny story about how my hubby just came downstairs at 10:35 p.m. in order to teach me how to properly hang up my pants that I’m wearing tomorrow. Admittedly, I’m a clothes-thrower. I’ll try on a few things usually before deciding what to wear, and they usually end up in a pile to be sifted through and hung up again…which I do maybe twice a week.
I just figured since they were already off the hanger, I could just leave them there until tomorrow. I guess not. 😉
It was kind of cute how he came downstairs…and kind of annoying, too. (Which I let him know. :)) In the end, though…success. I now know how to hang up my pants the right way. (Just so you know I’m still chuckling at the entire situation…)
I love him. Honestly, we’ve had a pretty up and down few months. I’d be lying if I told you that being married has been a big, happy fairy tale. But life is good. I’m learning a lot about love. We’re laughing more. And we’re learning that “us” is just as important as “Mel” and “Tobin”.
God has been giving me little pieces of JOY each day, despite some of the heartaches I’ve shared lately. And I want to share this one because I mentioned it yesterday…my friend made it through surgery. She did well, and though recovery will be long, the doctor’s are optimistic. Praise Him.
I’ve been spending more time talking to Him…just pieces of my day spent telling Him my heart. It’s good. I know I have a lot to learn about prayer, but I’m thankful that I can just talk with Him and cry to Him.
Well, tomorrow morning is going to come early…I need to crash.
It’s a heavy sort of morning.
Outside, the blanket of white beauty that fell overnight makes the world a little prettier. The tree branches bending under the weight of their icy frosting make the scene outside my window look much more like a photograph than reality.
But it’s real…and a very real reminder to my heart this morning.
A few hours ago a dear sister from a decade ago went in for surgery, the doctors hoping to correct the problem with seizures she’s been having, their frequency and severity increasing. It’s a delicate surgery, and the snow covering the world reminds me of the blanket of prayer in which she’s wrapped.
God is Good…and He will be just that regardless of the outcome. But this pastor’s wife and mama to two precious girls has so much living to do…and we all pray that she will be able to do just that. KS, you are in my heart and prayers today and in the days to come.
Another dear, lifelong friend is aching and hurting so much right now. In so many ways, she is my hero. The Proverbs 31 woman, a fantastic mommy to her wonderful and beautiful children…and the ache in her is something I can’t fix.
That kills me.
All I can do is pray. He has already wrapped her in prayer and love. She is loved…so loved. And we trust in His goodness even when we don’t see purpose.
And still another dear friend faces unknown. I ache for that unknown, for I am still learning trust. But her strength and joy encourage me, a daily reminder of the Grace in which she walks.
Today I am reminded that just as the blanket of snow outside makes everything a little prettier, so is His Love.
It makes things beautiful.
He hears prayer, He calms troubled hearts, and He proves over and
over that He is Love.
And that He is Good.
It is in that blanket that I wrap myself today.
And the one I hope you find yourself covered in, too.
Productive (and fun) trips to Goodwill with my sweet friend.
A beautiful snowfall.
Coffee. And creamer. And more coffee. And still more creamer. And maybe a little more coffee.
Precious moments with my girl that I wish I could bottle up.
The adorable way that Mae repeats everything I say. Yes, it’s adorable now. Ask me again in a year or so. 😉
Blog-browsing late into the night.
Two consecutive nights of good sleep.
The joy that making music brings.
The way that friends are always connected by their hearts even if too many miles separate them.
Resting in the loving heart of my Father.
Just a few thoughts I’ve been tossing around in my brain for a couple weeks. Enjoy.
So…the title of my blog is kinda funny.
I mean, I live in the Midwest.
I rarely ever go barefoot outside the house unless it’s just in the backyard, though I would almost always rather go without shoes.
It isn’t because I want you all to stare at my gorgeous feet. 😉
I just don’t love shoes…though if I have to wear them, I’m pretty particular about what I wear.
But that’s not the point.
The point? Is this.
That shoes have so much purpose.
They protect. Wearing shoes, I don’t have to worry about stepping on painful things or stubbing my toes or tearing up the bottoms of my feet. All things that inevitably happen the day I choose to not wear shoes. 😉
They make things more comfortable. If I’m going for a run or even a walk, I definitely want to wear shoes. Not only do they make me run faster, 😉 running shoes are specifically designed to absorb shock and to deal with things like sticks and little stones that are in my way…without causing me any pain. And while we’re talking about comfort, I always wear at least slippers if not shoes while I’m inside in the winter. Cause my feet are always super cold and I can’t stand it. (Says the girl who jumped around in two feet of snow barefoot last year.) 😉
They just make life prettier. Obviously I’m not worried about the pretty when it comes to my feet. But shoes cover things…and hide what’s not so beautiful to look at. And lately, I’ve been tromping around in a pair of combat boots that I heart almost to the moon and back…golly, I loooove them. Pretty or not, they are my favorite piece of footwear I’ve ever owned.
I live my life completely opposite of the things I just listed.
I don’t want to write about the safe, comfortable, pretty journey I’m on. Probably because it’s often none of those things.
There are stones on the path that make me hurt.
There are times when things are just plain ugly.
And while there’s a time and place to share some things but not everything…that’s why my blog is titled as it is.
It’s a place where I’m as real as I can be.
A place where I (figuratively) kick of my shoes and let you know what’s up.
That was the whole idea behind barefootmel…which I still think is pretty appropriate when it comes to me. 😉
And, while we’re talking about shoes…I’ll get to wear FLIP FLOPS in Spain in JUST TWO WEEKS!
I’ll probably even go barefoot on the beach. 😉
Thanks for reading my scattered thoughts…and for being here.
It is an extremely rare day that I blog before noon. Even rarer, before 9 a.m.
Mae is up for the morning, having her breakfast, watching her “Melmo”. (Elmo ;))
I’ve showered and am sitting down with a rather strange combination of morning goodies…my Airborne drink to (hopefully) keep on keepin’ this cold away; my oatmeal, with chocolate chips of c
ourse; and a cup of coffee. (With this amazing York Peppermint Patty creamer, since I know you’re all wondering!)
I had a good chat with a friend yesterday that provided a pretty enlightening moment for me.
See, I tend to be a burden carrier.
My heart takes the hurts and burdens of others, carries them around…and that eventually starts wearing me down as a person.
There are a lot of people in my life right now who are hurting. I want to be there for them. I ache for them. I cry for them. I lose sleep for them.
It’s the way my heart works.
Some people are easily able to give their burdens to the Father…I struggle with that. I want to but often find it hard to trust.
I processed that with her a little yesterday and left the conversation realizing that there’s a difference between letting burdens weigh me down and having compassion like Jesus did.
Last night I got a phone call from a dear friend, and she shared some heartbreaking news. I think I felt my heart break, and I could feel that I was weighing myself down once again. My mind raced, and I wondered what I could do to help…and her response was simple.
Please, just pray. It’s what we need right now.
Prayer. Giving it to God. Laying those things at His feet, knowing and trusting completely that He has it all figured out.
I am working on that…on not carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. On giving things to Him.
Still allowing myself to ache and cry…and love completely.
Because that’s compassion.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I love His promises, and this morning, this one is precious.
I love this song…and it was a good reminder to me today.
Follower of my Father. Wife to Tobin. Mommy to Mae. Friend. Writer. Dreamer. Throw in some coffee, chocolate, running, music, and that's me. I fill this space with the real of my heart and life as I dance through my days with one hand holding my daughter's and the other holding a cup of coffee. Welcome! I hope you'll stay awhile.